Weekend haiku

If you don't want all
the men staring at you, put
your clothes back on, Dear

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Slutty and Southern,
Julie's the girl who put the
harlot in Charlotte

Friday haiku

All Winter, the sun
only seems to come out when
I must go back in

Thursday haiku

Coffee Stout: the beer
to both start your morning and
finish off your night

Wednesday haiku

Coffee companies
have created a game: Cards
Against Lipton Tea

Tuesday haiku

With my great big nose,
I have found there's no such thing
as too much cocaine

Monday haiku

Pleasing yourself with
cucumbers is better than
a Durian fruit

Weekend haiku

I asked her to the
Prince concert, when she said, "Prince
who?", I said, "Goodbye!"

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Pleasing yourself with
cucumbers just proves you're a
vegetarian