Weekend haiku

At work, we had pie
for breakfast, so for dinner,
I'm thinking oatmeal 

---------------------------- 

Strangely enough, the
Lone Wolf Club now has over
one million members

Friday haiku

A rut is something
we should all try to escape,
maybe tomorrow

Thursday haiku

In his tooth, Bill had
sensitivity, feelings
he wasn't used to

Wednesday haiku

He gave his helpers
false teeth because he wanted
indentured servants

Tuesday haiku

She may not like her
dentist very much, but she
does like getting drilled

Monday haiku

He poured his Merlot
into her Chardonnay glass
just to make her blush

Weekend haiku

She makes me better
than I am, much like Lennon
did for McCartney 

__________________ 

Jolted to life by
bolts of electricity,
Frank has storms within

Friday haiku

I'm old-fashioned, I
guess, I prefer subtlety
from all of my stalkers

Thursday's haiku

Having kids ages
you ten years; with teenagers,
it's at least twenty

Wednesday's haiku

I always get a
funny taste in my mouth when
I tell a good joke

Tuesday's haiku

Standing up, it's straight up
sex, but when you're bent over,
it's innuendo

Monday haiku

The night was so cold,
and her skirt was so short, her
lips were turning blue

Weekend haiku

I have found that the
longer I work here, the less
people that I know 

---------------------------- 

Retirement seems
less personal decision,
more business need

Friday's haiku

She wanted him to
"man up", but at five foot one,
she knew he couldn't

Thursday's haiku

Bruce hates change, but he
knows, getting older, he soon
will be getting changed

Wednesday's haiku

Yes Billy, putting
your Jesus statue in a
bag is sacrilege

Tuesday's haiku

Dave found he's deathly
afraid of pink sweaters; he's
angoraphobic

Monday haiku

Thinking outside the
box is good, unless you are
a toy collector

Weekend Haiku

Luckily for me,
I happened to be outside
when I imploded 

----------------------- 

I have never liked
spumoni. It tastes like the
fruitcake of ice creams

Friday Haiku

Leaving the boat, I
find that my disembark is
far worse than my bite

Thursday Haiku

The main asset for
a man with three legs is a
steady camera

Wednesday Haiku

The key problem for
a man with three legs must be
trying to buy pants

Tuesday's Haiku

In case of fire, break
glass, paint graffiti, commit
some vandalism

Monday haiku

She's with me tonight,
and I hold her close, while I
dread tomorrow's light

Weekend haiku

"Contact reception
for help; contact deception
for no help.  Thank you!" 

------------------------------ 

He stares towards the
horizon, wishing, but it
never gets closer

Friday's haiku

Gray whales may not be
like James Bond, but they do love
a view to a krill