Wednesday haiku

If you don't want me  

to flip off bad drivers, you  

should leave me at home

Tuesday haiku

There should be levels  

of stupid where you can't have  

kids, guns or a car

Monday haiku

The whole idea  

of narcolepsy ends up  

leaving me tired

Weekend haiku

 Wes is so old, when  

he moves, it sounds like rocking  

chairs on a wood porch  

-----------------------------------------  

Wes is so old,  he  

remembers the Whig party  

and Federalists

Friday haiku

I believe we need  

to talk about Alzheimer's  

before we forget

Thursday haiku

I've eaten so much  

sushi lately, I'm starting  

to grow a blowhole

Wednesday haiku

Hospital waiting  

rooms: no matter how nice, no  

one wants to be there

Tuesday haiku

For a poet, the  

worst part of face masks, is no  

place to rest your pen

Monday haiku

I offered up my  

body to science, but they  

politely declined

Weekend haiku

When the cows get their  

wings, and learn to fly and soar,  

the steaks will be high  

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They painted their house  

seafoam with turquoise trim, a  

true blue color crime

Friday haiku

She teased me, said I'm  

afraid of the broom.  It's true. 

I saw Fantasia

Thursday haiku

The best part of the  

rose is the thorns, letting you  

know you are alive

Wednesday haiku

Who was that masked  

man?  My guess is, he's likely  

not Republican

Tuesday haiku

Superman never  

got caught, because he always  

had an "S" cape

Monday haiku

Yoda likes breakfast  

the same as his sentences,  

hammy and scrambled

Weekend haiku

 The sheep cheered after  

being sheared, from nose to rear,  

or pretty darn near  

-----------------------------------------  

Unimpressed by my  

work on the farm, the sheep say,  

"Baa!", the horses, "Nay!"

Friday haiku

Despite the name, Bill's  

Escalade did not improve  

his sex life at all

Thursday haiku

There's a car service  

that will take you to strip clubs,  

it is called Buber

Wednesday haiku

Finally off work,  

I can now drink to forget  

what I did at work

Tuesday haiku

When it's too hot to  

sleep, you try to find a way  

to dream about snow

Monday haiku

No contact, staying  

home, keeping apart, was in  

Jessica's wheelhouse

Weekend haiku

It's Shena's birthday,  

and she puts up with me, so  

she gets this haiku  

-----------------------------------  

It's Shena's birthday,  

yet she has figured out how  

to not age a day

Friday haiku

When she unravels  

knitting projects, I feel glad

I'm not made of yarn

Thursday haiku

There are some poets  

that make me want to tell folks  

I write short stories

Wednesday haiku

My stoner friend was  

greatly disappointed when  

he saw my pot roast

Tuesday haiku

In this life, we can't  

all be swans, we must accept  

most of us are ducks