Thursday haiku

She said I looked deep
in thought, but I was splashing
in the shallow end

Wednesday haiku

For dermabrasion,
I put tuna fish on my
face and call the cat

Tuesday haiku

When your life sucks, and
sometimes it will, make sure that
it also swallows

Monday haiku

If you keep looking
up, you're more likely to get
bird poop in your eye

Weekend haiku

A beer may not solve
any of your problems, but
it sure doesn't hurt 

--------------------------- 

Even when Sara
truly cares, it comes across
like she's faking it

Friday haiku

Even the worst weeks
can be made better by a
nice day on the lake

Thursday haiku

Empty buildings, where
businesses used to be, the
economy's better?

Wednesday haiku

Steve McQueen, riding
his bike over that wire, is
Tracey's great escape

Tuesday haiku

I asked God to grant
me serenity now, He
sent me the Blu-Ray

Monday haiku

Nathan decided
he liked his blue jackets, but
preferred his brown coats

Weekend haiku

Jill is so old, her
graduation invites came
by Pony Express 

--------------------------- 

Amelia Earhart,
though supposedly a nice
person, was flighty

Friday Haiku

Seven hundred bucks
later, his car was purring,
his wallet was not

Thursday haiku

She said, "I love you,"
but he didn't respond, since
he is a turtle

Wednesday haiku

Hard to trust a man
in a polyester suit,
false teeth and toupee

Tuesday haiku

He'd swapped his Cubans
for a pipe, and found it was
close but no cigar

Monday haiku

When asked how Bill had
amassed a fortune selling
screams, he said, "Volume!"

Weekend haiku

You can't suffocate
yourself with pillows, unless
you're real determined 

----------------------------- 

Martha's the only
one who thinks B.Y.O.B
means bring your own bike

Friday haiku

You're right, you could fry
an egg on the sidewalk, but
you have a stove, Dude

Thursday haiku

The noise children make
that freaks out parents the most
is complete silence

Wednesday haiku

Waiting for the phone
to ring, knows it's bad news, but
needing to hear it

Tuesday haiku

Sheila prefers girls,
as she'd rather have lovers
without a handle

Monday haiku

Sheila prefers girls,
as it gives her twice the soft
lips to kiss goodnight

Weekend haiku

Migraines getting worse,
but what is most unnerving
is the chewing sounds 

----------------------------- 

Sheila prefers girls,
as she's spent far too much time
dating all those dicks

Friday haiku

My attention span
may be getting worse, but I
think that cat is cute

Thursday haiku

Strangely enough, their
group is far, far lesser than
the sum of it's parts

Wednesday haiku

I have found potlucks
have far too little amounts
of pot and/or luck