Monday's haiku

Jean wasn't a thief
of hearts, she gave them back once
she had destroyed them

Weekend haiku

The politician
may speak English, but it's a
different language 

--------------------------- 

His ponytail is
not out of place, since David
is a horse's ass

Friday's haiku

I just wanted to
hear what the politician
didn't want to say

Thursday's haiku

While some women break
men's hearts, Kelly pretends they're
fleshy pinatas

Wednesday's haiku

On her date, she tried
to make a joke, but he had
left his laugh at home

Tuesday's haiku

She believes dating
is the torture one endures
to find happiness

Monday's haiku

Immature, or too
mature, why can't she find one
guy who acts her age?

Weekend haiku

The big hairy guy
with the Marshall t-shirt just
looks totally amped 

---------------------------- 

Her date's idea
of having fun was working
on next year's taxes

Friday's haiku

I know it's cloudy,
but I'm sitting outside, this
may be our summer

Thursday's haiku

So when life throws you
lemons, just be glad it's not
rotten tomatoes

Wednesday's haiku

So when life throws you
lemons, she's just helping you
from getting scurvy

Tuesday's haiku

Being married at
the meat market, we felt like
vegetarians

Monday's haiku

The businessman
removes his jacket only
whenever he can

Weekend haiku

John wears a cape, not
because he's a hero, he
just looks good in it 

------------------------- 

That skinny girl with
the afro looks just like a
curly-haired dahlia

Friday's haiku

If the thunder clouds
are so dark, then why do they
always bring lightning?

Thursday's haiku

The train's whistle warns
you it's coming, or laughs at
you for missing it

Wednesday's haiku

Head tilted back, drool
on her chin, snoring softy,
she says she's awake

Tuesday's haiku

This has been one of
those days that's so bad, even
my shadow's dragging

Monday's haiku

The large hairy dude
holds a purple flowered pack.
He must have stole it

Weekend haiku

I'd offer to give
her a ride, but my mustache
has been spoken for

----------------------------

She said she couldn't
handle her liquor, I said
he needs bigger ears

Friday's haiku

I may not be built
for aerodynamics, but
I'm built for comfort

Thursday's haiku

I know I'm not a
bite size morsel; I'm more of
a five course dinner

Wednesday's haiku

My stomach's upset,
but I don't know who or what
has offended it

Tuesday's haiku

We're all the same when
we die, except some of us
need more pallbearers

Monday's haiku

After you mow, the
lawn looks like a giant pair
of corduroy pants