Weekend haiku

Horizontal stripes 
could be seen as slimming if 
they were vertical 

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Tall grass to a child 
is a playground, a fort, a 
hiding place, a home

Friday haiku

Julie would spend much 
more time outdoors, if Billy 
would just stay inside

Thursday haiku

Julie would spend much 
more time outdoors if it had  
air conditioning

Wednesday haiku

Julie would spend much 
more time outdoors if she could 
put a roof on it

Tuesday haiku

The cat keeps grooming 
herself, which is truly the 
paws that refreshes

Monday haiku

Women have found they 
don't need the whole pig to get 
a little sausage

Weekend haiku

To really mess with 
a millennial, write them 
letters, in cursive 

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The sun arrives in 
our camp like a long, lost friend, 
though a little late

Friday haiku

Millennials are 
our future, so may God have 
mercy on our souls

Thursday haiku

Trump doesn't have a 
pet, which surprises me, as 
I hear he grabs cats

Wednesday haiku

Trump doesn't have a 
dog, since he rents the doghouse 
as a Trump Tower

Tuesday haiku

Head bowed, before their 
lunch, as if in prayer, just 
looking at their phones

Monday haiku

She dances against 
the rhythm, at least the one 
the rest of us hear

Weekend haiku

Time is a subtle 
poison slowly killing us 
one day at a time 

------------------------------ 

Astrophysicists 
greet each other, saying, "What's 
the matter with you?"

Friday haiku

When you're dancing to 
the music in your heard, you're 
always in rhythm

Thursday haiku

At the nursing home, 
everyone looks like they are 
searching for agates

Wednesday haiku

Interspecies love 
on display: Kat gives bear hugs 
to our stuffed wombat

Tuesday haiku

The dowager's less 
dour by the hour, thanks 
to Pisco Sours

Monday haiku

Trump's immigration 
policy works, creating 
lots more terrorists

Weekend haiku

The puppy howls, snarls, 
disobeys and bites, testing 
her skills, and owners 

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Trump detains children, 
screams for a wall, while most of 
the threats were born here

Friday haiku

Kanye West, Jay-Z 
and Omar Epps star in the 
remake, "Ghostbustas"

Thursday's haiku

I heard Koko the 
Gorilla passed, now Trump is 
the last of his kind

Wednesday haiku

She giggles into
her hand, because using her
foot's not an option

Tuesday haiku

His unpleasantness 
is so toxic, he must bring 
his own Haz-Mat crew

Monday haiku

Getting hard-ons while 
sleeping on your side is like 
having a kickstand

Weekend haiku

The moon's acting full 
of itself, but it's just a 
phase it's going through 

------------------------------ 

No one stands straighter, 
or more awkwardly, then when 
their picture's taken

Friday haiku

I've found there's nothing 
sexy about wet kisses 
from sick eskimos

Thursday haiku

Eskimos may not 
be serious gourmands, but 
they like seal-a-meal