Saturday, January 30, 2016

Weekend haiku

All the guys who walk
around, confident, wearing
Speedos, shouldn't be 

---------------------------------- 

My wife has severe
laryngitis, no voice, so
I slept peacefully

Friday, January 29, 2016

Friday haiku

Why don't they measure
the ocean's depth in feet? I
just can't fathom it.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Thursday haiku

The young landscaper
frustrated his boss, buying
all grass by the yard

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Wednesday haiku

An apple a day
keeps the doctor away, and
the growers happy

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Tuesday haiku

Anxiety dream-
Missed my flight. I'm awake now,
so I'll be early

Monday, January 25, 2016

Monday haiku

When the little blue
pill's stock starts to plummet, they
say Viagra falls

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Weekend haiku

He tried to write from
his father's perspective, but
he disliked the view 

------------------------------- 

We were like two ships
that passed in the night, if one
of those ships can't swim

Friday, January 22, 2016

Friday haiku

He didn't want to
demonize his father, since
demons aren't that bad

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Thursday haiku

As a child, T.J.
swallowed five bucks in quarters.
He now dislikes change

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Wednesday haiku

You're born, you die, that's
life. What you do in-between
those is called living

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Tuesday haiku

Kath's retiring,
but it sure seems like she's got
plenty of tread left

Monday, January 18, 2016

Monday haiku

MLK Jr.
would be proud of Barack, and
sad about Cosby

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Weekend haiku

Jill could sing like a
bird, if that bird happened to
be a male snow goose 

---------------------------- 

The calendar thought
WTF stood for Wednesday,
Thursday and Friday

Friday, January 15, 2016

Friday haiku

Whenever he found
wrinkles in his writing, Bill
deployed irony

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Thursday haiku

To me, it was just
a pretty shell, but for the
crab, it was shelter

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Wednesday haiku

Universities:
For those who like to forget
real expensive facts

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Tuesday haiku

My wife and I passed
on starting a family
as we don't like kids

Monday, January 11, 2016

Monday haiku

Spring sunshine makes me
almost understand why I
suffer through winter

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Weekend haiku

Sitting near the cake,
without a bite, each breath was
sixteen calories

------------------------------- 

Like a warm spring snow,
apple petals falling, a
blizzard of blossoms

Friday, January 8, 2016

Friday haiku

April Fool's Day is
everyone's yearly chance to
be Republican

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Thursday haiku

A compost bin and
stairs taught Chris that even in
the Spring, leaves can fall

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Wednesday haiku

At the hospital,
Chris now knows to move compost
bin first, then fill it.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Tuesday haiku

In Australia, flies
are the national flower,
bird, tree and insect

Monday, January 4, 2016

Monday haiku

They don't get sick, but
meteorologists are
under the weather

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Weekend haiku

I don't want to spoil
the party, and I can't, I
wasn't invited 

------------------------ 

She may not be a
ten, but she's a solid six
on my Richter scale

Friday, January 1, 2016

Friday haiku

January 1st:
Yet it still feels, looks and smells
a lot like last year