Monday haiku

I'm guessing Adam 
was just the first to enjoy 
a great New Year's Eve

Weekend haiku

Chips Ahoy cookies' 
name would make sense if they were 
sprinkled in sea salt 

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She really likes her 
Pinocchio vibrator 
in her Geppetto

Friday haiku

Since everyone I 
know will die someday, I choose 
eighty years from now

Thursday haiku

Naked to the world, 
I find my poor banana 
is less a peeling

Wednesday haiku

December Twenty- 
Sixth is the first day you can 
be naughty again

Tuesday haiku

Santa bought a new 
home in Antarctica, so 
now he's bi-polar

Monday haiku

Santa knows if you're 
on the naughty list, you got 
your presents early

Weekend haiku

Jill collects guano 
ceramics, as she misheard 
the phrase "Art Giclee" 

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The white styrofoam 
container is the modern 
single man's dishes

Friday haiku

Kaitlin knows whiskey 
cures everything, except for 
alcoholism

Thursday haiku

Some people say I'm 
more of the strong, silent type, 
but I'm not that strong

Wednesday haiku

A flock of geese honk 
overhead, though unneeded, 
I'm not in their lane

Tuesday haiku

Again, Jelly wins 
the condiment contest, but 
Jam is still seeded

Monday haiku

He can't fathom a 
future in which he can not 
look into her eyes

Weekend haiku

Jesus was a laid 
back guy, rarely angry, in 
fact, only cross once 

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When Lassie finds the 
cantaloupes, she discovers 
she's melancholy

Friday haiku

The Cheeto-in-chief 
is getting crushed by Mueller 
and soon will be dust

Thursday haiku

Jesus would only 
order water, let it turn 
to wine on his lips

Wednesday haiku

Red Bull may give you 
wings, but all it gives me is 
an upset stomach

Tuesday haiku

I.R.S. returned 
my taxes, said that I need 
it more than they do

Monday haiku

I don't understand 
how Trump can chastise fake news 
while broadcasting it

Weekend haiku

Bill wears loafers, and 
based on how much time he sits, 
that seems about right 

------------------------------------- 

Why did you ask my 
opinion when it's quite clear 
you didn't want it?

Friday haiku

There's smoke in the air, 
a fire somewhere, I swear 
it might be my hair

Thursday haiku

Julie calls all her 
co-workers barn animals, 
and she's the farmer

Wednesday haiku

I do prefer smoked 
oysters, but they don't fit in 
the rolling papers

Tuesday haiku

Odessa's mom is 
retiring, so her new 
job is Odessa

Monday haiku

For Bill, Julie's a 
little bit of sunshine who 
goes down every night

Weekend haiku

While moving his home, 
the big wreck caused many dents 
in his residence 

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She may now live in 
a small town, but still keeps her 
big city inside