Weekend haiku

 They want me to work  

weekends, which just might help me  

to find religion  

-------------------------------------------  

I can make most bad  

decisions without any  

help from all of you

Friday haiku

 They want me to work  

weekends, but I just can't say,  

"Thank God, it's Tuesday!"

Thursday haiku

 They want me to work  

weekends, not knowing I don't  

work during the week

Wednesday haiku

 She'd like her job if  

the desk chains were long enough  

to reach the bathroom

Tuesday haiku

 Beer is not just for  

breakfast anymore, and it  

sure beats orange juice

Monday haiku

 His job felt more like  

a house at the end of a  

one-way dead end street

Weekend haiku

 Politicians need  

to know the company they  

keep is who they are  

-------------------------------  

I think Trump will make  

America great again  

when he leaves office

Friday haiku

 When you defend a  

bully, you must know, someday  

they will turn on you

Thursday haiku

 The headaches and blurred  

vision are not your eyes, you've  

been watching Fox News

Wednesday haiku

 Fox News is to news  

what the sewer pipe is to  

all of the plumbing

Tuesday haiku

 Food poisoning is  

an extremely drastic weight  

loss plan, but it works

Monday haiku

 I bought a bag of  

Itsy Bitsy Pretzel Bites,  

but it was just crumbs

Weekend haiku

 The president lies,  

and lies about the lies, then  

wants us to believe  

--------------------------------------  

The president lies  

so much, when he tells the truth,  

we still don't trust him

Friday haiku

 Once she stopped drinking,  

she found her friends and her job  

weren't near as much fun

Thursday haiku

 After the show, the  

musician asked for all his  

drinks in to-go cups

Wednesday haiku

 Her hair is hot pink,  

like cotton candy, but she's  

nowhere near as sweet

Tuesday haiku

 Jolly Green Giant  

suing Santa over his  

trademarked, "Ho Ho Ho"

Monday haiku

 I didn't say the  

word "normal" normally, but  

more abnormally

Weekend haiku

 If disgruntled means  

you are angry, peeved, pissed off,  

what doe gruntled mean?  

-----------------------------------------------------  

Billy feels like a  

little kid again, but the  

police frown on that

Friday haiku

 The rabbit's searching  

high and low, just looking for  

some bunny to love

Thursday haiku

 While unwrapping the  

Kindle, she wondered how it  

plays with her Barbie

Wednesday haiku

 Bill knows if his life  

was a t.v. show, he would  

be cancelled by now

Tuesday haiku

 Women congregate,  

while men strategically space  

themselves far apart

Monday haiku

 She says she doesn't  

need hearing aids, though "what?" is  

her favorite word

Weekend haiku

 Darlene stopped dating  

cheese, finding it was much too  

gouda to be true  

-----------------------------------------  

Smurfs aren't known for their  

sexual proclivities,  

as most have blue balls

Friday haiku

 Billy doesn't like  

doughnuts, because he finds he  

can't eat the hole thing

Thursday haiku

 When smoke gets in your  

eyes, it's cigarettes, fires,  

or it's glaucoma