Weekend haiku

 The classified ads  

at the back of The Stranger  

remind me I'm bland  

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Teddy Pendergrass  

was a singer, because he  

couldn't do stand-up

Friday haiku

She said she brought change,  

but despite my high hopes, our  

government remains

Thursday haiku

 Every time I see  

a cat, I want to ask, "What's  

New?"  Damn you, Tom Jones!

Wednesday haiku

Women envy the  

penis because they know most  

men don't use it right

Tuesday haiku

When you're a new dad,  

conversations change from sports  

to diapers and sleep

Monday haiku

The nun didn't like  

committing sins, but she did  

so out of habit

Weekend haiku

It's not the length  

of your penis that matters...  

I lie, it's the length  

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The number of chefs  

can be detrimental to  

the broth's quality