Tuesday haiku

My resolution  

is I've got to stop making  

resolutions... Damn!

Monday haiku

RFK Jr.  

in charge of health. I guess we'll  

just have to bear it

Weekend haiku

 RFK Jr.  

in charge of health. When's he's done,  

we'll need a vaccine  

--------------------------------------------  

 RFK Jr.  

in charge of health. I knew he  

would worm his way in

Friday haiku

 Why do I feel so  

beat up after Christmas? Oh    

yeah, right, Boxing Day

Thursday haiku

You should wait to ask  

for gift receipts until the  

day after Christmas

Christmas haiku

She dislikes my gift.    

I misheard when she asked for  

new boots for Christmas

Tuesday haiku

Based on presents, I'm  

starting to think Santa likes  

my wife more than me

Monday haiku

This mirror must be  

broken, because, when I peer  

in, I see my Dad

Bonus Weekend haiku

 Rickey Henderson  

has stolen his last base, and  

is now heading home

Weekend haiku

All the King's horses  

and all the King's men know that  

Dumpty's a bad egg  

-------------------------------------  

I saw storm clouds in  

her baby blues, and I knew  

thunder was nearby

Friday haiku

For Samuel L.  

Jackson, curse words are merely  

adjectives and nouns

Thursday haiku

 Ironically, it  

seems, most anti-vaxxers tend  

to be little pricks

Wednesday haiku

One of the Haitian  

bullets must have hit Spirit  

Air's profit margin

Tuesday haiku

I remember we  

once had blue skies, but now the  

clouds reign over us

Monday haiku

Working remotely,  

my face to face meetings are  

now more screen to screen

Weekend haiku

If the stars align,  

the orange glow in the sky  

will become true light  

-------------------------------  

Even during the  

darkest of days, the sun is  

still up there, shining

Friday haiku

Christmas is coming.  

New Year's is coming. I am  

nowhere near ready.

Thursday haiku

 Prostate exam: A  

good sign is the box of large  

gloves is unopened

Wednesday haiku

Stuck in the snow globe  

of life, her only true joy  

is when it's shaken

Tuesday haiku

Lounging around on  

Sunday, watching football, while  

Monday's closing in

Monday haiku

The constant hum of  

this refrigerator, I  

find to be not cool

Weekend haiku

It's ironic that  

Mona Lisa rarely smiled,  

except when painted  

-------------------------------  

If you want to know  

how to make your guitar sound  

good, you should stay tuned

Friday haiku

She burned sandalwood  

to remove aromas, but  

also removed me

Thursday haiku

In the bedroom, she  

took my breath away last night.  

God damn allergies!

Wednesday haiku

She realized her  

parents were closer to the  

end than she'd prefer

Tuesday haiku

He found his parents  

were not getting better, the  

years taking their toll

Monday haiku

Disappointed, Bill  

had brought some tortilla chips  

to the Salsa class

Weekend haiku

When the vampire goes  

to the bar, he will order  

a bloody Mary  

-----------------------------  

It's about to rain,  

the sky dark, the air heavy,  

I won't be dry long

Friday haiku

I've heard the mummy's  

curse is real, but it's muffled  

by the bandages

Thanksgiving haiku

Today's not about  

how much turkey you can eat,    

there's also the sides

Wednesday haiku

 His recent haikus  

had turned darker, a shiver  

with every chuckle

Tuesday haiku

The cannibal was  

disappointed baby powder  

wasn't what he thought

Monday haiku

Leaves drop from the trees  

as temperatures lower.  

That's why it's called Fall.

Weekend haiku

 She gives up her love  

without conditions, but she  

never gets too close  

------------------------------------  

I find my deepest  

sleep occurs just ten minutes  

before the alarm

Friday haiku

Mark Hamill is on  

Blue Sky now, finally breaking  

free from the dark side

Thursday haiku

We fly home today,  

our four weeks in Australia  

complete, as are we

Wednesday haiku

Introverts lose sleep  

over interacting with  

all the extroverts

Tuesday haiku

Farting in bed is  

chemical warfare against  

a person you love

Monday haiku

A German dog named  

after a Scottish dish, and  

lives in Australia

Weekend haiku

For people who love  

to drive, the road is measured  

by the smile markers  

-------------------------------------  

We visited the  

Australia Zoo; the ghost of  

Steve was everywhere

Friday haiku

All the flat-earthers  

do not end up taking the  

globe sphereiously 

Thursday haiku

Since we are not chefs,  

we had yogurt and muesli  

for dinner. Five stars.

Wednesday haiku

She found a cane toad  

in the bathroom stall, so this  

ain't the Four Seasons

Tuesday haiku

Kangaroos seem to  

be skittish around people.  

I feel the same way.

Monday haiku

 We've just taught our kids  

lying stealing, bullying,  

cheating are okay

Weekend haiku

Kamala Harris  

should be our president. Trump  

will never be mine  

-------------------------------------  

Why does our country  

seem to fear the thought of a  

woman president?

Friday haiku

 My team just lost the  

political Super Bowl.  

I'll need a minute

Thursday haiku

My team just lost the  

political Super Bowl,  

so no Disneyland

Wednesday haiku

It's the day after  

Election Day. The swing states  

have swung to the wrong

Tuesday haiku

It's Election Day,  

so if you don't vote today,  

you'll have lost your voice

Monday haiku

Ballot boxes are  

set on fire.  The crimes may  

be done by our sons.

Weekend haiku

Ballot boxes are  

set on fire, for when a  

burning cross won't do  

--------------------------  

Ballot boxes are  

set on fire. If they can't  

beat us, they'll match us.

Friday haiku

Ballot boxes are  

set on fire. We should all  

be enflamed by this.

Thursday haiku

Ballot boxes are  

set on fire, so it's our  

freedom now in flames

Wednesday haiku

Ballot boxes are  

set on fire. These must be  

hot button issues

Tuesday haiku

Ballot boxes are  

set on fire, but that won't  

stop us from voting

Monday haiku

 

Trump has bragged about  

grabbing women's pussies. Let's  

kick him in the polls

Weekend haiku

The worst decision  

our business ever made will  

be memories soon  

---------------------------------  

My boss messaged me  

on vacation, but the news  

was sunshine itself

Friday haiku

Harvest super moon  

rose up large and impressive,  

even the sun smiled

Thursday haiku

I finally got to  

try the Chinese Moon Cake, and  

I prefer the pie

Wednesday haiku

I walked across the  

Sydney Harbor Bridge, and not  

the least bit jumpy

Tuesday haiku

I've taken photos  

around the Sydney Opera  

house, but not inside

Monday haiku

Orlando checked out  

Kim's booty. Katy replied,  

"Well, yeah, I did too!"

Weekend haiku

Based on stormtrooper's  

aim, I'd hate to clean bathrooms  

inside the Death Star  

------------------------------------  

We still don't know how  

we're getting to the airport.  

We should get started.

Friday haiku

While Garfield just ate  

too much lasagna, I heard  

that the dog O.D.'ed

Thursday haiku

At night, Medusa  

would relax, reading the plays  

of William Snakespeare

Wednesday haiku

Icarus may have  

mainly ate Greek food, but I've  

heard he liked hot wings

Tuesday haiku

The tall ladder must  

be in AA, as it is  

a twelve step program

Monday haiku

 Vacation's on the  

horizon, never seeming  

to get much closer

Weekend haiku

 Taking a break for  

over a month. You'll miss me,  

but I will be back  

-----------------------------------  

That last haiku is  

not a joke. I'm going to  

take a little break

Friday haiku

Watching baseball is  

like being an addict, just  

waiting for a hit

Thursday haiku

 She asked me to get  

pet licenses. I didn't  

know the cats could drive.

Wednesday haiku

Waiting to get a  

haircut, to go from hippie  

to respectable

Tuesday haiku

Neil says we're made of  

ordinary matter, but  

he's never met Jill

Monday haiku

Our cat wakes us up,  

begs for food and attention,  

then she'll sleep all day

Weekend haiku

Our cat wakes us up,  

begs for food and attention,  

our feline alarm.  

----------------------------------  

Our cat wakes us up,  

begs for food and attention.

There's no snooze button.

Friday haiku

Late night call that Dad's  

in the hospital, again.  

Well, there goes sleeping.

Thursday haiku

The masturbators  

on the New York baseball team  

are the true Yankees

Wednesday haiku

Bright red bikini,  

sunbathing, not fishing, yet  

catching every eye

Tuesday haiku

The windchimes ping, ping,  

ping, allowing the breeze to  

be a musician

Monday haiku

I will celebrate  

Labor Day by not doing  

any work at all

Weekend haiku

Dale sings through his nose  

so much, he could finish the  

song with his mouth closed  

--------------------------------------  

Pitching a tent in  

the rain is like saying, "I  

want all my stuff wet"

Friday haiku

The human brain is  

about sixty percent fat,  

so you're a fathead

Thursday haiku

The rain has returned,  

four days in a row now. How  

is this still Summer?

Wednesday haiku

Jill doesn't seem to  

have nightmares, as she gives them  

to all her exes.

Tuesday haiku

In the beginning,  

she brought the heat of July.  

Now, it's December.

Monday haiku

With the raindrops on  

the leaves, our small tree twinkles  

like daytime starlight

Weekend haiku

Thunder and lightning  

bringing this dull night some real  

electricity  

------------------------------------------  

At the airport where  

some folks leave, and some arrive.  

A gateway to fun.

Friday haiku

Puns are wordplay, while  

Sarcasm is, "Sure, you're smart  

enough to get this."

Thursday haiku

Upright in the rain  

and the elements, Joel's boss  

says he's, "Out standing."

Wednesday haiku

If you don't know how  

to fix something, the best tool  

is a sledgehammer

Tuesday haiku

Watching the dogs play  

and run, though we have let them  

out to poo and pee

Monday haiku

Unable to move,  

I wonder if I consumed  

far too much root beer

Weekend haiku

Corgis: Smiles on their  

muzzle, butts like flags from the  

friendliest nation  

-------------------------------------  

Peaceful solitude,  

luckily my cough noticed  

it should be calm too

Friday haiku

You want the pliers  

to try to fix something that  

you don't understand

Thursday haiku

The clouds are gone, the  

sun returns, reminding us  

Summer's still reigning

Wednesday haiku

As the dogs howl, the  

moon rises, a shadow prowls,  

while our cat just sleeps

Tuesday haiku

Having a broken  

foot and COVID means the foot  

hurts a little less

Monday haiku

His skeleton has  

been pulverized completely,  

no bones about it

Weekend haiku

In this long, dark night  

of his soul, Nick looks for light,  

but no moon, no stars  

----------------------------------------  

Since I don't really  

like Florida, I will let  

you keep Yourami

Friday haiku

In my personal  

Olympics for today, I  

did not qualify

Thursday haiku

If you win a gold  

medal, you're head and shoulders  

above all the rest

Wednesday haiku

Angels may be on  

my shoulder, but the devil's  

the one in my ear

Tuesday haiku

She gives me apple  

slices, hoping the doctor  

will not visit soon

Monday haiku

It's time to be done  

with Trump's chaos, we need some  

peace and Kamala

Weekend haiku

If you say Akbar  

Gbajabiamila's name,  

you should practice first  

-----------------------------  

If you say Akbar  

Gbajabiamila's name,  

you'll need a quick tongue

Friday haiku

 The sun low, first day  

our our vacation nearly  

done, three more to go

Thursday haiku

Three poultry workers  

seem to have caught bird flu, as  

they felt a bit fowl

Wednesday haiku

 It's so hot today  

when I have ice cream, even  

the cone is melting

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot today  

I'm considering ice cube  

suppositories

Monday haiku

It's so hot today  

I at least have a reason  

to strip down naked

Weekend haiku

It's so hot today  

the devil visited our  

town just to warm up  

---------------------------  

It's so hot today  

popsicles have become a  

vital new food group

Friday haiku

It's so hot today  

every room in my house has  

become a sauna

Thursday haiku

It's so hot today  

all of the lakes and oceans  

have become hot tubs

Wednesday haiku

It's so hot today  

when I stepped onto the street  

my shoes caught fire

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot today  

we must save all of the ice  

cream and chocolate

Thursday haiku

It's so hot today  

over a hundred, even  

the shade is sweating

Wednesday haiku

It's so hot today  

even Republicans now  

admit the globe's warm

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot today  

hummingbirds flying around  

are sweating nectar

Monday haiku

It's so hot today  

Guns n Roses admit their  

flowers have wilted

Weekend haiku

It's so hot today  

if you fried an egg on the  

sidewalk, it would burn  

---------------------------------  

It's so hot today  

outside is the oven and  

we are the muffins

Friday haiku

If we're supposed to  

be spending time with family,  

why are we alone?

Thursday haiku

Broken foot and a  

plastic boot leads to a less  

than perfect summer

Wednesday haiku

If I never get  

a tattoo, will that somehow  

make me less awesome?

Tuesday haiku

The non-passenger  

steam train shudders down the tracks  

because it's a freight

Monday haiku

When Bill and his friends  

get together, they become  

just one big dumb guy

Weekend haiku

 Home alone, just like  

Macaulay Culkin, except  

I'm in my fifties  

---------------------------------  

Home alone, just like  

Kevin, except I've got gray  

hair and credit cards

Friday haiku

With all the swelling  

and bruising on my broken  

foot, it looks like Shrek's

Thursday haiku

For July 4th, some  

people don't need fireworks,  

they have family

Wednesday haiku

Mark Hamill will not  

vote for Trump, as he'd rather  

lose his hand again

Tuesday haiku

George Takei will not  

vote for Trump, as he'd prefer  

to shout out, "Oh Bye!"

Monday haiku

 Garfield will not vote  

for Trump, as he doesn't like  

to be grabbed that way

Weekend haiku

Scott Baio will vote  

for Trump because, even now,  

he's still a Chachi  

-----------------------------------  

Rob Schneider will vote  

for Donald as he is friends  

with the Trumpmeister

Friday haiku

Kathy Griffin will  

not vote for Trump, though she does  

prefer him a head

Thursday haiku

Zsa Zsa Gabor will  

not vote for Trump because she's  

dead, but still voting

Wednesday haiku

The New York Times will  

not vote for Donald because  

"Trump is Real Bad News"

Tuesday haiku

The pen hovering  

over the paper, all while  

the blank space taunts you

Monday haiku

Giuliani will  

vote for Trump, because at some  

point he lost his spine

Weekend haiku

They say, "A fool and  

his money are soon parted."   

Fireworks are proof  

-------------------------------  

Waiting for others  

to do their job so you can  

do yours feels like work

Friday haiku

If we're not meant to  

have late night snacks, why is there  

a light in the fridge?

Thursday haiku

The dinosaurs won't  

ever win a war because  

they're extinct, silly!

Wednesday haiku

The dinosaurs won't  

ever win a war because  

they have little arms

Tuesday haiku

Community is  

the folks who accept and love  

you just as you are

Monday haiku

Today, we seem to  

be living between storms, the  

rains pause as we pass

Friday haiku

She told a hat joke,  

but I have to admit, it  

went over my head

Thursday haiku

To prepare for his  

first child, Bill's not sleeping, and  

staining all his clothes

Wednesday haiku

My father says, "At  

some point, getting older is  

more dare than option."

Tuesday haiku

They say, "No one is  

above the law", but if you're  

rich enough, you'll float

Monday haiku

Trump uses Pecker  

to deny putting pecker  

inside a porn star

Weekend haiku

The Grim Reaper finds  

out their life will be short, and  

they let out a scythe  

--------------------------------------  

The zebra has been  

captured, behind bars, the stripes  

feel appropriate

Friday haiku

The chief surgeon finds  

out her life will be short, and  

it cuts like a knife

Thursday haiku

The ode writer finds  

out her life will be short and  

she goes on and on

Wednesday haiku

The brain surgeon finds  

out their life will be short, and  

it's unthinkable

Tuesday haiku

The hand surgeon finds  

out her life will be short, and  

gives life the finger

Monday haiku

The book writer finds  

out his life will be short, and  

he can't find the words

Weekend haiku

Haiku poet finds  

out life indeed can be short.  

Irony ensues  

---------------------------------  

The actor finds out  

that his life will be short and  

the drama begins

Friday haiku

Hall and Oates are now  

fighting over their songs. So  

much for harmony

Thursday haiku

When you have someone  

who believes in you that much,  

you can't help but try

Wednesday haiku

Her biggest gift is  

not how much she has done, but  

how much she believes

Tuesday haiku

To see my mentor  

once more, her smile reminding  

me I'm almost there

Memorial Day haiku

 Memorial Day:  

To celebrate all those who  

gave their all for us

Weekend haiku

I've always thought a  

cat party would feature more  

of a smooth Jazz vibe  

-----------------------------------  

I don't know who he  

is, or why he haunts me, but  

I hate his cigars

Friday haiku

Jerry says, "Be an  

expert at one thing, not just  

fine with lots of things"

Thursday haiku

Sun's out, sky is blue  

but there's a chill in the air.  

False advertising!

Wednesday haiku

Gardens and poems  

can both be home to beauty  

or full of compost

Tuesday haiku

With this child, our chance  

of any extra minutes  

of sleep is now gone

Monday haiku

Employee for three  

decades, wages barely more  

than a fast food cook

Weekend haiku

I've got your picture,  

and she's got you, but I've found  

the picture's better  

------------------------------------------  

You should be yourself,  

it happens to be the part  

you were born to play

Friday haiku

Anybody who thought  

O.J. would give a deathbed  

confession was wrong

Thursday haiku

In Willy Wonka,  

Violet didn't die, but she  

was depressed a while

Wednesday haiku

When McCartney feels  

lonely, he knows he can still  

wish upon a Starr

Tuesday haiku

Yep, it's my birthday,  

Yep, I'm older. It sure beats  

the alternative

Monday haiku

The clouds clear after  

the eclipse, once the sun stops  

putting on a show

Weekend haiku

The chiropractor  

adjusts people's backs, but he  

makes them pay up front  

-------------------------------------  

To all the Mothers,  

and even all the Muthas,  

today is your day!

Friday haiku

I'm waiting for her  

outside the Chiropractor.  

It's an adjustment.

Thursday haiku

Morgan threw a chair  

off a roof because someone  

told him to sit down

Wednesday haiku

Any decision  

made after five drinks will be  

a bad decision

Tuesday haiku

Karaoke is  

great when drunk, embarrassing  

once you are sober

Monday haiku

Unlike the eclipse,  

stay away from Julie's path  

of totality

Weekend haiku

The only person  

you should critique is yourself.  

Even then, be kind.  

--------------------------------------  

Just like the eclipse,  

you shouldn't look directly  

at Courtney either

Friday haiku

Scottish Proverb: If  

a man says he'll buy this round,  

get the money first

Thursday haiku

Scottish Proverb: If  

a man brags he just got laid,  

check his kilt for wool

Wednesday haiku

Scottish Proverb: If  

you want to stand tall and proud,  

you need a long kilt

Tuesday haiku

Scottish Proverb: To  

make haggis, you need to have  

the stomach for it

Monday haiku

A Scottish Proverb:  

If you don't have the guts, you  

can't make the haggis 

Weekend haiku

Pastrytarian  

Bakery Church: Yes, we pass  

the plate here as well  

-----------------------------------  

It's not the size of  

the church that counts, it is the  

congregation's heart

Friday haiku

Pastrytarian  

Bakery Church: Where it's our  

bread dough that's risen

Thursday haiku

Pastrytarian  

Bakery Church: Julia  

Child wrote our bible

Wednesday haiku

Pastrytarian  

Bakery Church: The only  

cross is on our buns

Tuesday haiku

Pastrytarian  

Bakery Church: We are the  

true Holy Rollers!

Monday haiku

Pastrytarian  

Bakery Church: We pray to  

a higher flour

Weekend haiku

Republicans tend  

to take everything, leaving  

Liberals what's left  

---------------------------------  

Pastrytarian  

Bakery Church: We know how  

to put buns in pews

Friday haiku

Republicans may  

not always be smart, but they  

are in their right mind

Thursday haiku

When traveling, I  

tend to find one of the best 

parts is coming home

Wednesday haiku

I didn't go to  

the new Louisville Slugger  

Factory: no balls

Tuesday haiku

Louisville Slugger  

Factory messed up by not  

installing swing doors

Monday haiku

This morning's walk in  

Louisville was better than  

a cup of coffee

Weekend haiku

Up before the sun,  

staring at the horizon  

my morning commute  

----------------------------  

Another day means  

another distillery.  

Hey, that's the spirit!

Friday haiku

Up before the sun,  

staring at the horizon,  

and wondering why

Thursday haiku

Up before the sun,  

staring at the horizon,  

waiting for this day

Wednesday haiku

Looking out over  

Louisville, I hope that it's  

looking out for me

Tuesday haiku

She said she was all  

ears, but used her mouth to say  

it, so that's not right

Monday haiku

She said she was all  

ears, but based on her outfit,  

there are other parts

Weekend haiku

When Jason Biggs made  

love to that baked good, would he  

be pie-sexual?  

------------------------------------------  

Heading to Detroit  

to spend time with a friend.  No,  

it's not Eminem.  

Friday haiku

Memorizing all  

those numbers after the three,  

I'm Pi-curious

Thursday haiku

I'd rather vote for  

the old guy than vote for a  

criminal liar

Wednesday haiku

Yes, experience  

matters for President, but  

these guys are just old

Tuesday haiku

Getting older, I  

find my body's less temple,  

more reclamation 

Monday haiku

I must admit my  

whisper can be louder than  

most people's shouting

Weekend haiku

"It's a marvelous  

night for a migraine" is not  

by Van Morrison  

-----------------------------------  

I'll be manning the  

non-electrified fort since  

they cut our power

Friday haiku

You've been banned to sing  

the music in your heart, as  

it's operatic

Thursday haiku

 Taking a break to  

recharge the batteries, I'll  

be back in one week

Wednesday haiku

It's okay for me  

to sing at events, as I'm  

not a fat lady

Tuesday haiku

Instead of walking  

in my shoes, she wants to wear  

my skin. Um...no thanks!

Monday haiku

 I'm no longer in  

mint condition, the box was  

opened long ago

Weekend haiku

I am no longer  

in mint condition, but she  

loves me just the same  

-------------------------------  

I'm no longer in  

mint condition, well played with,  

but my value's up

Friday haiku

Sometimes, collections  

of discordant noise can be  

music. Sometimes not.

Thursday haiku

Jesus loves you, but  

only because he has to.  

He thinks you're a dick!

Wednesday haiku

After six boxes,  

I claim these Girl Scout cookies  

are so NOT Thin Mints

Tuesday haiku

Those who have walked with  

you on life's long road may not  

reach the end with you

Monday haiku

Last week, I bought five  

boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  

I need Samoa!

Weekend haiku

In your driveway, you  

never want the medical  

examiner van  

-----------------------------  

With Trump found guilty  

of libel for millions, he's  

found out talk's not cheap

Friday haiku

The poem waits so  

patiently now for it's next  

chance to shine, to glow

Thursday haiku

A flock of black birds  

singing their loud songs, raising  

a crowcawphony

Wednesday haiku

All poets have a  

small bit of ink and graphite  

running through their veins

Tuesday haiku

Now at seventy-  

eight years old, I find it hard  

to call him Neil Young

Monday haiku

It feels like it's so  

easy to rile folks up now,  

which makes me angry

Weekend haiku

When you realize  

your scrotum and face are twins,  

you are truly old  

-----------------------------------  

The older we get,  

the less natural wood left.  

We shouldn't waste it!

Friday haiku

Sure, my wrinkles and  

gray hair show my true age, but  

inside I'm still twelve

Thursday haiku

How is it my friends  

keep getting older, while I  

haven't aged a day?

Wednesday haiku

 

Who is Marty Grass,  

and why do they celebrate  

him in New Orleans?

Tuesday haiku

There was a Super  

Bowl ad promoting Jesus.  

Holy commercial!

Monday haiku

I'm just saying Bill's  

had more big encounters with  

the Police than Sting

Weekend haiku

The rain creates a  

million windshield diamonds, while  

my pocket's empty  

-----------------------------------------------  

She sings about the  

rumors so truthfully, you  

can tell they are lies

Friday haiku

When the frog flashes  

you a peace sign, you should stop  

smoking lily pads

Thursday haiku

I have never seen  

Bigfoot, but I smelled him once  

and that's close enough

Wednesday haiku

At this moment, you  

are the youngest that you will  

ever be again

Tuesday haiku

Some watch the Super  

Bowl for the commercials, while  

I watch for halftime

Monday haiku

Watching the Super  

Bowl alone, no one can hear  

me yell at the refs

Weekend haiku

She asks me if she  

looks tired. There's no way I'm  

falling for that one  

----------------------------------------  

The restaurant is  

packed. I'm eating by myself.  

I pretend I'm not.

Friday haiku

In a restaurant  

by myself, which means I can  

order the dessert

Thursday haiku

In a restaurant  

by myself, which means there is  

no one to judge me

Wednesday haiku

 I wrote her five love  

poems!  Unfortunately,  

they were limericks.

Tuesday haiku

Sometimes a life comes  

into yours to remind you  

to keep on living

Monday haiku

When you wear your heart  

on your sleeve, somebody is  

going to steal it

Weekend haiku

Knowing when to let  

go sometimes means holding on  

tight, screaming, "Not yet!"  

---------------------------------------  

Pot smokers believe  

the Super Bowl shouldn't have  

artificial grass

Friday haiku

If I'm lucky, the  

words will stop flowing a week  

after I am gone

Thursday haiku

I've now been inside  

Bezos' Balls. They're quite large,  

lush and very warm

Wednesday haiku

How good the weather  

can all depend some days on  

which window I look

Tuesday haiku

Coworkers downsized,  

while I'm still here, the same size,  

though I feel smaller

Monday haiku

Microsoft Teams is  

down, so we'll communicate  

by phone, like cavemen

Weekend haiku

Instead of getting  

guardian angels, I need  

coordination  

-------------------------------  

Getting older may  

not be all great, but it beats  

the alternative

Friday haiku

 The lights flickering,  

reminding me I'm just one  

stiff breeze from darkness

Thursday haiku

 This song reminds me  

you're no longer here, you've left  

us.  I love this song!

Wednesday haiku

I have a scar in  

my eye, so my macula  

must be part pirate

Tuesday haiku

If I hear one more  

Mister Roger's joke, I'll hit  

you with my loafers

Monday haiku

In picking out my  

new pair of glasses, I find  

out I have been framed

Weekend haiku

My fingers and toes  

are numb. It's either cold, or  

please call the doctor  

-----------------------------------  

The sexy model  

in the cute glasses makes me  

rethink my contacts

Friday haiku

The bottom row of  

the vision chart spelled out, "U  

C A N T C"

Thursday haiku

At the eye doctor,  

they said I did well, and I  

was a good pupil 

Wednesday haiku

The duck doctor lost  

his practice quickly as folks  

said he was a quack

Tuesday haiku

A divine cup of  

coffee can make you feel like  

you just might survive

Monday haiku

Casino is the  

Indian word meaning, "Leave  

all your money here."

Weekend haiku

If someone says, "If  

that's what you want to do," don't  

do it. It's a trap!!  

---------------------------------------   

That strange noise late at  

night is just one of our cats.  

What else would it be?

Friday haiku

We are flexible.  

We have always done it this  

way and you should too!

Thursday haiku

Sometimes deciding  

what to wear to face the day  

just means pajamas

Wednesday haiku

Writing haiku in  

bed, trying not to get ink  

on the comforter

Tuesday haiku

There are mornings when  

rolling over or facing  

the day takes some thought

Monday haiku

I had a dream too,  

but I was naked in school,  

so his is better

Weekend haiku

Spider web covered  

in morning frost; she has caught  

a feast of dewdrops  

--------------------------------------  

A slow start to the  

morning means less daylight, but  

far more open eyes

Friday haiku

To escape the drugs  

that were killing him, they gave  

him drugs that killed him

Thursday haiku

I don't know where to  

begin, how to begin, so  

I'll start at the end

Wednesday haiku

Sometimes, words will play  

"You Can't Catch Me", and they are  

usually right

Tuesday haiku

She must be hungry  

because she's chewing her words  

before they escape

Monday haiku

Sinuses clogged, head  

full of wet cloth, I wonder  

when will I be well

Weekend haiku

The network had rules  

for PeeWee's skin color: Paul's  

Pallor Policy  

-----------------------------------  

She wouldn't describe  

"rizz", saying if we didn't  

know, then we had none

Friday haiku

Recognizing my  

insecurities somehow  

makes me more secure

Thursday haiku

I shouldn't blame you  

for breaking my heart, I did  

put it in your hands

Wednesday haiku

Resolutions are  

made January 1st, and  

broken weeks later

Tuesday haiku

New Year's Eve fireworks  

in a heavy fog, end up  

as just sound effects

Monday haiku

All is quiet on  

New Year's Day; well, all except  

for Bono singing