Tuesday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

new line of recycling  

places: "It's a Scrap!"

Monday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

brand new line of manure  

products: It's A Crap!

Weekend haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

should find religion  

----------------------------  

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

should have a towel

Friday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, I  

will bring the whiskey

Thursday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

better be ready

Wednesday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, don't  

panic! Oh, wait. Do!

Tuesday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you'll  

kiss your butt goodbye

Monday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

better run like hell

Weekend haiku

I'm so groggy this  

morning, I wrote a haiku  

with too many syllables  

-----------------------------  

I forgot my book,  

so now I must create all  

of the words myself

Friday haiku

Pink has postponed her  

concerts here. We'll wait to get  

the party started

Thursday haiku

Narcissism and  

greed trump humanity, so  

our planet is doomed

Wednesday haiku

Sleeping with your spouse,  

farting under the bedsheets  

is an act of war

Tuesday haiku

The last one hundred  

miles of biking felt like it  

was a century

Monday haiku

Another day done,  

while the next one looms nearby,  

waiting for it's turn

Weekend haiku

PTO means you  

better prepare the others  

as I won't be there  

----------------------------

Lahaina is gone,  

the banyan tree damaged, but  

the tourists still come

Friday haiku

She says whiskey will  

likely ruin my life, but  

I think I need proof

Thursday haiku

Not only are we  

not on the same page, I don't  

think it's the same book

Wednesday haiku

Bill Walton's stream of  

consciousness now seems to be  

a bit polluted

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot here, my  

oven told Mother Nature,  

"Okay, fine, you win!"

Monday haiku

It's so hot here, Ben  

and Jerry's is now selling  

Chunky Monkey Soup

Weekend haiku

It's so hot here in  

Seattle, tomorrow is  

already sweating  

---------------------------  

It's so hot here right  

now, my deodorant gave  

it's two weeks notice

Friday haiku

This Monday arrives  

with four checked bags and a purse  

It's not leaving soon

Thursday haiku

Sandpipers race back  

and forth, ahead of the waves,  

while an eagle rests

Wednesday haiku

Watching the ceiling  

fan spin round and round, it's too  

active this morning

Tuesday haiku

You did your best to  

make me look bad. I don't need  

any help with that.

Monday haiku

It's my fault really,  

that while hugging me, you then  

stabbed me in the back