Friday's Haiku

The megaphone at
the writer's desk assisted
her with her volume

Thursday's Haiku

The gift of sidewalk
chalk made her giddy, so I
returned the diamond

Wednesday's Haiku

Viagra helps old
men have sex, acting as God's
invisible splint

Tuesday's Haiku

When she runs, that girl
jiggles more than a jello
bowl in an earthquake

Monday's Haiku

Poke fun of yourself,
because if you don't, someone
else most likely will

Weekend Haiku's

He asks her why she
doesn't blink during sex, she
replies, "There's no time" 

---------------------------- 

I have a lot of
sex, and I would have more, but
my hand gets tired

Friday's Haiku

He wears his hair long,
because girls like it and he
doesn't like scissors

Thursday's Haiku

Feathered's a pretty
good hairstyle, unless it looks
like a peacock's butt

Wednesday's Haiku

Classes in math and
spelling are for those kids that
are bad at P.E.

Tuesday's Haiku

I may not run or
jog, but I exercise my
brain every day

Monday's Haiku

My hair's not getting
grayer, the darker hair just
isn't returning

Weekend Haiku's

They will laugh at you,
so don't let it stop you, just
laugh along with them 

----------------------------- 

They will laugh at you,
so don't let it stop you, just
make fun of them first

Friday's Haiku

"I don't want to bug
you," is what they say before
thy start bugging you

Thursday's Haiku

He said he didn't
want to interrupt, but then
realized he did

Wednesday's Haiku

Afternoon meetings
are the true reason that God
created caffeine

Tuesday's Haiku

His Monday morning
pains remind him why he's too
old for the weekend

Monday's Haiku

I'd return to my
desk, except for the fact that
it's sunny out here

Weekend Haiku's

Sunburns remind you
of the main reason spray tans
are so popular 

--------------------------- 

Her hemline is short
enough to entice, yet just
long enough to tease

Friday's Haiku

The green grass of June
quickly turns and becomes the
brown grass of July

Thursday's Haiku

The Fourth of July
celebrates our freedom to
blow some shit up good

Wednesday's Haiku

It's okay to share
exactly how you feel with
us, unless you're sick

Tuesday's Haiku

I'd be happier
with where I stood, if it was
not in the corner

Monday's Haiku

Please don't tell me that
everything's running smoothly
when I see the bumps

Weekend Haiku's

They've been married so
long, they look related, which
I hope isn't true 

-------------------------------

In summer months, a
sweater vest is warm and lives
up to it's title

Friday's Haiku

The crow peruses
the picnic tables, hoping
for sloppy eaters

Thursday's Haiku

Sunburns remind you
that, despite their claims, there's no
such thing as sunblock