Friday haiku

They celebrate her
last day with nachos, which just
seems wrong and cheesy

Thursday haiku

In Quebec, Trump said, 
"yes!", mishearing the question, 
"Do you love poutine?"

Wednesday haiku

Bill is as useless
as a wiffle ball bat in
a game of tennis

Tuesday haiku

We're not questioning 
Trump's allegiances, just where 
he's been Putin them

Monday haiku

We are all just bags
of water, except Bill, he's  
a bag of warm beer

Weekend haiku

You can always tell
who has a concealed weapon
when cars backfire

---------------------------------

Going once or twice
a year, Bill is less gym rat,
more a gym groundhog

Friday haiku

Jill makes duck faces
in her photos as egret
faces just look weird

Thursday haiku

I keep a Zippo 
in my pocket, so I feel 
a little lighter

Wednesday haiku

Jill makes duck faces
in every single photo
because she's a duck

Tuesday haiku

Never easily 
impressed, Wes named his coffee 
company, "Well, Latte Da!"

Monday haiku

The photographer,
lonely and desperate, got
by with a selfie

Weekend haiku

Fixated on his tooth,
his abcessive-compulsive
behavior's just weird

-----------------------------

Let it be known, I
say, if something is epic,
it's "over the fence"

Friday haiku

Due to his sore tooth,
he missed the meeting, being
absent by abcess

Thursday haiku

If laughter's the best
medicine, penicillin
must be right up there

Wednesday haiku

Laughter truly is
the best medicine, closely
followed by whiskey

Tuesday haiku

Nymphomaniac
coffee company was called
"Do Me A Latte"

Monday haiku

The narcissistic
coffee company was called
"Love Me A Latte"

Weekend haiku

Saying "I do" now
means having to say "Adieu"
to all the others
----------------------------------------

The disappointed
skydiver exclaimed to the
growing hole, "Aw chute!"

Friday haiku

I have a meeting,
a party of one, then find
I didn't show up

Thursday haiku

Another lunch at 
her desk, so much work, she can't 
even digest it

Wednesday haiku

Bill loves driving cars,
but the biking trip was a
bit two wheel for him

Tuesday haiku

Rush hour deadlock,
screaming in his car, seems right,
Paul's driving a Fit

Monday haiku

Celebrities known
for their bodies shouldn't have
a "talent" agent

Weekend haiku

I have found tea is
for gossip, brandy for shock,
whiskey for dancing

-------------------------------------

Celebrities known
for their bodies need to have
a talent later

Friday haiku

Asked to explain the
difference, Julie noted, "Slugs
are just homeless snails!"

Thursday haiku

Always carrying
their homes with them, snails must be
agoraphobic

Wednesday haiku

He was a healthy
boy, but Morse would always talk
like he had a code