Tuesday's haiku

He'd talked so long, his
dinner got cold, but it was
salad, so it's fine

Monday's haiku

The item may have
been free, but there's always a
cost to owning it

Weekend haiku

For Trudy, multi-
tasking is looking good while
treating men like dirt 

---------------------------- 

Every year, month,
week, day and second are gifts.
Enjoy your presence

Friday's haiku

New Yorkers believe
that wherever you are from
just isn't as nice

Thursday's haiku

Nymphomaniacs
spend their whole lives willing to
give a piece a chance

Wednesday's haiku

After sex, the male
praying mantis is killed, which
sure beats cuddling

Tuesday's haiku

A female praying
mantis has the kindness to
not let him suffer

Monday's haiku

A true gentleman
doesn't ask her age, weight, or
why she's such a bitch

Weekend haiku

If life is a box
of chocolates, I should be
done with all the nuts 

----------------------------- 

If life is a box
of chocolates, I'm ready
to taste the creams now

Friday's haiku

With all of Jerry's
split personalities, he's
a full crowd of one

Thursday's haiku

Chad would consider
group travel, but he doesn't
like other people

Wednesday's haiku

For Lisa, camping
is a hotel that's just a
four star property

Tuesday's haiku

For Lisa, camping
is a hotel without room
service or valet

Monday's haiku

She'll kill you with a
quip or a bullet, she's the
sassy assassin

Weekend haiku

Arguing with Sue
is like washing dirty cars
in a hurricane 

------------------------------ 
She is so upbeat,
it's either just fake, or it's
chemically based

Friday's haiku

That girl is like a
cornstalk: tall, skinny and she
has really big ears

Thursday's haiku

I am so tired,
the word "Michelin" is now
tattooed on my butt

Wednesday's haiku

She doesn't know that
I exist, which is fine since
I created her

Tuesday's haiku

A used tissue may
not be evil, but it has
likely been snotty

Monday haiku

A rolling stone does
not gather moss, as Keith most
likely would smoke it

Weekend haiku

The denim wasn't
sad, per se, but it was most
definitely blue 

------------------------------------ 

When the coffee cup
spilled, the coffee didn't burn him,
as it was hot tea

Friday's haiku

His idea of
dressing up was to put on
a pair of new jeans

Thursday's haiku

She played the guitar
because she found pianos
were too darn heavy

Wednesday's haiku

Yes, the flag may be
faded, but it's still flying
high, and that's what counts

Tuesday's haiku

She brought her guitar
in just in the hopes that they
might ask her to sing

Monday's haiku

The gentlemen's club
is perfectly located
in the new strip mall