Monday haiku

 I don't exercise,  

because I hear sweat is just  

your fat cells crying

Weekend haiku

 Waylon Jennings hates  

missing his flight, though there was  

one he's okay with  

--------------------------------------------  

Sting sings he will call  

her a thousand times a day.  

She must be local.

Friday haiku

 Be thankful for all  

the things you have, don't resent  

all the things you lack

Thursday haiku

 It may not be the  

easiest year to give thanks,  

but I'm still thankful

Wednesday haiku

 Each generation,  

due to plane crashes, has a  

day the music died

Tuesday haiku

 The Big Bopper is  

the only one hit wonder  

who has an excuse

Monday haiku

 With Buddy Holly,  

we do know exactly the  

day that she left him

Weekend haiku

 Minnie felt funny,  

then she realized she had  

been slipped a Mickey  

---------------------------------  

She's had so many  

meetings, her new job title  

must be "attendee"

Friday haiku

 Julie wears a mask,  

not because of Covid, she  

ran out of makeup

Thursday haiku

 Large sign reads, "Don't rock  

the vending machine". Someone  

wrote, "What about Jazz?"

Wednesday haiku

 The poet, living  

on the streets, is a bad sign  

for future poets

Tuesday haiku

 The Lion's Club is  

meeting tonight, which is bad  

news for the Romans

Monday haiku

 He ate the whole bag  

of cookies, all six servings,  

calories be damned

Weekend haiku

 How fragile must an  

ego be to deny the  

truth and embrace lies?  

-----------------------------  

I think we're ready  

for 2020 hindsight  

to start right away

Friday haiku

 Friday the 13th  

in 2020 must mean  

the apocalypse

Thursday haiku

 He mumbles, grumbles,  

talks to himself, as the one  

who listened is gone

Wednesday haiku

 Joan's Christmas sweater  

lights up, twinkling red, blue and  

green, while Joan's still dark

Tuesday haiku

 Johnny put on his  

thinking cap, but I swear that  

damn thing is broken

Monday haiku

 She moved us to a  

different room, in hopes it would  

improve our thinking

Weekend haiku

 It shouldn't have been  

this close, our humanity  

shouldn't be this gray  

---------------------------------  

Donald won't ever  

gain perspective. Hell, he can't  

even spell the word

Friday haiku

 If your election  

stays red for more than four years,  

consult a ballot

Thursday haiku

 She put her child on  

the baby changing station,  

and now he's different

Wednesday haiku

 Baby, it is cold  

outside, but that's an excuse,  

because I'm a letch

Tuesday haiku

 If you don't vote, you  

can't complain, and we know that  

you like to complain

Monday haiku

 She wore a pure white  

outfit, hoping folks might think  

she's still virginal