Monday haiku

Halloween is the
one day a year I can wear
pajamas at work

Weekend haiku

Her fascination
with the food chain would make more
sense in the jungle

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Puppies, kittens and
porn are the three main reasons
for the internet

Friday haiku

With each selfie, a
piece of our soul disappears
into our ego

Thursday haiku

My kids run outside,
bundled up, make snow angels,
laugh devilishly

Wednesday haiku

I've loved more girls that
I barely knew than the ones
I've known really well

Tuesday Haiku

Ten push-ups just so
happens to be ten more than
I've done since high school

Monday haiku

Library sex can
be found via the Do Me
Decimal System

Weekend haiku

Solo sex act in
the library, Professor
Plum wants to be next

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In picking up girls,
the body builder's also
good at the wench press

Friday haiku

If Trump can't be the 
President, is there a spot 
for an apprentice?

Thursday haiku

Caught in a solo
sex act in the library,
which class is she in?

Wednesday haiku

If you are tooting
your own horn, then you must be
really flexible

Tuesday haiku

Major storms back east,
almost two feet of snow, which
is why I live here

Monday haiku

This January,
sunshine just makes Spring feel that
much further away

Weekend haiku

Lemon water in
the morning gets my face set
up to kiss my wife

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When they make sweet love
in the ocean, she finds her
pleasure comes in waves

Friday haiku

It is best to not
look skyward in a winter
storm because rain drops

Thursday haiku

The only reason
men tend to wear full beards is
they dislike their face

Wednesday haiku

Julie always wears
a hat, like she is under
witness protection

Tuesday haiku

After a long week,
I am currently dragging
more than Dame Edna

Monday haiku

Sara has had so
many babies, her body
felt like a clown car

Weekend haiku

On a strict diet,
Jill can't even watch reruns
of Chips on T.V.

---------------------------

Driving a hybrid
vehicle doesn't make you
a better driver

Friday haiku

She's not attracted
to my Moe's or Larry's, but
she loves my Curly's

Thursday haiku

My bagel had a
fly baked in it, making it
more of a bugel

Wednesday haiku

Watching people walk
in the fog, I'm like a poor
man's Dian Fossey

Tuesday haiku

Our office is short
staffed, though we hope to hire
someone taller soon

Monday haiku

Chuck Norris doesn't
write haiku, he uses as
many syllables as he wants to, okay

Weekend haiku

While some folks are dog
whisperers, my friend Bill is
a dog shouterer

---------------------------------

Musical toothbrush
didn't teach my child to brush,
but she dances well