Thursday haiku

If I close my eyes,
I can relax, but my wife
says, "No, you're driving"

Wednesday haiku

If I close my eyes,
it's almost as if Bill's not
here. Man, he hates that.

Tuesday haiku

If I close my eyes,
I can almost escape the
fact that you're not here

Monday haiku

If you choose to lie
to me, please don't use the tongue
you stuck in my mouth

Weekend haiku

Winter Solstice kicks
Christmas' butt, more daylight's
better than presents 

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Always preferring
the isle seat, Billy bought a
chair in Bermuda

Friday haiku

May all your Christmas
presents be worth almost as
much as your presence

Thursday haiku

So, I know about
Christmas Eve, but I don't know
when's Christmas Adam

Wednesday haiku

Jill's demeanor is
so uninviting, her smile's
an unwelcome mat

Tuesday haiku

The clothing tags that
state, "One size fits all" do not
apply to Kevin

Monday haiku

They say, Tomorrow's
a new day", but they're starting
to feel recycled

Weekend haiku

Personalities
like Jill's make birth control pills
unnecessary 

----------------------------- 

Marble mounds set in
ground, carved with words, rejoicing
the clouds free above

Friday haiku

Bobby found that he's
just flexible enough to
be hard on himself

Thursday haiku

Scientists claim we're
all part Neanderthal.  Bill's
way above average

Wednesday haiku

Scientists claim we're
all part Neanderthal, so
they've met my cousins

Tuesday haiku

Bill looks a bit like
a feral bulldog, and has
the same attitude

Monday haiku

The glasses have been
in that spot for a week now,
not my prescription

Weekend haiku

Her looks are severe,
like a tornado, but her
laugh's a gentle breeze

--------------------------- 

Having your Mom clean
your cheek with a spit wet thumb's
less fine at forty

Friday haiku

Judy aims to please.
I just wish, sometimes, she'd be
pointed towards me

Thursday haiku

In her eyes, I'm a
much better man than the one
I see in mirrors

Wednesday haiku

Sure, the grass may be
greener, but the fence is so
high, and electric

Tuesday haiku

She looks at me with
disdain, aghast I would dare
stand there in her sight

Monday haiku

Totally smitten,
she hoped T.J.'s initials
stood for "To Judy"

Weekend haiku

His cubicle felt
more and more like a cold, drab
emotionless hug 

--------------------------------- 

Suddenly sunny,
even the birds and squirrels
were blinking their eyes

Friday haiku

Wil's girlfriend found she's
gluten intolerant, and
can't ingest Wheaton

Thursday haiku

Seeking savory
snacks, Bill was hoping to make
his umami proud

Wednesday haiku

Adolph Hitler put
the dic in dictatorship
and in Eva Braun

Tuesday haiku

Dictatorships tend
to be best for the guy who
gets to be the dic