Friday haiku

After Julie's failed
suicide attempt, David
bought her a Nerf gun

Thursday haiku

Bill wanted to buy
stupid insurance, but the
premium's too high

Wednesday haiku

Starting a week back,
out with a weak back, laid flat,
now wants her week back

Tuesday haiku

Dieting, Bill vows
not to eat the cookies, just
the chocolate chips

Monday haiku

Big thrift store fans, my
folks hear, "Peace on earth, good will
to man" differently

Weekend haiku

Donald Trump's chances
of being president are
thinner than his hair

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Trump's deportation
force surprisingly starts with
Rosie O'Donnell

Friday haiku

Janice must be a
heartbreaker, because she is
full of pettiness