Weekend haiku

John's so two-faced, I
swear if you shaved his head, you'd
see the second one 

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Photography is
so much of his life, he sees
it in four by six

Friday's haiku

She hugs her legs close
to her chest because she is
a knee-dy person

Thursday's haiku

Bruce's limp makes it
look like he's always running
on uneven ground

Wednesday's haiku

Her hair's so curly,
running your fingers through it
is like a hand maze

Tuesday's haiku

Insulting Bic pens
becomes another dissed ink
possibility

Monday's haiku

Why is it even
the most fit athletes will try
to find the shortcut?

Weekend haiku

Her cornrows are so
tight, it's like a facelift, though
without any scars 

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Sometimes the shady
people are the ones who aren't
sitting in the sun

Friday's haiku

Our summer may have
arrived late, but it's beauty
is well worth the wait

Thursday's haiku

Her face is lovely
like a rose; her attitude,
like the thorns beneath

Wednesday's haiku

If the car behind
me gets any closer, I'm
going to need lube

Tuesday's haiku

I just saw Mom in
the hospital and must ask,
"Who stepped on a crack?"

Monday's haiku

Her lips said no, but
her eyes said nothing because
eyes can't speak, silly

Weekend haiku

The volume in the
room always decreases when
Anthony walks in 

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For three weeks straight, John
ate at a café he hates
because Kim works there

Friday's haiku

Her smile almost hides
the fact that she could care less
who the hell you are

Thursday's haiku

Yes, the flag may be
faded, but it's still flying
high, and that's what counts

Wednesday's haiku

I'm not saying she's
fat, but she's much taller when
she's horizontal

Tuesday's haiku

On really hot days,
the crow will sometimes daydream
about being white

Monday's haiku

The surgery went
well, except for the fact she
now has a penis

Weekend haiku

Seattle's summer
set a new record, lasting
almost five full days 

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For the spider's sake,
I didn't tell Suzanne it
was right above her

Friday's haiku

The health food bar is
far less healthy when it's been
dipped in chocolate

Thursday's haiku

The picnic blanket
is all that remains from the
giant ant attack

Wednesday's haiku

He could sell ice cubes
to Eskimos; too bad he
doesn't sell ice cubes

Tuesday's haiku

You can never have
too much of a real good thing,
except for whiskey

Monday's haiku

Everyone who walks
in the rain looks like they have
mild scoliosis

Weekend haiku

"The beer at the bar
last night tasted like piss!" "Dude,
you were in the john." 

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Jill may have missed the
ferry, but Martha would not
let her miss the boat

Friday's haiku

I eat alone, which
makes sense as I am locked up
in solitary

Thursday's haiku

Raindrops keep falling
on my head, which must mean that
I need a new roof