Monday, December 31, 2018

Monday haiku

I'm guessing Adam 
was just the first to enjoy 
a great New Year's Eve

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Weekend haiku

Chips Ahoy cookies' 
name would make sense if they were 
sprinkled in sea salt 

-------------------------------------------- 

She really likes her 
Pinocchio vibrator 
in her Geppetto

Friday, December 28, 2018

Friday haiku

Since everyone I 
know will die someday, I choose 
eighty years from now

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Thursday haiku

Naked to the world, 
I find my poor banana 
is less a peeling

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Wednesday haiku

December Twenty- 
Sixth is the first day you can 
be naughty again

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Tuesday haiku

Santa bought a new 
home in Antarctica, so 
now he's bi-polar

Monday, December 24, 2018

Monday haiku

Santa knows if you're 
on the naughty list, you got 
your presents early

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Weekend haiku

Jill collects guano 
ceramics, as she misheard 
the phrase "Art Giclee" 

------------------------------- 

The white styrofoam 
container is the modern 
single man's dishes

Friday, December 21, 2018

Friday haiku

Kaitlin knows whiskey 
cures everything, except for 
alcoholism

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Thursday haiku

Some people say I'm 
more of the strong, silent type, 
but I'm not that strong

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Wednesday haiku

A flock of geese honk 
overhead, though unneeded, 
I'm not in their lane

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Tuesday haiku

Again, Jelly wins 
the condiment contest, but 
Jam is still seeded

Monday, December 17, 2018

Monday haiku

He can't fathom a 
future in which he can not 
look into her eyes

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Weekend haiku

Jesus was a laid 
back guy, rarely angry, in 
fact, only cross once 

-------------------------- 

When Lassie finds the 
cantaloupes, she discovers 
she's melancholy

Friday, December 14, 2018

Friday haiku

The Cheeto-in-chief 
is getting crushed by Mueller 
and soon will be dust

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Thursday haiku

Jesus would only 
order water, let it turn 
to wine on his lips

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Wednesday haiku

Red Bull may give you 
wings, but all it gives me is 
an upset stomach

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Tuesday haiku

I.R.S. returned 
my taxes, said that I need 
it more than they do

Monday, December 10, 2018

Monday haiku

I don't understand 
how Trump can chastise fake news 
while broadcasting it

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Weekend haiku

Bill wears loafers, and 
based on how much time he sits, 
that seems about right 

------------------------------------- 

Why did you ask my 
opinion when it's quite clear 
you didn't want it?

Friday, December 7, 2018

Friday haiku

There's smoke in the air, 
a fire somewhere, I swear 
it might be my hair

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Thursday haiku

Julie calls all her 
co-workers barn animals, 
and she's the farmer

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Wednesday haiku

I do prefer smoked 
oysters, but they don't fit in 
the rolling papers

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Tuesday haiku

Odessa's mom is 
retiring, so her new 
job is Odessa

Monday, December 3, 2018

Monday haiku

For Bill, Julie's a 
little bit of sunshine who 
goes down every night

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Weekend haiku

While moving his home, 
the big wreck caused many dents 
in his residence 

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She may now live in 
a small town, but still keeps her 
big city inside