Friday haiku

She kissed him goodbye, 
knowing he would forever 
be there on her lips

Thursday haiku

Kids practice Kung-Fu 
in back, while it's the poets 
who are offensive

Wednesday haiku

Jack Spratt could eat no 
fat, or gluten, in fact he's 
quite intolerant

Tuesday haiku

Sunshine in Winter 
is a trailer for a film 
you can't wait to see

Monday haiku

Inchworm, measuring
the marigolds, trying to
stay away from feet

Weekend haiku

Mary had a little 
lamb, even though she is a 
vegetarian 

--------------------------------- 

Three blind mice, three blind 
mice, see how they run, because 
they're not able to

Friday haiku

Humpty Dumpty had 
a great fall, and his summer 
was pretty decent

Thursday haiku

Humpty Dumpty loves 
Winter, Spring and Summer, but 
he'd rather skip Fall

Wednesday haiku

Alice Cooper got 
his name from a Ouija board, 
mine is Letme Out

Tuesday haiku

Alice Cooper got 
his name from a Ouija board, 
mine is Qwadlbic

Monday haiku

Over thirty years 
of marriage just goes to prove 
how patient she is

Weekend haiku

I want to be done 
with doctors, but I know this 
is just beginning 

------------------------------- 

I made a phone call, 
then I made it whimper, beg 
and use it's safe word

Friday haiku

I agreed to try 
yoga, but then found there's no 
fruit at the bottom

Thursday haiku

Dying mystery 
writers are ready as they 
have laid out their plots

Wednesday haiku

Looking up, watching 
the snow fall, because looking 
down doesn't make sense

Tuesday haiku

It's my birthday, so 
today's haiku can have as 
many syllables as I damn well please, so there!

Monday haiku

I think the D.C. 
in our nation's capitol 
stands for "Dirty Cash"

Weekend haiku

It's not Cancer! Since 
there's two lumps, doctor says it 
must be Gemini 

____________________________ 

I think the D.C. 
after Washington must stand 
for "Dickhead Central"

Friday haiku

True love is never 
having to say, "Sure, let's watch 
Fifty Shades of Grey"

Thursday haiku

Lying down naked, 
Bill had misheard that Jill had 
a message for him

Wednesday haiku

What did the iceberg 
say when the Titanic hit? 
"Unsinkable?  HA!"

Tuesday haiku

A haircut may not 
make me a new man, but it 
sure in hell can't hurt

Monday haiku

Standing behind the 
vehicle, Bill was doing 
exhaustive research

Weekend haiku

Trump's half right, while fake 
news is indeed real, not all 
the real news is fake 

---------------------------------- 

Sitting in darkness, 
the Senators were ready 
to be enlightened

Friday haiku

For lunch, they take a 
break from their computers by 
staring at their phones

Thursday haiku

With all its stories 
on Trump, the paper's called "The 
Washington Compost"

Wednesday haiku

While the elephant 
was all ears, the girl giraffe 
just wanted to neck