Wednesday haiku

 It's so hot today  

when I have ice cream, even  

the cone is melting

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot today  

I'm considering ice cube  

suppositories

Monday haiku

It's so hot today  

I at least have a reason  

to strip down naked

Weekend haiku

It's so hot today  

the devil visited our  

town just to warm up  

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It's so hot today  

popsicles have become a  

vital new food group

Friday haiku

It's so hot today  

every room in my house has  

become a sauna

Thursday haiku

It's so hot today  

all of the lakes and oceans  

have become hot tubs

Wednesday haiku

It's so hot today  

when I stepped onto the street  

my shoes caught fire

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot today  

we must save all of the ice  

cream and chocolate

Thursday haiku

It's so hot today  

over a hundred, even  

the shade is sweating

Wednesday haiku

It's so hot today  

even Republicans now  

admit the globe's warm

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot today  

hummingbirds flying around  

are sweating nectar

Monday haiku

It's so hot today  

Guns n Roses admit their  

flowers have wilted

Weekend haiku

It's so hot today  

if you fried an egg on the  

sidewalk, it would burn  

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It's so hot today  

outside is the oven and  

we are the muffins

Friday haiku

If we're supposed to  

be spending time with family,  

why are we alone?

Thursday haiku

Broken foot and a  

plastic boot leads to a less  

than perfect summer

Wednesday haiku

If I never get  

a tattoo, will that somehow  

make me less awesome?

Tuesday haiku

The non-passenger  

steam train shudders down the tracks  

because it's a freight

Monday haiku

When Bill and his friends  

get together, they become  

just one big dumb guy

Weekend haiku

 Home alone, just like  

Macaulay Culkin, except  

I'm in my fifties  

---------------------------------  

Home alone, just like  

Kevin, except I've got gray  

hair and credit cards

Friday haiku

With all the swelling  

and bruising on my broken  

foot, it looks like Shrek's

Thursday haiku

For July 4th, some  

people don't need fireworks,  

they have family

Wednesday haiku

Mark Hamill will not  

vote for Trump, as he'd rather  

lose his hand again

Tuesday haiku

George Takei will not  

vote for Trump, as he'd prefer  

to shout out, "Oh Bye!"

Monday haiku

 Garfield will not vote  

for Trump, as he doesn't like  

to be grabbed that way