Weekend haiku

The priest, cleaning his
crucifix, wasn't angry,
but felt a bit cross

----------------------------

Dressed as Red Riding
Hood's nemesis, Megan found
she wolfed down her lunch

Friday haiku

So, the nominees
are Hillary and Donald:
Lady and the Trump

Thursday haiku

He saw her every
Spring, and like Daylight Savings
Time, he'd lose hours

Wednesday haiku

Midterms are teacher's
way of saying, "Just you wait
until the final!"

Tuesday haiku

The yellow lizard
doesn't hate all people, but
he's a bit jaundiced

Monday haiku

The man with two rear
ends isn't rude, but has a
definite bias

Weekend haiku

He's such a dirty
old man, he depicts all the
ladies in the lewd

------------------------------

Bill has Parkinson's,
so he ends all business
deals with a hand shake

Friday haiku

Donald Trump's now the  

Republican nominee  

I know that's not right

Thursday haiku

For the whole night of
lascivious poetry,
he wished for more girls

Wednesday haiku

He sits by himself,
as he's found it's better than
being rejected

Tuesday haiku

Jan always races
through all school zones, trying to
exercise those kids

Monday haiku

Jan always races
through all speed zones, trying to
get the highest score

Weekend haiku

The two crows, hanging
out nearby, were picked up for
attempted murder

------------------------------

Billy stopped counting
calories when he found out
the most doesn't win

Friday haiku

In the rain, coats on,
with their hoods up, everyone
looks like a conehead

Thursday haiku

Donald Trump's hairpiece 
is not so much a toupee, 
more like a too bad

Wednesday haiku

We all have our "Ramps
to Nowhere" that we learn from,
tear down, and rebuild

Tuesday haiku

Bouncing around the
office, perky, Jill needs to
lay off the caffeine

Monday haiku

My work day may be
over, but a cold beer is
still so far away

Weekend haiku

My favorite place
is anywhere that I can
be alone with you

----------------------

Watching everyone
leave, done with work, happy, I
almost want a job

Friday haiku

With these election 
candidates, I swear we must 
have broke a mirror

Thursday haiku

The quiet girl could
drink just half a beer, so she
prayed for more volume

Wednesday haiku

He never looks up
when he speaks, so it feels like
you're talking to hair

Tuesday haiku

No Jim, Ebola
is not the electronic
version of Bola

Monday haiku

Independence Day
should be more about freedom,
less about Will Smith

Weekend haiku

Our meeting now late,
the "p" in poetry sure
doesn't stand for prompt

---------------------------

His predilection
for poop jokes meant Bill put the
"p" in poetry

Friday haiku

The cleaning lady
needs to wash her eyes, giving
me such dirty looks