Friday haiku

For all decisions,
you should always err on the
side of the Aussie

Thursday haiku

Charlie Sheen's New Year's
resolution list is more
than sixty pages long

Wednesday haiku

In some towns, you can 
play Pokémon Ho, but be 
careful what you catch

Tuesday haiku

Hanging out near the
back of Jonathan's pickup,
Bill was exhausted

Monday haiku

Folks visiting, means
mornings without pajamas
is not optional

Weekend haiku

This late morning, I
feel more fuzzy-headed than
a Nepalese yak

---------------------------------

The six months between
her birthday and Christmas were
a true gift desert

Friday haiku

Colin Kaepernick
jerseys on sale (with purchase,  
you get free knee pads)

Thursday haiku

I'm so excited
to see and hear Ms. Parton,
I've got Dolly wood

Wednesday haiku

Based on the lack of 
human interaction, it 
sure ain't a "we" phone

Tuesday haiku

Brangelina split
Billy Bob and Jennifer
laugh and laugh and laugh

Monday haiku

There's no leftover
hominy for breakfast, so
she has no re-grits

Weekend haiku

Learning from it's past,
the leg bone vowed to follow
the straight and marrow

-----------------------------------

Despite common thought,
Bill did have two humerus
bones in his body

Friday haiku

After Julie's failed
suicide attempt, David
bought her a Nerf gun

Thursday haiku

Bill wanted to buy
stupid insurance, but the
premium's too high

Wednesday haiku

Starting a week back,
out with a weak back, laid flat,
now wants her week back

Tuesday haiku

Dieting, Bill vows
not to eat the cookies, just
the chocolate chips

Monday haiku

Big thrift store fans, my
folks hear, "Peace on earth, good will
to man" differently

Weekend haiku

Donald Trump's chances
of being president are
thinner than his hair

-------------------------

Trump's deportation
force surprisingly starts with
Rosie O'Donnell

Friday haiku

Janice must be a
heartbreaker, because she is
full of pettiness

Thursday haiku

"Don't drink alcohol
while using Lyrica,"  so
I said, "No thanks, Doc!"

Wednesday haiku

"Stop crying, you big
baby!" I tell myself each
and every workday

Tuesday haiku

Hoagy sandwiches,
one of only two foods you
can eat by the foot

Monday haiku

I was so hungry,
I ate my calendar, so
I filled up on dates

Weekend haiku

"Hey Hey Hey", now a
Fat Albert catchphrase, was his
greeting to Hey Hey

----------------------------------

Bill, "innuendo"
better not be code for the
position you used

Friday haiku

The picture perfect
sunsets always seem to be
obscured by buildings

Thursday haiku

In traffic behind
this Infiniti, it does
feel like forever