Weekend haiku

Hey! No more talking
about Tom Brady's balls: flat,
full or otherwise 

--------------------------- 

The only thing that's
underinflated about
Brady is his balls

Friday haiku

His team is Super
Bowl bound, but his checking
account keeps him home

Thursday haiku

Cigar smoker drives
hybrid, now his emissions
are worse than the car

Wednesday haiku

Lisa's back is sore
from constantly turning it
on all of her friends

Tuesday haiku

I removed all the
cookies from my computer,
but not my diet

Monday haiku

While love is never
having to say you're sorry,
marriage is always

Weekend haiku

"Cunnilingus gave
me cancer," Mike said; it was
a slip of the tongue 

------------------------------- 

I removed all the
cookies from my computer;
it still runs crummy

Friday haiku

Her mother may not
have a license, but she can
drive Sheila to drink

Thursday haiku

Nobody wanted
to duel with whiskey, as
he was a good shot

Wednesday haiku

The bartender did
not want to serve the gun, but
he gave it a shot

Tuesday haiku

At the massage school,
Edward lays down first as it's
nice to be kneaded

Monday haiku

Theodore's sleeveless
sweater makes him secure, as
he is invested

Weekend haiku

At the cutlery
store, she's desperately in
need of a good fork 

------------------------------ 

When you come to a
fork in the road, look for the
knife and spoon to match

Friday haiku

She fondled her fork,
and it made all the other
cutlery jealous

Thursday haiku

Nobody has tried
her cherry pie, though most have
seen it on the sill

Wednesday Haiku

Mohammed seems nice
enough, but his team sure hates
the paparazzi

Tuesday haiku

Unfortunately
for my sister, each day in
our house, the son shines

Monday haiku

The sign read, "Training
Event in Session", but I
don't see any tracks

Weekend haiku

"Fuc" he yelled through his
bandages, and thus the start
of the Mummy's curse 

-------------------------------- 

John's so out of shape,
standing next to his car trunk,
he gets exhausted

Friday haiku

The squirrels scamper
about, not learning a thing
from the grasshopper

Thursday haiku

Every passing car
is disappointment on wheels
as I wait for her

Wednesday haiku

Long strands of spider
silk on the summer breeze all
seem to find my face

Tuesday haiku

After a long day
at work, Friday afternoon
sun feels like freedom

Monday haiku

Bit by a hippo,
he knew he now had the best
scar story ever

Weekend haiku

Customer service
at some businesses is just
a nice idea 

---------------------------- 

She tried to use her
eyes to tell him something that
her mouth just couldn't

Friday haiku

New Year's Day is the
time to look forward, not at
the past, like last night

New Year's Day haiku

New Year's Day is the
time to look forward, since you've
forgotten last night