Friday haiku

As a football fan,
I'm Gruden intolerant
Please John, go away!!

Thursday haiku

Wil Wheaton's girlfriend
is gluten intolerant,
much to his chagrin

Wednesday haiku

Supergirl's boyfriend
admitted his heroine
addiction is real

Tuesday haiku

Thanks to the Russians, 
Trump's already elected 
for a seventh term

Monday haiku

The worst person to
be gluten intolerant
would be Wil Wheaton

Weekend haiku

Christmas came early,
the heavens gave us Tony,
God's gift to women

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For a good portion
of rural Kansas, every
year's a white Christmas

Friday haiku

LOST: Great Dane-hungry,  
curious, scared, answers to
the name Scooby Doo

Thursday haiku

It has no exits,
but the bathroom is best for
evacuations

Wednesday haiku

The fish store sponsored
orchestra sounds bad because
it's out of tuna

Tuesday haiku

The T-rex always 
loses all battles because 
they are not well-armed

Monday haiku

No matter what the
terrorists try to do, we'll
always have Paris

Weekend haiku

She waved at Donny
because flipping him off took
way too much effort

----------------------------------

Darth Vader took the
hand because Luke never sent
a Father's Day card

Friday haiku

I scream, you scream, we
all scream for the hell of it.
We are obnoxious!

Thursday haiku

After all these years,
why won't they put a tracking
device on Scooby?

Wednesday haiku

Trump may not have killed
U.S. politics, but he
played Russian roulette

Tuesday haiku

Jill could be outside 
with pride, but she's inside with 
a quart of ice cream

Monday haiku

Wanting a divorce,
George Jetson again yelled, "Jane,
Stop this crazy thing!"

Weekend haiku

Bill's medicine is
beer, as he finds it always
will provide thirst aid

-------------------------------

With all of the clocks
around, Bill didn't see the
need of a binge watch

Friday haiku

The accident now
passed, Jill wondered when she would
receive second aid

Thursday haiku

Tommy's patience was
melting like a salt shaker
in a thunderstorm

Wednesday haiku

The only change Jill
truly appreciates comes
from vending machines

Tuesday haiku

Whenever I hope 
we're nearing enlightenment, 
the news wakes me up

Monday haiku

For boating nerds, their 
infatuation seems to 
be currently strong

Weekend haiku

She puts lotion on
her hands, looking like a bad
guy hatching a plot

-----------------------------------

When asked what margin
was, Kevin said, "I believe
that it's like butter"

Friday haiku

If you don't believe
cell phones are adult binkys,
just try taking one

Thursday haiku

High as a cloud, the
church bell makes Tom smile, as it
rings out, "Bong! Bong! Bong!"