Monday's Haiku

She called me a sex
fiend, as an insult, as if
it is a bad thing

Weekend Haiku's

Stains on your shirt are
a reminder you have not
perfected eating

----------------------

I'd be less upset
about the food stain on my
shirt, if I'd liked lunch

Friday's Haiku

The storm brought enough
snow to just lightly coat the
emerald city white

Thursday's Haiku

What's the use of snow
if schools are open and you
can't make good snowballs?

Wednesday's Haiku

I've been sleeping like
a baby, up every
few hours, crying

Tuesday's Haiku

When the train comes in,
it's the one time people are
fine being off-track

Monday's Haiku

I would like Warren
Buffet or Bill Gates more if
I was in their wills

Weekend Haiku's

Whenever you see
flashing lights behind you, it's
already too late

---------------------

Whenever you see
flashing lights behind you, don't
pretend to be drunk

Friday's Haiku

I can't do laundry,
yard work, dishes, or my chores.
I gave blood today

Thursday's Haiku

His reflection did
remind him of his father,
but much, much younger

Wednesday's Haiku

I'd like to have a
glass of Sauvignon Blanc, but
my eyes are all red

Tuesday's Haiku

Candy is a nice
"I love you" gift, unless they
are diabetic

Valentine's Day Haiku

Here's a few haiku for Valentine's Day:

Trust me here, just say,
"Happy Valentine's Day," don't
say, "Happy V.D."

-----------------------------

Valentine's Day is
the time to say, "I love you,"
even if you don't.

-----------------------------

On Valentine's Day,
it is okay to say that
you have a heart on.

Weekend Haiku's

Here's a double shot for the weekend:

A new girlfriend won't
solve your problems, but she might
help you forget them

----------------------------------

A new girlfriend should
be loudly celebrated,
unless you're married

Friday's Haiku

I'd sing a quick song
about two thousand pounds, but
I'm really ton-deaf

Thursday's Haiku

A new girlfriend is
really the adult version
of a do-over

Wednesday's Haiku

He thought he hid his
aggravation behind his
smile, but his teeth showed.

Tuesday's Haiku

Blue sky, sunshine, I
woke her with, "Carpe Rainier,"
or, "Seize the mountain."

Monday's Haiku

The Super Bowl is
the one time each year that we'll
watch the commercials

Weekend Haiku's

Here's a couple silly ones for the weekend:

Richard lasted just
thirty seconds in bed, which
is his new record

-------------------

Richard lasted just
thirty seconds in bed, which
is so all her fault

Friday's Haiku

After you have a
cold, everyone blames you when
they go and get sick

Thursday's Haiku

For men, snow's like a
penis: we like bragging on
the inches we got

Wednesday's Haiku

The doghouse is seen
as punishment, but the dog's
happy to see me

Tuesday's Haiku

Contractions help to
combine words or tell you that
the baby's coming