Monday's haiku

Root vegetables
are mostly apathetic,
some don't carrot all

Weekend haiku

The T.V. station
devoted to perfume is
channel number five

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A word of advice:
Take it from me, don't ask if
Connie is pregnant

Friday's haiku

I've begun to have
disillusions of grandeur
when it comes to Gayle

Thursday's haiku

As per the Mayans,
the world ends after my big
math test.  Damn Mayans!

Wednesday's haiku

Gambling is God's
way of saying you must have
money you don't want

Tuesday's haiku

His blue, puffy coat
makes Brian look like a tall
Smurf bodybuilder

Monday's haiku

Billy's teeth are so
crooked, one of them became
a politician