Weekend haiku

In Wyoming, if 
you can't aim a gun, they send 
you to Wisconsin 

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In Wyoming, if 
you can't aim a gun, then you're 
a politician

Friday haiku

So mad I wouldn't 
take her broken cat, her claws 
are still out, and sharp

Thursday haiku

Her aim is so bad, 
she went to shop at Target, 
ended up at Sears

Wednesday haiku

If blueberries are 
brain food, with all the pie I've 
eaten, I'm brilliant!

Tuesday haiku

Bill's resolution 
was to stop smoking, so he 
now just cures the meat

Monday haiku

Bill's resolution 
was to lose extra weight, so 
he got a divorce

Weekend haiku

My resolution 
is to stop drinking beer, so 
I stop each morning 

My resolution 
was to not work so hard, which 
is tough doing porn

Friday haiku

My resolution 
this year was to lose five pounds, 
just ten left to go!

Thursday haiku

His farewell tour should 
be called, "Kenny Rogers and 
the Last Edition"

Wednesday haiku

President Trump is 
ultracrepidarian. 
That's all. Just sayin'

Tuesday haiku

Bill's an engineer, 
and an avid beer fan, so 
he's always drafting

Monday haiku

When Harrison Ford 
made love to Carrie Fisher,
she says Han shot first

Weekend haiku

I'd try to find a 
different job, but I don't have 
any other skills 

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When Harrison Ford 
wasn't with Carrie Fisher, 
he was Han Solo

Friday haiku

I thought all flowers 
were my friends, but soon found some 
were anemones

Thursday haiku

My eyes are at half 
mast because my energy 
level is flagging

Wednesday haiku

My eyes are at half 
mast, as a few more brain cells 
have died tragically

Tuesday haiku

We added a light 
neat the outhouse, so you can 
see where you're going

Monday haiku

The vegan girl was 
no longer afraid, as she 
couldn't be chicken

Weekend haiku

HA! Star Wars fan site 
says Warwick Davis has a 
small role in new film 

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The vegan girl stayed 
home alone, as she couldn't 
leave to meet her friends

Friday haiku

Carrie Fisher slept 
with Harrison Ford; well, she 
was Princess Leia

Thursday haiku

Everyone deserves
music, except for Donald,
he deserves nothing

Wednesday haiku

With Ms. Hicks leaving, 
this presidency is now
completely hopeless

Tuesday haiku

The since sequence mixed 
I asked of my all up for 
eggs order's scrambled

Monday haiku

Stupidity can 
stay well hidden, until a 
person speaks or votes

Weekend haiku

The lizard wasn't 
excited, suffering a 
reptile dysfunction 

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Thank the deity 
of your choice, it is the last 
day of the work week

Friday haiku

Kicked out of the room, 
our meeting not complete, we 
take over the hall

Thursday haiku

After Bill was cloned, 
his crime spree began, as he 
had an alibi