Tuesday haiku

I've abandoned far 
more haiku in my sleep than 
most people will read

Monday haiku

I'm having dinner 
with friends, well not quite friends, but 
co-workers at least

Weekend haiku

Most pumpkins prefer 
Halloween, the one time of 
year they find their smile 

------------------------------- 

When the smart man's brain 
misfired, they said it was 
a stroke of genius

Friday haiku

Dentists can be loud, 
boisterous, unruly, crude, 
but mostly mouthy

Thursday haiku

Giving is better 
than receiving, though neither 
can beat returning

Wednesday haiku

As the fridge hums and 
tree lights glisten, I give her 
my Christmas pickle

Tuesday haiku

Tracking Santa's ride, 
Billy hopes there will be some 
presents left for him

Monday haiku

Jill's dentist told her 
she needed a crown, but she 
wants a tiara

Weekend haiku

The visit to his 
dentist wasn't amusing, 
but still a drill ride 

-------------------------- 

Driving towards my 
dentist, I wasn't surprised 
that there was a bridge

Friday haiku

Dentists promise to 
tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and 
nothing but the tooth

Thursday haiku

Julie talks so much, 
she wound up dislocating 
her tongue seven times

Wednesday haiku

Sometimes a woman 
prefers the company of 
anyone but you

Tuesday haiku

We didn't make the 
yuletide gay, as the yuletide 
had been born that way

Monday haiku

Stuart is smiling 
at work, so all of us know 
something isn't right

Weekend haiku

Printed on her lunch 
bag is one word, "Sorry", so 
her hopes are not high 

----------------------------------- 

Barry, The Dewey 
Decimal System isn't 
for measuring rain

Friday haiku

Brendan needs to stop 
watching Fox News, unless he 
likes scary movies

Thursday haiku

Flat Earthers, besides 
being paranoid, are just 
real bad at marbles

Wednesday haiku

When you go camping, 
it's not about the structure, 
it's more the in tent

Tuesday haiku

Conference call in 
one minute, he has to pee, 
either late or wet

Monday haiku

Coffee mug full of 
cold tea, probably due to 
false advertising

Weekend haiku

Sometimes, headaches and 
colds are God's way of telling 
you, "slow the fuck down!" 

---------------------------------- 

She points to her brain, 
asks, "What's cooking?" I reply, 
"Depends. Mine or yours?"

Friday haiku

Sharon looks through the 
obituaries, searching 
for her ex-boyfriends

Thursday haiku

The older I get, 
the more each afternoon feels 
like I need a nap

Wednesday haiku

His seminar on 
successful seminars was 
under attended

Tuesday haiku

Salt shaker in the 
rain, the pepper grinder sits 
safe inside, laughing

Monday haiku

Nothing quite says a 
miserable vacation like 
palm trees in the rain

Weekend haiku

Thanksgiving Parade, 
Santa knows which balloons have 
been naughty or nice 

------------------------------------- 

Chris says he's, "living 
the dream", but will not confirm 
if it's a good one

Friday haiku

In the middle of 
the intersection, Julie 
seeks enlightenment

Thursday haiku

Christmas lights, music, 
ribbons, wrappings for weeks, 
today's Thanksgiving

Wednesday haiku

T'was the night before 
Thanksgiving, not a creature 
stirring... poor turkey

Tuesday haiku

My wife and her friends 
are talking about babies, 
get me out of here

Monday haiku

David Bowie's gone, 
and no longer creating 
music we can hear

Weekend haiku

I'm as shaky as 
a grove of Aspen trees in 
a very stiff breeze 

------------------------------ 

Fragile flowers in 
a foreign field find they can't 
flourish forever

Friday haiku

While a butterfly 
flits in Kansas, a teacup 
shatters in Taiwan

Thursday haiku

Robinson's losing 
his hair to radiation, 
but keeping his brain

Wednesday haiku

Nothing quells upset 
stomachs like sashimi, or 
maybe causes them

Tuesday haiku

I promise you, I 
haven't had a drink since the 
one I just finished

Monday haiku

The yellowjackets, 
so desperate as the wind 
chills, fly frantically

Weekend haiku

Culture Club released 
a new album, Boy George's 
music trans mission 

--------------------------------- 

The cruelty and 
pettiness in her heart far 
outweighed her beauty

Friday haiku

Slowly deflating, 
he tried to write poetry 
on his sleeping pad

Thursday haiku

I'm disappointed 
by my all-season tent, it's 
missing Rosemary

Wednesday haiku

We destroy nature, 
then drive hours just to find 
some sections unspoiled

Tuesday haiku

It's not Italian 
or Mexican, most folks think 
the best food is free

Monday haiku

I just can't see the 
invisible woman as 
a solid mother

Weekend haiku

Seeing co-workers 
at a beer festival tells 
me, "Don't drink too much" 

------------------------------------ 

They brought in chili 
dogs for lunch, good thing the phones 
aren't smell-o-vision

Friday haiku

Like a centerfold, 
Bobby wears a staple in 
his belly button

Thursday haiku

If you don't want kids, 
you likely shouldn't marry 
on a Labor Day

Wednesday haiku

I know I married 
the right gal when fifty bucks 
spent is expensive

Tuesday haiku

We are blessed to be 
here, on this coast, with friends and 
this bottle of wine

Monday haiku

After leaving the 
Supreme Court, she's now evil, 
Darth Bader Ginsburg

Weekend haiku

His vehicle ran 
on coffee and chocolate sauce, 
it was a mochar 

---------------------------------- 

Leading the Empire 
has given him cancer, so 
he's now Chemo Ren

Friday haiku

We fight about my 
vegetable consumption, she 
cries, "Give peas a chance"

Thursday haiku

Bill got in trouble 
going skinny dipping in 
his office van pool

Wednesday haiku

She does six thousand 
crunches every day, if you 
count potato chips

Tuesday haiku

When the Cheeto's gone, 
many Republicans will 
have dusty fingers

Monday haiku

The concert sounded 
like blasphemy to me, a 
sextet in a church

Weekend haiku

Growing up in a 
family of cellists, there were 
always strings attached 

--------------------------------- 

No matter how full 
the orchestra, there's always 
room for a cello

Friday haiku

I said I'd love her 
forever, but I didn't 
know how long that is

Thursday haiku

I said, "Til death do 
us part", but I'm starting to 
pray for heart disease

Wednesday haiku

Mick Jagger has made 
love to anything that moves, 
and a few that don't

Tuesday haiku

For stunts, Keith Richards 
body double happens to 
be the Cryptkeeper

Monday haiku

She was rubbing her 
hands together, so lotion   
or an evil plot

The Drought is over!

Hey All!  After five weeks of vacation, the blog is back, with daily haikookies coming your way.  Thanks to all those who have been following this blog all this time.  You are a small and mighty group, and I thank you for your support.

Hiatus

Hey All!  Just a quick note that after all these years, never missing a day, I'm taking a hiatus for about 4 weeks or so, with maybe an intermittent post, but not a daily one.  Thanks to all those who have been following me and reading these sill haikookies.  You are appreciated!

Friday haiku

Summer rainstorms tell 
you which folks in the crowd are 
not from Washington

Thursday haiku

Faux Elvis singing 
"It's Late" to a cheering crowd, 
it's not even noon.

Wednesday haiku

Celebrate rocks, as 
we don't want them to think we 
take them  for granite

Tuesday haiku

Teasing me about
my complete lack of rhythm's
unkind during sex

Monday haiku

She wanted a view 
of mountains, but could only 
afford a photo

Weekend haiku

They had alcohol, 
drugs and guns in their car, the 
jail time trifecta 

-------------------------------------- 

If Bill's in a suit, 
it's either an interview 
or a funeral

Friday haiku

The Senior Center 
has been designated a 
Summer cooling zone

Thursday haiku

Chicago used to 
be a hell of a town, but 
now it is just hell

Wednesday haiku

At a law firm, your 
name is safest when it comes 
past the ampersand

Tuesday haiku

With all the morning 
possibilities, sometimes 
it's overwhelming

Monday haiku

I find it strange we 
celebrate Labor Day by 
not doing labor

Weekend haiku

Horizontal stripes 
could be seen as slimming if 
they were vertical 

-------------------------------- 

Tall grass to a child 
is a playground, a fort, a 
hiding place, a home

Friday haiku

Julie would spend much 
more time outdoors, if Billy 
would just stay inside

Thursday haiku

Julie would spend much 
more time outdoors if it had  
air conditioning

Wednesday haiku

Julie would spend much 
more time outdoors if she could 
put a roof on it

Tuesday haiku

The cat keeps grooming 
herself, which is truly the 
paws that refreshes

Monday haiku

Women have found they 
don't need the whole pig to get 
a little sausage

Weekend haiku

To really mess with 
a millennial, write them 
letters, in cursive 

----------------------------- 

The sun arrives in 
our camp like a long, lost friend, 
though a little late

Friday haiku

Millennials are 
our future, so may God have 
mercy on our souls

Thursday haiku

Trump doesn't have a 
pet, which surprises me, as 
I hear he grabs cats

Wednesday haiku

Trump doesn't have a 
dog, since he rents the doghouse 
as a Trump Tower

Tuesday haiku

Head bowed, before their 
lunch, as if in prayer, just 
looking at their phones

Monday haiku

She dances against 
the rhythm, at least the one 
the rest of us hear

Weekend haiku

Time is a subtle 
poison slowly killing us 
one day at a time 

------------------------------ 

Astrophysicists 
greet each other, saying, "What's 
the matter with you?"

Friday haiku

When you're dancing to 
the music in your heard, you're 
always in rhythm

Thursday haiku

At the nursing home, 
everyone looks like they are 
searching for agates

Wednesday haiku

Interspecies love 
on display: Kat gives bear hugs 
to our stuffed wombat

Tuesday haiku

The dowager's less 
dour by the hour, thanks 
to Pisco Sours

Monday haiku

Trump's immigration 
policy works, creating 
lots more terrorists

Weekend haiku

The puppy howls, snarls, 
disobeys and bites, testing 
her skills, and owners 

----------------------------- 

Trump detains children, 
screams for a wall, while most of 
the threats were born here

Friday haiku

Kanye West, Jay-Z 
and Omar Epps star in the 
remake, "Ghostbustas"

Thursday's haiku

I heard Koko the 
Gorilla passed, now Trump is 
the last of his kind

Wednesday haiku

She giggles into
her hand, because using her
foot's not an option

Tuesday haiku

His unpleasantness 
is so toxic, he must bring 
his own Haz-Mat crew

Monday haiku

Getting hard-ons while 
sleeping on your side is like 
having a kickstand

Weekend haiku

The moon's acting full 
of itself, but it's just a 
phase it's going through 

------------------------------ 

No one stands straighter, 
or more awkwardly, then when 
their picture's taken

Friday haiku

I've found there's nothing 
sexy about wet kisses 
from sick eskimos

Thursday haiku

Eskimos may not 
be serious gourmands, but 
they like seal-a-meal

Wednesday haiku

There's many firsts in 
life you'll never forget, but 
first birthday's not one

Tuesday haiku

New co-workers start 
Monday, fresh blood, which I guess 
makes me the stale blood

Monday haiku

Grey in the muzzle, 
Bowser's bones arthritic, his 
growl merely bark dust

Weekend haiku

Giuliani is 
in trouble with Trump, as he 
keeps telling the truth 

----------------------------------- 

Most dogs refuse to 
listen to the internet, 
mishearing "podcasts"

Friday haiku

Trump lies so often, 
so smooth, even the truth feels 
like fabrication

Thursday haiku

Hannibal didn't 
like starting projects, as he 
preferred Phoenician

Wednesday haiku

Zombie Valley Girl 
finally has a lot of 
brains, like totally

Tuesday haiku

My clown poems are 
short, so I can fit lots of 
them in a small space

Monday haiku

The information 
on blindness services is 
printed in large type

Weekend haiku

"I can't believe the 
professor gave me an F", 
she said testily 

----------------------------- 

"What do you mean you're 
all out of strawberry ice 
cream?", he asked coldly

Friday haiku

"Do you want to go 
have dinner at the Ram?", he 
asked her sheepishly

Thursday haiku

Under the bus stop 
canopy, folks huddle close, 
neighborhood stained glass

Wednesday haiku

My internal clock 
is off, I probably should 
not have swallowed it

Tuesday haiku

My internal clock 
is off, and my internal 
toothbrush is all frayed

Monday haiku

Winter's been holding 
on like a Republican 
holds on to his gun

Weekend haiku

Kendrick Lamar wins 
the Pulitzer Prize, all I 
keep thinking is, "Damn" 

----------------------------- 

Sunlight peeks through the 
windows, wanting to know why 
you are not outside

Friday haiku

Elevator doors 
firmly closed, while someone else 
goes where I should be

Thursday haiku

I doubt I'll ever 
see anything as green as 
an uneasy frog

Wednesday haiku

George is named after 
Sesame Street elephant, 
Stephanopoulos

Tuesday haiku

Anita said I 
looked different somehow, as if 
I was deep in thought

Monday haiku

When describing a 
woman, "bad ass" is fine, but 
don't pause inbetween

Weekend haiku

The final haiku 
in this book will be epic, 
or perhaps just this 

------------------------------ 

The baby seal likes 
to dance to loud music, but 
really hates the club

Friday haiku

The sun shines each time 
she smiles, or maybe it's the 
other way around

Thursday haiku

The best fireworks 
are always sold by the man 
missing three fingers

Wednesday haiku

He wanted to be 
her hero, but was happy 
with just being hers

Tuesday haiku

A good friend explained 
the word "terrene", and it has 
meant the world to me

Monday haiku

The toilet seat is 
one place you never want to 
think, "Mmm, warm and moist"

Weekend haiku

I'm not one of the 
regulars here, I must be 
an irregular 

-------------------------- 

Trump's presidency 
may be finally destroyed 
by one Stormy night

Friday haiku

The rooster knows I 
had chicken for dinner, smells 
satay on my breath

Thursday haiku

The only people 
who say, "I'm not stalking you",   
tend to be stalkers

Wednesday haiku

With all the drugs Bill 
has taken, his grave will be 
a toxic waste site

Tuesday haiku

Count Dracula found 
poo in his casket, and he 
went bat shit crazy

Monday haiku

Carmen Miranda 
was a great dancer, but a 
real fruit basket case

Weekend haiku

Every employee 
at Foot Locker waits for the 
other shoe to drop 

_______________________ 

Imelda Marcos 
spent her days wishing for the 
other shoe to drop

Friday haiku

Someone just explained 
the word "amnesia", but I 
don't remember who

Thursday haiku

Guns don't kill people, 
people kill people, with guns, 
most efficiently

Wednesday haiku

Some days we give it 
our all, while other days it's 
sweat pants and Cheeto's

Tuesday haiku

I'm an introvert 
and a vegetarian, 
I avoid all meet

Monday haiku

Strangely, every dog 
in the city went to the 
cat house down the street

Weekend haiku

The most underused 
emotion in our daily 
life is empathy 

___________________ 

Bill's not unhealthy, 
but he does wear an I.V. 
bag full of gravy

Friday haiku

I got stoned once, but 
only because Bob Dylan 
said that I had to

Thursday haiku

Procrastination: 
A Step by Step Guide. Step One: 
Don't read this right now

Wednesday haiku

I thought all flowers 
were my friends, but soon found some 
were anemones

Tuesday haiku

In a string quartet, 
that is an awful lot of 
hands on just one string

Monday haiku

Seattle's constant 
gray skies means never having 
to say you're sunny

Wekend haiku

An early morning 
ferry crossing, shrouded in 
fog, the islands call 

--------------------------------- 

I watch the ferry 
crossing the sound, wishing I 
had bought a ticket

Friday haiku

Washington Ferries 
on the Sound, silently whisk 
me away from here

Thursday haiku

For Republicans, 
gun control is aiming the 
rifle with both hands

Wednesday haiku

She browses through the 
magazines, hoping just one 
will be about her

Tuesday haiku

The stamp on every 
single wrist of this huge crowd 
all read, "original"

Monday haiku

Letting the words blur, 
blending slowly together 
until they make sense

Weekend haiku

Bill liked to play pool,
but he kept losing billiard
balls in the deep end

---------------------------------

The old musician
moved back and forth in his chair,
rocker to the end

Friday haiku

She kissed him goodbye, 
knowing he would forever 
be there on her lips

Thursday haiku

Kids practice Kung-Fu 
in back, while it's the poets 
who are offensive

Wednesday haiku

Jack Spratt could eat no 
fat, or gluten, in fact he's 
quite intolerant

Tuesday haiku

Sunshine in Winter 
is a trailer for a film 
you can't wait to see

Monday haiku

Inchworm, measuring
the marigolds, trying to
stay away from feet

Weekend haiku

Mary had a little 
lamb, even though she is a 
vegetarian 

--------------------------------- 

Three blind mice, three blind 
mice, see how they run, because 
they're not able to

Friday haiku

Humpty Dumpty had 
a great fall, and his summer 
was pretty decent

Thursday haiku

Humpty Dumpty loves 
Winter, Spring and Summer, but 
he'd rather skip Fall

Wednesday haiku

Alice Cooper got 
his name from a Ouija board, 
mine is Letme Out

Tuesday haiku

Alice Cooper got 
his name from a Ouija board, 
mine is Qwadlbic

Monday haiku

Over thirty years 
of marriage just goes to prove 
how patient she is

Weekend haiku

I want to be done 
with doctors, but I know this 
is just beginning 

------------------------------- 

I made a phone call, 
then I made it whimper, beg 
and use it's safe word

Friday haiku

I agreed to try 
yoga, but then found there's no 
fruit at the bottom

Thursday haiku

Dying mystery 
writers are ready as they 
have laid out their plots

Wednesday haiku

Looking up, watching 
the snow fall, because looking 
down doesn't make sense

Tuesday haiku

It's my birthday, so 
today's haiku can have as 
many syllables as I damn well please, so there!

Monday haiku

I think the D.C. 
in our nation's capitol 
stands for "Dirty Cash"

Weekend haiku

It's not Cancer! Since 
there's two lumps, doctor says it 
must be Gemini 

____________________________ 

I think the D.C. 
after Washington must stand 
for "Dickhead Central"

Friday haiku

True love is never 
having to say, "Sure, let's watch 
Fifty Shades of Grey"

Thursday haiku

Lying down naked, 
Bill had misheard that Jill had 
a message for him

Wednesday haiku

What did the iceberg 
say when the Titanic hit? 
"Unsinkable?  HA!"

Tuesday haiku

A haircut may not 
make me a new man, but it 
sure in hell can't hurt

Monday haiku

Standing behind the 
vehicle, Bill was doing 
exhaustive research

Weekend haiku

Trump's half right, while fake 
news is indeed real, not all 
the real news is fake 

---------------------------------- 

Sitting in darkness, 
the Senators were ready 
to be enlightened

Friday haiku

For lunch, they take a 
break from their computers by 
staring at their phones

Thursday haiku

With all its stories 
on Trump, the paper's called "The 
Washington Compost"

Wednesday haiku

While the elephant 
was all ears, the girl giraffe 
just wanted to neck

Tuesday haiku

Don't tell secrets in 
the cornfield, Annie, as they 
tend to be all ears

Monday haiku

Bill was sitting on 
his Nintendo, so he was 
on top of his game

Weekend haiku

Sixty is not the 
new forty; for you, it's more 
the new seventy 

----------------------------------- 

Sixty is so close 
to retirement, and yet 
still so far away

Friday haiku

Surprisingly, the 
show, "The Seven Deadly Wastes" 
didn't include Bill

Thursday haiku

Sitting by yourself, 
you're only alone if you 
don't hear the voices

Wednesday haiku

The European 
Union and Great Britain fight 
over Scotch whiskey

Tuesday haiku

While Theresa May's 
country plans stall, her career 
heads for the Brexit

Monday haiku

For this Halloween, 
Theresa May dresses up 
as the Brexorcist

Weekend haiku

Theresa May sings 
a Marvin Gaye cover song, 
"Brexual Healing" 

----------------------------------- 

Theresa May sings 
a Rod Stewart cover, "Do 
You Think I'm Brexy?"

Friday haiku

Theresa May knows 
what she wants for dinner and 
lunch, but not Brexit

Thursday haiku

For Theresa May, 
the crisis in Britain has 
turned Brexistential

Wednesday haiku

Theresa May found 
most the men in Parliament 
to be Brexist pigs

Tuesday haiku

Theresa May found 
her E.U. relationship 
purely Brexual

Monday haiku

Will anyone be 
the poster child of Brexit? 
Oh, Theresa may.

Weekend haiku

Florida, like the 
Brady Bunch, is about marsh- 
a, marsh-a, marsh-as 

------------------------------------ 

Sitting by yourself, 
you're only alone if you 
don't hear the voices

Friday haiku

Scrappy Doo was just 
the animated canine 
Cousin Oliver

Thursday haiku

Admiral Ackbar, 
you found out celebrity 
is also a trap

Wednesday haiku

Will I write a new 
haiku near Haiku? Not now, 
Maybe to Maui

Tuesday haiku

Billy's so mellow, 
he's the calm before, during, 
and after the storm

Monday haiku

Her knitted cap looked 
like ice cream with sprinkles, she 
wears it on Sundays

Weekend haiku

OMG, waiting 
4 my EKG 2 C 
F I M OK 

_______________ 

My favorite punchline 
to a joke I haven't heard 
is, "Beach or pupil?"

Friday haiku

I've been told there are 
times when words aren't enough, I 
haven't been there yet

Thursday haiku

Cat scampers, bats toys, 
meows, pounces only while 
I'm trying to sleep

Wednesday haiku

My lazy cat moves 
fastest those times she hears her 
dinner being made

Tuesday haiku

She wears a long, red 
coat, like Red Riding Hood, while 
I'm dressed like Grandma

Monday haiku

Every kind of 
footwear is a snowshoe in 
Alaskan winters

Weekend haiku

Billy Joel drove his 
career far better than he 
drove his vehicles 

---------------------------- 

Elton John found he 
had far fewer freedoms in 
Philadelphia

Friday haiku

Alice Merton, your 
home having roots is only 
good for a treehouse

Thursday haiku

Alice Merton may 
not have them, but her song has 
roots in Eighties Pop

Wednesday haiku

Sam Cooke knows he loves 
you, but he's badly failing 
all of his classes

Tuesday haiku

Bruno Mars sings like 
Sam Cooke, but then lives his life 
much less soulfully

Monday haiku

Slogan for the new 
Sam Cooke Diaper Service, "A 
Change is Gonna Come!"

Weekend haiku

Hey, Rod Stewart, I 
don't think you are sexy, well 
maybe a little 

-------------------------------- 

Rod Stewart's leaving 
his body to science to 
see why it's sexy

Friday haiku

Rod Stewart found that 
most girls wouldn't put out, but 
he heard Maggie may

Thursday haiku

Cyndi Lauper says, 
"Girls just wanna have fun, and 
a few more hit songs"

Wednesday haiku

Her hair dyes fading, 
Cyndi Lauper's true colors 
are now shining through

Tuesday haiku

Cyndi Lauper grew 
tired of singing the same 
song time after time

Monday haiku

Sam Smith's falsetto 
is less nails on a chalkboard, 
more nails in my brain

Weekend haiku

Two more co-workers 
announce they are leaving, while 
my boss cries softly 

------------------------------------ 

On this dark, storm cloud 
day, the one silver lining... 
oh wait, that's lightning

Friday haiku

I spin my web of 
poetry. hoping to catch 
small morsels of wit

Thursday haiku

It is March fourteenth, 
unofficially Pi(e) day. 
May yours be fruitful!

Wednesday haiku

Colonoscopies: 
God's reminder things can go 
in that hole as well

Tuesday haiku

Flying for seven 
days without sleeping makes one 
week for traveling

Monday haiku

Colonoscopies: 
God's reminder of your age, 
and which foods you crave

Weekend haiku

On a diet, he 
tried to fill up by reading 
the menu slowly 

------------------------------- 

That scarecrow is great, 
and a truly outstanding 
figure in his field

Friday haiku

The golden light of 
evening always will beat the 
bronze light of morning

Thursday haiku

At the dentist, for 
a cleaning, and to make sure 
the fangs are still sharp

Wednesday haiku

The lobster only 
eats crab meat, never sharing, 
because he's shellfish

Tuesday haiku

This is a haiku 
placeholder, just filling in 
until tomorrow

Monday haiku

For Thanksgiving, she 
was left with just the turkey 
neck; she's not thankful

Weekend haiku

Carrying the weight 
of the world on her shoulders 
sure beats pushing it 

---------------------------------- 

A potluck dinner 
is botulism roulette; 
Do you feel lucky?

Friday haiku

Chickens tend to be 
skittish, but they know how to 
egg each other on

Thursday haiku

Most bars know that we 
need more than one hour to 
get happy again

Wednesday haiku

Her resolution 
was to absolve her sins, and 
strengthen her resolve

Tuesday haiku

I will keep writing 
poetry until there's no  
more words inside me

Monday haiku

I will keep writing 
poetry as long as I 
have a working pen

Weekend haiku

Migraines are proof that 
I really do have a brain 
and it's unhappy 

---------------------------- 

Happy hours are 
rarely just an hour, and 
most folks aren't happy

Friday haiku

For those that don't know 
the difference between genres, 
it's Sci-Fintasy

Thursday haiku

The line blurred between 
cynical and serious, 
Bill's now cynirous

Wednesday haiku

I declined to watch 
my colonoscopy as 
I hate bad sci-fi

Tuesday haiku

Ultrasound on my 
head to see if I am more 
human or scarecrow

Monday haiku

I'm consciously self 
conscious that my conscious self 
is now unconscious

Weekend haiku

Valentine's Day is 
when you profess your love, or 
wish they'd fry in hell 

------------------------------------ 

Snowfall, like family, 
is best when it doesn't stay, 
or linger too long

Friday haiku

Sometimes, writing is 
just letting the words dictate 
where they want to go

Thursday haiku

Karate students 
make a bit more cash when they 
practice Tai-kwan-dough

Wednesday haiku

If you don't know if 
you are coming or going, please 
use the urinal

Tuesday haiku

Uncomfortable 
in the spotlight, she prefers 
to help aim the beam

Monday haiku

There are plenty who 
will want to demolish your 
self worth, don't help them

Weekend haiku

Her father gone, her 
mother gone, she now holds her 
sisters much closer 

---------------------------------------- 

Biggest snowfall here 
in decades is a winter 
day in the Midwest

Friday haiku

My red coat was the 
wrong choice for today's Civil 
War reenactment 

Thursday haiku

The Keystone pipeline 
is already leaking like 
all their promises

Wednesday haiku

Bill says he's not an 
introvert, he just doesn't 
like many people

Tuesday haiku

2019 is 
the year of the pig, which is 
some good news for Trump

Monday haiku

Forgetting all the 
details could lead Trump to one 
term memory loss

Weekend haiku

The moral high ground 
seems to be getting closer 
to being submerged 

---------------------------- 

From the moral high 
ground to treading water in 
just one news cycle

Friday haiku

No, you can't have a 
bite of my sandwich, it's a 
Banh Mi, not Banh Yu

Thursday haiku

I think Alyssa 
Milano's one sweet cookie! 
I know, crumby joke

Wednesday haiku

Billy likes to take 
calculated risks, but he's 
really bad at math

Tuesday haiku

Sometimes you find you're 
much better off staying home 
and eating ice cream

Monday haiku

Space Cows: the question 
is in outer space, can the 
farmers hear you cream?

Weekend haiku

If God is such a 
wonderful co-pilot, why 
is there GPS? 

----------------------------- 

The internet is 
a dark whore, where you'll get screwed 
and need a shower

Friday haiku

It's great that God's your 
co-pilot, but you need a 
guidance counselor

Thursday haiku

If art is in the 
eye of the beholder, then 
Bobby needs new eyes

Wednesday haiku

For many of us, 
it's a fine, fine line between 
dancing and seizure

Tuesday haiku

According to the
accord for accordion
players, no more cords

Monday haiku

Martin's dream didn't 
include Trump as president, 
though his nightmares did

Weekend haiku

I'm saddest about 
the status of my lattice 
I got for gratis 

----------------------- 

No sex for Donald, 
as it's Melania who 
has put up a wall

Friday haiku

Cracks in the sidewalk 
drink up the rain, like tiny 
mouths thirsty for more

Thursday haiku

Satan's a pervert, 
the one thing on his dirty 
mind is sex, sex, sex

Wednesday haiku

Satan's cosmetic 
surgery went well, now he's 
a handsome devil

Tuesday haiku

My boss says waste is 
not good, but I think inseams 
are pretty evil

Monday haiku

We had an earthquake 
drill today; I wasn't scared, 
but I'm still shaking

Weekend haiku

We had a meeting 
on internal theft, as we 
are missing three spleens 

-------------------------------- 

Some say Time is a 
harsh mistress, but Parsley is 
no picnic either

Friday haiku

Michael threw himself 
off the building, wanting the 
ultimate mic drop

Thursday haiku

Bill is jealous of 
his computer, as it has 
much more memory

Wednesday haiku

The sheep decided 
to sell her computer, as 
she wanted more RAM

Tuesday haiku

Rock and Roll poet 
just wants to read odes, while the 
crowd shouts out, "Free Verse!"

Monday haiku

The blue sky is back, 
maybe just for a moment, 
so I embrace it

Weekend haiku

This morning's sunrise 
was all promise, no payoff, 
an ominous start 

----------------------------------- 

The Apple logo, 
with the bite out of it, leads 
me to Microsoft

Friday haiku

She really likes her 
Pinocchio vibrator, 
but wants a real boy

Thursday haiku

She really likes her  
Pinocchio vibrator,  
asking it to lie   

Wednesday haiku

She really likes her 
Pinocchio vibrator 
swallowed by her whale

Tuesday haiku

January 1st 
reminds me of that U2 
song, "Beautiful Day"