Thursday haiku

Bryan Ferry was 
wrong, hate is the drug, and love 
is the antidote

Wednesday haiku

When asked how long I'd 
be here, I asked, "Mentally 
or physically?"

Tuesday haiku

Everyone's sexy 
in their own way, though Bill's way 
is banned in six states

Monday haiku

In Tiger Woods' nude 
photos, you see his putter, 
and a hole in one

Weekend haiku

At REI, to
recycle is to get back
on your bike again

------------------------

I believe in free
speech, as long as you just say
what I agree with

Friday haiku

President Trump sides
with supremacists and Alt-
Rights, but he's All-Wrong

Thursday haiku

Not completely sad
or glad, feeling like cherry
blossoms in the rain

Wednesday haiku

The mountain made her 
nervous, constantly looming 
over her shoulder

Tuesday haiku

President Trump sticks
his arm out the car window
to make Alt-Right turns

Monday haiku

Trump stared up at the  
eclipse, as he's a member
of the new Alt-Sight

Weekend haiku

If you don't want all
the men staring at you, put
your clothes back on, Dear

--------------------------------

Slutty and Southern,
Julie's the girl who put the
harlot in Charlotte

Friday haiku

All Winter, the sun
only seems to come out when
I must go back in

Thursday haiku

Coffee Stout: the beer
to both start your morning and
finish off your night

Wednesday haiku

Coffee companies
have created a game: Cards
Against Lipton Tea

Tuesday haiku

With my great big nose,
I have found there's no such thing
as too much cocaine

Monday haiku

Pleasing yourself with
cucumbers is better than
a Durian fruit

Weekend haiku

I asked her to the
Prince concert, when she said, "Prince
who?", I said, "Goodbye!"

-------------------------------------------

Pleasing yourself with
cucumbers just proves you're a
vegetarian

Friday haiku

She kept slapping his
birthmark, not understanding
what "Whack-A-Mole" meant

Thursday haiku

The space program's pet
rooster rode on all missions
as their shuttlecock

Wednesday haiku

All the guards at the
marijuana store were on
very high alert

Tuesday haiku

I stopped drinking once,
but my Mom told me she did
not raise a quitter

Monday haiku

When I look at my
choices for president, I
think I'll choose whiskey

Weekend haiku

Time's more elusive
than the truth; impossible
to reach, hold or keep

-----------------------------

The only thing of
value to come from Bill's mouth
was a gold filling

Friday haiku

"Your poetry gave 
me goose bumps," she said, but I 
think it's the ice cream

Thursday haiku

As an introvert,
I now understand why I
can relate to cats

Wednesday haiku

I like society,
humanity, people, but
more as a concept

Tuesday haiku

The artist painting 
traffic jams obviously 
likes to do still life.