Wednesday's haiku

Bill wears fingerless
gloves, since he has no fingers,
because he's a duck

Tuesday's haiku

He slurps his soup so
loudly, I can almost taste
the chicken noodle

Monday's haiku

Before November
ends, Christmas ephemera
welcomes December

Weekend haiku

Oysters and shrimp don't
like to share, as they prefer
to just be shellfish 

------------------------------- 

When the turkey told
us, "Gobble! Gobble!" we did
just as we were asked

Friday's haiku

"Don't be down," she said.
"Thanks for the thought," I replied,
"But I am a goose."

Thursday's haiku

He wishes he was
taller, so he'd stop looking
people in the chin

Wednesday's haiku

Her depression is
not helped by a glass of wine,
as she drinks Merlot

Tuesday's haiku

It took less than an
hour for work to undo
vacation's sweet bliss

Monday's haiku

I'd be happier
with life if people didn't
depress me so much

Weekend haiku

My vacation may
not start until Sunday, but
mentally, I'm gone 

----------------------------- 

Winter sounds a lot
like vintner, which must be why
I drink more wine then

Friday's haiku

She looked so much like
my ex-wife Amy, I had
to give her half too

Thursday's haiku

Her hair was redder
than a New Hampshire maple
leaf in October

Wednesday's haiku

Anyone who says,
"Just being nominated
is nice," hasn't won

Tuesday's haiku

Winning this award
is a highlight of my life.
Now it's all downhill.

Monday's haiku

Our gym equipment's
so old, the bike machine is
a penny farthing

Weekend haiku

Cafeteria
lunch is a game of "Who do
I want to sit by?" 

--------------------------------- 

Embarrassment is
the one thing parents always
can give to their kids

Friday's haiku

Reasonable doubt
means a whole lot more to the
one who knows the truth

Thursday's haiku

Texting is for those
people who've always been told
that they are all thumbs

Wednesday's haiku

She was even more
beautiful for the fact she
didn't believe it

Tuesday's haiku

She nodded a lot,
as she liked to say "yes" and
enjoyed the rattle

Monday's haiku

She always squinted
at her child, as she'd been told,
"Don't stare at the son."

Weekend haiku

She predicted things
won't get any better and
she's proved herself right 

----------------------------- 

She squinted at Jim,
not wanting to take in his
brilliance all at once

Friday's haiku

Disappointed, Jane
had misread the mentoring
class as men touring

Thursday's haiku

"With all due respect"
seemingly always precedes
disrespectful things

Wednesday's haiku

The mastectomy
over, she now likes to wear
double-breasted suits

Tuesday's haiku

I've always wondered
how the potato keeps the
dirt out of it's eyes