Monday haiku

With planning all the  

details, Bill finds vacations  

 to be too much work

Weekend haiku

There is no more an  

efficient alarm clock than  

a happy toddler  

------------------------------  

The narcoleptic  

drank away his worries by  

hitting the Snooze Bar

Friday haiku

If you smoke too much  

marijuana in your tent,  

the stakes will be high

Thursday haiku

Wes had to get rid  

of the wasps in his home, he  

couldn't let them bee

Wednesday haiku

Billy wants to join  

the anti-letter group, but  

they're so dismissive

Tuesday haiku

Bill is so unique  

with writing letters, he puts  

his own stamp on them

Monday haiku

Brendan wants to go  

to the Haiku Convention,  

but it's short notice

Weekend haiku

Later in marriage,  

you see her undies only  

when you fold laundry  

----------------------------  

She laughs out loud when  

he uses the Golem voice.  

It's just so precious!

Friday haiku

The refracted light  

put a rainbow in my eye,  

my head the treasure

Thursday haiku

The lottery's for  

folks bad at math, but hope their  

funds will multiply

Wednesday haiku

The lottery is  

for folks bad at math, but are  

still fond of dreaming

Tuesday haiku

Reading history  

about poets, how their lives  

went from bad to verse

Monday haiku

Her lips were so plump,  

it looked like she'd kissed the butts  

of multiple bees

Weekend haiku

Watching Buffy the  

Vampire Slayer reruns,  

I know what's at stake  

--------------------------  

All the grasshoppers  

have left my yard in protest;  

all the grass is brown

Friday haiku

Stung by multiple  

bees, I carry epi-pens,  

and don't go near hives

Thursday haiku

The surgeon hummed "First  

Cut is the Deepest" during  

Bill's vasectomy

Wednesday haiku

Based on their jingle,  

Bill's nickname is "Mounds" after  

his vasectomy

Tuesday haiku

Not sure if he'd feel  

it, post-vasectomy, Bill  

felt the deferens

Monday haiku

While most surgeries  

are fair game, vasectomies  

are below the belt

Weekend haiku

The heat relenting,  

a breeze rustles the trees, and  

I can breathe again  

----------------------------------  

A mouth opened up  

near my ribs, the doctor said  

there'd be side effects

Friday haiku

The shadow of a  

bird overhead means more to  

a mouse than a man

Thursday haiku

It's so hot outside,  

the outdoor thermometer  

display just says, "BROIL"

Wednesday haiku

Her anger hiding  

behind her smile, it should be  

a concealed weapon

Tuesday haiku

She hugs a bag of  

potato chips from her home  

state, so far away

Monday haiku

With friends and family  

so far away, now her heart  

is no longer here