Weekend haiku

 The smell of something  

burning coming from your fan  

means you'll be warm soon  

-------------------------------------  

I'm lonely, and you're  

lonely, so why can't we be  

lonely together?

Friday haiku

 The smell of something  

burning coming from your fan  

is not a good sign

Thursday haiku

They kept marching on,  

walking, not knowing where they  

were headed, or why  

Wednesday haiku

 Christmas traditions  

tend to be broken only  

when they're forced to be

Tuesday haiku

You know the magic's  

gone, when for Christmas, she does  

not want your package

Christmas haiku

Driving back home on  

Christmas Day, clear roads will be  

the best gift of all

Weekend haiku

Christmas Eve morning,  

the best gift she gave me was  

the chance to sleep in  

-------------------------------------  

Newberg: where the streets  

close up at five; on Christmas  

Eve, closer to four

Friday haiku

I love the Solstice  

because, I admit, I'm still  

afraid of the dark

Thursday haiku

Able to sound like  

James Earl Jones in Star Wars, Bill's  

a Master Vader

Wednesday haiku

Able to put worms  

on hooks in record time, Bill's  

a Master Baiter

Tuesday haiku

"Jeans aren't conducive  

to prostitution", she said,  

but how does she know?

Monday haiku

Matthew Perry has  

passed away, could the news BE  

any more tragic

Weekend haiku

Matthew Perry has  

passed away, so all of us  

now have one less friend  

--------------------------------  

Matthew Perry has  

passed away, and so now he  

can't be there for us

Friday haiku

Staring at the pair  

of dice, he then realized  

his genie was deaf

Thursday haiku

The stubborn leaves wave  

to me from bare branches, to  

urge me to hang on

Wednesday haiku

I'm so happy the  

weekend is near, I'm willing  

to start it early

Tuesday haiku

I don't know where to  

begin, how to begin, so  

I won't start quite yet

Monday haiku

Pure sunshine in late  

November is a treasure  

not to be wasted

Weekend haiku

With Winter's first freeze,  

banana leaves shrivel and  

shrink, a stranger here  

----------------------------------  

Poets trying to  

write down their deepest thoughts, but  

must come up for air

Friday haiku

The city asked me  

to hand over my birds, but  

I don't give a flock

Thursday haiku

Staying healthy seems  

to be more expensive than  

letting myself go

Wednesday haiku

The Healthcare system  

sure seems to have forgotten  

about health and care

Tuesday haiku

Getting a vaccine  

and flu shot takes more effort  

than just being sick

Monday haiku

The moon is jealous  

of how you shine and glow with  

darkness all around

Weekend haiku

She said I had the  

voice of an angle, and I  

knew I'd been obtuse  

-------------------------------  

Sleeping in can be  

the second or third best thing  

you can do in bed

Friday haiku

I believe we should  

be less about our race, and  

more about our care

Thursday haiku

You may be a girl  

with a biblical name, but  

you are the devil

Wednesday haiku

I apologize  

for this song about the end  

of the world. It's sad!

Tuesday haiku

I may be a bit  

old for an all-ages show.  

I screw up the curve.

Monday haiku

I may be a bit  

old for an all-ages show.  

I'm creepy old guy!

Weekend haiku

Blue sky October,  

I'll relish the sun before  

gray sky November  

--------------------------------  

The blue sky reminds  

me I don't look forward to  

the storms that will come

Friday haiku

Blue sky October,  

even Mother Nature won't  

admit Summer's gone

Thanksgiving haiku

He has plenty to  

be thankful for: family, friends,  

dogs and Doctor Who

Wednesday haiku

Blue sky October,  

sun low on the horizon,  

some warmth still lingers  

Tuesday haiku

It may be a new  

laptop, but I'm still having  

the same old problems

Monday haiku

Sometimes, the leaf gets  

to decide when it's time to  

pull away and fall

Weekend haiku

Knife handling skills  

can lead you to becoming  

a chopaholic  

-------------------------------  

When you're chopping up  

vegetables, it can get  

a little dicey

Friday haiku

Looking back, I see  

I was Mister Give, while she  

truly was Miss Take

Thursday haiku

 The restaurant's called  

"The Nest". I'm worried who  

will chew my food first

Wednesday haiku

Cherry blossoms fall  

earlier than normal, they  

know Bob Redmond's gone

Tuesday haiku

Disappointment looms,  

my team is not good this year,  

yet maybe, maybe

Monday haiku

 Nobody wants to  

smell the dumpster while they are  

enjoying the meal

Weekend haiku

I would move mountains  

for you, so let me know where  

you want them moved to  

-------------------------------------  

The creek trickles slow,  

meandering the forest.  

All the frogs are gone

Friday haiku

The cat had transformed,  

meowing so loudly she  

had made herself horse

Thursday haiku

She may be wearing  

a rainbow skirt, but her mood  

is more like storm clouds

Wednesday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

brand new line of beer handle  

products: "It's a Tap!"

Tuesday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

brand new line of women's health  

products: "It's a Pap!"

Monday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

brand new line of tortilla  

sandwich: "It's a Wrap!"

Weekend haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

brand new line of camera  

holders: "It's a Strap!"  

--------------------------------  

Admiral Ackbar's  

got a new line of coffee  

drink blends: "It's a Frappe!"

Friday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

got a new line of Christmas  

paper: "It's a Wrap!"

Thursday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

got a new line of knitted  

headwear: "It's a cap!"

Wednesday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

got a new line of maple  

syrups: "It's a Sap!"

Tuesday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

new line of recycling  

places: "It's a Scrap!"

Monday haiku

Admiral Ackbar's  

brand new line of manure  

products: It's A Crap!

Weekend haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

should find religion  

----------------------------  

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

should have a towel

Friday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, I  

will bring the whiskey

Thursday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

better be ready

Wednesday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, don't  

panic! Oh, wait. Do!

Tuesday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you'll  

kiss your butt goodbye

Monday haiku

In the event of  

a real emergency, you  

better run like hell

Weekend haiku

I'm so groggy this  

morning, I wrote a haiku  

with too many syllables  

-----------------------------  

I forgot my book,  

so now I must create all  

of the words myself

Friday haiku

Pink has postponed her  

concerts here. We'll wait to get  

the party started

Thursday haiku

Narcissism and  

greed trump humanity, so  

our planet is doomed

Wednesday haiku

Sleeping with your spouse,  

farting under the bedsheets  

is an act of war

Tuesday haiku

The last one hundred  

miles of biking felt like it  

was a century

Monday haiku

Another day done,  

while the next one looms nearby,  

waiting for it's turn

Weekend haiku

PTO means you  

better prepare the others  

as I won't be there  

----------------------------

Lahaina is gone,  

the banyan tree damaged, but  

the tourists still come

Friday haiku

She says whiskey will  

likely ruin my life, but  

I think I need proof

Thursday haiku

Not only are we  

not on the same page, I don't  

think it's the same book

Wednesday haiku

Bill Walton's stream of  

consciousness now seems to be  

a bit polluted

Tuesday haiku

It's so hot here, my  

oven told Mother Nature,  

"Okay, fine, you win!"

Monday haiku

It's so hot here, Ben  

and Jerry's is now selling  

Chunky Monkey Soup

Weekend haiku

It's so hot here in  

Seattle, tomorrow is  

already sweating  

---------------------------  

It's so hot here right  

now, my deodorant gave  

it's two weeks notice

Friday haiku

This Monday arrives  

with four checked bags and a purse  

It's not leaving soon

Thursday haiku

Sandpipers race back  

and forth, ahead of the waves,  

while an eagle rests

Wednesday haiku

Watching the ceiling  

fan spin round and round, it's too  

active this morning

Tuesday haiku

You did your best to  

make me look bad. I don't need  

any help with that.

Monday haiku

It's my fault really,  

that while hugging me, you then  

stabbed me in the back

Break haiku

Going to take a  

break to rest and reflect, be  

back again soon!

Weekend haiku

Empathy is not  

so great when everyone near  

you is suffering  

----------------------------------  

Just because there are  

long hairs on my chin doesn't  

make me your scapegoat

Friday haiku

The moon finally  

makes an appearance, just as  

the sun starts shining

Thursday haiku

Tonight is our last  

meal together, which is sad.  

Oh wait, there's breakfast!

Wednesday haiku

If I am ever  

late for dinner, you can bet  

that I'm likely dead

Tuesday haiku

If ice cream before  

dinner spoils my appetite,  

I'm okay with that

Monday haiku

Robins seem to be  

in a perpetual state  

of panic and fear

Weekend haiku

Today is the beach,  

the sand, the ocean, and I  

can't wait to jump in  

----------------------------  

You'll eat this because  

I say so, oh, and it is  

also good for you

Friday haiku

These mosquitos are  

buzzing my head far more than  

this beer ever will

Thursday haiku

Just to be clear, I  

could do this forever, but  

I just don't want to

Wednesday haiku

The log trucks on the  

nearby highway remind me  

this peace is short-lived

Tuesday haiku

These bones, as weary  

as they may be, still have some  

adventure in them

Monday haiku

This breeze, though it has  

no taste, no flavor at all,  

is just delicious

Weekend haiku

The highway's constant  

hum is not a tune, I'd like  

to sing along to  

-----------------------------  

The Elwa River,  

no longer dammed, flows freely,  

almost heavenly

Friday haiku

There's just a slight chill  

to the morning air, letting  

us know Fall is near

Thursday haiku

Punk shows next to the  

highway should pay passing cars  

some residuals

Wednesday haiku

I still love her with  

all my heart, but recently,  

it takes more effort

Tuesday haiku

I may not be a  

hippy, but I do dress like  

one almost daily

Monday haiku

When words have become  

valuable again, I will  

invest in silence

Weekend haiku

 Before she can take  

care of others, she must first  

take care of herself  

---------------------------------  

Sunday afternoon,

sunshine, a good book, and beer  

make this heavenly

Friday haiku

I sat in the shade  

for an hour, as I knew  

the sun was coming

Thursday haiku

Washingtonians  

need a few days of sunshine  

to burn off the moss

Wednesday haiku

 The sun's up, blue sky,  

birds singing, and yet, inside  

my heart, it's raining

Tuesday haiku

Car camping: Because  

you want to sleep in the woods,  

but with loud neighbors

Monday haiku

 Camping: Because a  

television, king bed and  

roof is for sissies

Weekend haiku

Camping: Just a thin  

layer of fabric between  

you and animals  

--------------------------------  

Camping: Because you  

find sleeping at home is far  

too comfortable

Friday haiku

Once the Zen Buddhist  

achieved nirvana, he was  

then seen everywhere

Thursday haiku

The Zen Buddhist placed  

his coffee order, "Make me  

one with everything"

Wednesday haiku

One moon shines on the  

lake, but when I drop a stone  

in, a thousand moons

Tuesday haiku

Please Kanye, get back  

on your medication. We  

know this isn't you

Monday haiku

I ate so many  

fries yesterday, I think my  

rear end now has eyes

Weekend haiku

In Portland for one  

more night, then depart the Rose  

for the Emerald  

---------------------------------------  

I ate so much food  

yesterday, I think today  

will go by so fast

Friday haiku

After a day of  

spotty showers, sun appears  

in it's own spotlight

Thursday haiku

Forecast is spotty  

showers, so pick a spot where  

the showers are not

Wednesday haiku

After visiting  

the home of the Rat King, I  

found I wanted cheese

Tuesday haiku

On the naked bike  

ride, I'm the one cyclist  

that is fully clothed

Monday haiku

She proudly showed me  

her birthday suit, but it needs  

a good ironing

Weekend haiku

She's left me for a  

cheesemaker, so I'm certain,  

she's gone for gouda  

------------------------------------  

I'm writing this down,  

this thought is now rooted, stuck,  

no longer can fly

Friday haiku

I stare at the door,  

watching for movement, waiting  

for her to arrive

Thursday haiku

Olivia Newton  

John has passed, and now our tears  

are multiplying

Wednesday haiku

In a trailer park  

called "Paradise", nobody  

feels like they've made it

Tuesday haiku

I will never grow  

up, but if I'm gonna grow  

old, I will with you

Monday haiku

In the breeze of a  

clear blue day, I still somehow  

feel fuzzy and stale

Weekend haiku

This cool morning air  

before the heat of the day  

is my favorite  

---------------------------------  

Sometimes a person  

must travel far away to  

appreciate home

Monday haiku

Even if a long  

weekend had six days, it would  

not be long enough

Weekend haiku

When the morning comes,  

sometimes last night's events will  

still be echoing  

------------------------------------------  

The clouds have returned,  

unwanted guests, who will stay  

longer than we like

Friday haiku

Sometimes, the bright light  

of the midday sun is the  

last thing that you need

Thursday haiku

I'm staying in a  

million dollar home, and yet  

still feel like white trash

Wednesday haiku

He loves tequila,  

and sometimes, if he drinks too  

much, it loves him back

Tuesday haiku

Tomorrow is high  

tea and finger sandwiches,  

then a big dinner

Monday haiku

There are times I talk  

to someone I'd never talk  

to, and that's okay

Weekend haiku

When you're a sponge for  

human emotion, sometimes  

you should be wrung out  

----------------------------------  

Those days when you feel  

desperation reigns supreme,  

sometimes there's candy

Friday haiku

As I stare into  

the night sky, I see no stars,  

just inky blackness

Thursday haiku

She says she didn't  

flip me off, but I still see  

her middle finger

Wednesday haiku

Palm fronds in a less  

than tropical region does  

not fool anyone

Tuesday haiku

Floating jellyfish,  

orange, gross, gelatinous,  

looks more like vomit

Monday haiku

I said two prayers,  

one for each voice in my head  

and a third for me

Weekend haiku

Her phone on vibrate,  

the rhythm when a call comes  

is so damn funky  

-------------------------------------  

Blue sky and sunshine  

feel like they're being wasted  

while I'm stuck inside

Friday haiku

Multilingual kids  

can speak at least one or more  

languages than me

Thursday haiku

 Anniversaries  

are rewards for stubbornness  

or extreme patience

Wednesday haiku

Before you can love  

others, you must first sing a  

love song to yourself

Tuesday haiku

What wine goes best with  

embarrassment? My guess is  

a blush or rose'

Monday haiku

Cocaine was found in  

the West Wing; I guess that's why  

it's called the White House

Weekend haiku

You can teach an old  

dog a new trick, they just might  

not want to learn it  

-------------------------------------  

Anxiety dreams  

and nightmares make going to  

sleep less enticing

Friday haiku

I would tell myself,  

"Stop drinking so much", but I  

don't listen to drunks

Thursday haiku

Asked for my secret  

to a lasting marriage, I  

said, "a patient spouse".

Wednesday haiku

I can rarely tell  

which day I'll be the puppet  

or the puppeteer

Tuesday haiku

The Fourth of July:  

The one holiday disliked  

by both pets and vets

Monday haiku

 He says his name is  

Ernest, but it feels to me  

like he's faking it

Weekend haiku

 Why do we go back  

and forth when all I want is  

to go in and out  

--------------------------------

A small yellow bird  

hopping from branch to branch while

I can barely move

Friday haiku

 I tend to repeat  

myself when I've been drinking.  

I tend to repeat...

Thursday haiku

There are dozens of  

nasty voices in my head,  

and a few nice ones

Wednesday haiku

I'm waiting for the  

phone to ring, though I'm hoping  

that it never does

Tuesday haiku

I've given away  

all of my old batteries;  

they were free of charge

Monday haiku

Everyone says I'm  

stubborn, but I disagree  

every single time

Weekend haiku

When you're still fighting  

a war, it's hard to hold a  

victory parade  

--------------------------------  

To start a garden,  

grow anything at all, you  

must first dig a hole

Friday haiku

Spring is almost here,  

two months late, warming our bones.  

We'll take each second

Thursday haiku

Torn page, near the back  

of my journal, almost ripped  

out, I'll still use it

Wednesday haiku

For their wedding night,  

the bride and groom did what you'd  

expect they did: slept

Tuesday haiku

A long weekend in  

Victoria never seems  

to be long enough

Monday haiku

The choir filled the  

church with joyous song, and yet  

I remained empty

Weekend haiku

Sitting in a church,  

hoping I don't burst into  

flames. I'm feeling hot.  

---------------------------------  

Sitting in a church,  

hoping I, and the building,  

don't burst into flames

Friday haiku

In a land where the  

eagle is common, we seek  

what for us is rare

Thursday haiku

We scan the flat sea,  

searching for anything that  

will break up the gray

Wednesday haiku

The sky gray, the sea  

gray, the divide a thin line  

on the horizon

Tuesday haiku

Getting my hair cut,  

to look more respectable,  

maybe a little

Monday haiku

If you close your eyes,  

the world may disappear, but  

it won't go away

Weekend haiku

Long ago, I was  

a self-centered narcissist,  

but now look at me  

--------------------------------  

When you are hungry,  

it's the only thing that your  

head will focus on

Friday haiku

Tim Tebow's book of  

devotionals, kneeling on  

their coffee table

Thursday haiku

Sunday morning comes,  

meaning Saturday night has  

passed, and Monday looms

Wednesday haiku

Staying in a room  

with guns, bows and bullets, I  

somehow feel less safe

Tuesday haiku

Staying in a room  

with guns, bows and bullets, I  

may not fall asleep

Monday haiku

 Glass shatters, explodes  

across the floor, little bits  

scatter like children

Weekend haiku

If a platypus  

isn't an alien, an  

octopus must be  

---------------------  

Over the years, I've  

found friends are the family  

that you get to choose

Friday haiku

 For drummers at a  

certain level, Starr power  

is measured in Watts

Thursday haiku

 Sometimes syllables  

add up to more than their count,  

and sometimes they don't

Wednesday haiku

They say he's got a  

heart of gold, forgetting gold  

is cold and heavy

Tuesday haiku

Disintegration:  

a great Cure album, and a  

zombie's worst nightmare

Monday haiku

I am less concerned  

about gender than I am  

hatred and bias

Weekend haiku

Your gender is not  

concerning or threatening  

me in any way  

----------------------------------  

The gender that makes  

you comfortable makes me  

comfortable too

Friday haiku

This day is laid out  

before me, options galore,  

and yet I just sit

Thursday haiku

His birthday now passed,  

he may not celebrate, but  

hopes it's not his last

Wednesday haiku

Today needs Mary  

Jane, a whiskey shot, and a  

glass of chardonnay

Tuesday haiku

When I find myself,  

learn to love myself, I can  

begin to love you

Monday haiku

Wes still lusts over  

Terri Nunn, singing in the  

Metro of his heart

Weekend haiku

Sasquatch is hiding  

because he knows someone wants  

to serve him papers  

--------------------------------------  

The discovery  

of love, always a surprise,  

is worth searching for

Friday haiku

Henry's erotic  

painting is more comical,  

and less sexual

Thursday haiku

Sometimes I'm able  

to keep all the plates spinning,  

and sometimes I'm not

Wednesday haiku

Californians are  

not used to this much snow, since  

this can't be snorted

Tuesday haiku

There's so much snow in  

California, and this time,  

I don't mean cocaine

Monday haiku

The older I get,  

the less I know, which feels like  

the wrong direction

Weekend haiku

For the carnival  

rides, games and farm animals,  

it is fair weather  

---------------------------------------  

I'm another year  

older, none the wiser, and  

I'm okay with that

Friday haiku

Eating pizza in  

a Greek restaurant feels so  

wrong, but tastes so right

Thursday haiku

Jack always sounds like  

he's smoked a lot of ganja;  

it makes me jealous

Wednesday haiku

At the goth Dunkin  

Donuts, the coffee's always  

as black as your soul

Tuesday haiku

Jill's superpower  

is to make all her insults  

sound like compliments

Monday haiku

Bi Panda accepts  

themselves for being who they  

are: both black and white

Weekend haiku

I haven't done all  

I want to do, but there's still  

plenty of day left  

------------------------------------  

They named their rabbit  

"Coffee", because he leaves beans  

all over the floor

Friday haiku

Don't worry! Your beer  

supporting Trans rights doesn't  

somehow make you gay

Thursday haiku

 If you're not disturbed,  

you're not paying attention  

to what's happening

Wednesday haiku

I walk along the  

river, frightening the fish  

with my tall shadow

Tuesday haiku

There's so much to see  

in this town, when you visit,  

you'll need bigger eyes

Monday haiku

Kid Rock shot up his  

Bud Light, even though Coors is  

the silver bullet

Weekend haiku

One bad apple may  

not ruin the whole batch, but  

it sure does the pie  

-----------------------------------  

I got arrested  

for stealing people's phones. Now,  

I've got my own cell  

Friday haiku

Waiting for her to  

start her shower, so I can  

play amongst the drops

Thursday haiku

It's continuing  

to rain, so long, so strong, I  

should prepare the ark

Wednesday haiku

If you can hold back  

the lightning, I promise to  

hold back the thunder

Tuesday haiku

My voice, which I find  

to be just okay, seems to  

be in high demand

Monday haiku

When they say, "She's gone  

for good", I have found it is  

rarely positive

Weekend haiku

If you're complaining  

about the deep hole you're in,  

you should stop digging  

------------------------------------  

Due to inflation,  

and my age, my thoughts are at  

least worth a nickel

Friday haiku

Robot poems have  

less heart, more references  

to wires and facts

Thursday haiku

His heart felt like a  

snowman on a very hot  

day, melting away

Wednesday haiku

So many days of  

gray skies makes each moment of  

blue feel like a gift

Tuesday haiku

One hundred percent  

chance of rain tomorrow, so  

I'll be looking down

Monday haiku

Cherry blossoms are  

now in peak bloom, painting the  

whole neighborhood pink

Weekend haiku

I didn't think I'd    

miss him, but now that he's gone,  

I see that I don't  

--------------------------------------  

April showers do  

bring May flowers, but I would  

prefer sunflowers 

Friday haiku

Daffodil Parade,  

since the Skunk Cabbage Parade  

wasn't popular

Thursday haiku

The difference between  

immature and I'm mature  

is grammatical

Wednesday haiku

Her heart may be crushed,  

broken and beaten, but it  

still calls out for him

Tuesday haiku

I'm waiting in the  

parking garage for her so  

we can get going

Monday haiku

He had six shots of  

bourbon for Easter, and so  

now, he has fallen

Weekend haiku

Despite the name, the  

Baby Changing Station won't  

give you a new child  

-------------------------------------  

When Kid Rock purchased  

two cases of Bud Light, he  

made a Trans action

Friday haiku

When it rains on your  

vacation, you'll enjoy the  

sunshine even more

Thursday haiku

There's more beer in Port  

Moody than my liver or  

bladder can handle

Wednesday haiku

Brewers Row in Port  

Moody: More places than you  

should try in one day

Tuesday haiku

Skyscrapers on the  

horizon, reaching towards  

a blue they can't see

Monday haiku

It's impolite to  

ask bikini baristas  

for a bigger cup

Weekend haiku

 I'm writing an ode  

to our friendship!  HA! April  

Fools! It's a haiku.  

-----------------------------------  

The cute bikini  

barista hopes that you will  

tip her a latte

Friday haiku

Everyone believes  

the world revolves around them,    

but they're wrong, it's me

Thursday haiku

 Vacation begins,  

visiting a new country;  

first stop: McDonalds

Wednesday haiku

Vacation begins,  

no work for ten days, and yet  

I just want to sleep

Tuesday haiku

He drives like he owns  

the road, and based on his bank  

account, he doesn't

Monday haiku

 Due to Simon and  

Garfunkel, I could never  

trust a Cecilia

Weekend haiku

John Mellencamp may  

still fight authority, but  

it's old age that's won  

----------------------------  

As you get older,  

you'll find life's still short, even  

on the longest days

Friday haiku

With his wrinkles, John  

Mellencamp now has nothing  

to do with Cougars

Thursday haiku

He may now be John  

Mellencamp, but for me he'll  

always be Cougar

Wednesday haiku

Testing negative  

on all her Covid tests seems  

to be positive

Tuesday haiku

According to the  

Catholic Church, everything  

is apostle-ble

Monday haiku

Autotune makes bad  

singers sound like machines that  

can't sing very well

Weekend haiku

If I squint real hard  

I can see blue skies coming,  

so I'll keep squinting  

------------------------------------  

Comic-Con reminds  

me, while I'm nerdy, I am  

quite low on the scale

Friday haiku

Based on most men's rooms,  

and parking spaces, I will  

never go hunting

Thursday haiku

Waiting for Spring to  

arrive so I can, maybe,  

finally thaw out

Wednesday haiku

My toes are frozen  

and fingers numb, I guess I  

should turn up the heat

Tuesday haiku

Moving your wedding  

date up usually means  

a bump in your plans

Monday haiku

 February snows  

remind you Winter can last  

a really long time

Weekend haiku

There are some evenings  

when "Just one more row" can mean  

knitting until dawn  

---------------------------------------------  

Cheesecake Factory:  

where the menu's thicker than  

the novels you've read

Friday haiku

There are some evenings  

where the need to stay awake  

is greater than sleep

Thursday haiku

Spending my day off  

in a car dealership. I  

know how to party!

Wednesday haiku

There are some evenings  

when the decisions you made  

were not your best moves

Tuesday haiku

There are some evenings  

when you want to go out, but  

your brain says, "Stay home!"

Monday haiku

There are some evenings  

when you want to go out, but  

your body says, "no!"

Weekend haiku

There will come a night  

when the choice you make will change  

your life. No pressure.  

---------------------------------------------------  

There are some evenings  

when you work to perfect your  

slug imitation

Friday haiku

There are some mornings  

when the pains of last night have  

eased, but not by much

Thursday haiku

Hummingbird buzzes  

by this rainy day, brings some  

color to my gray

Wednesday haiku

Waiting for my next  

meeting to begin, hoping  

I'll soon be set free

Tuesday haiku

Blue sky hints sunshine,  

dark clouds on the horizon  

cannot take a hint

Monday haiku

As a kid, the best  

part of a motel stay was  

the "Magic Fingers"

Weekend haiku

Madonna's face is  

so taut and wrinkle-free, I  

think she ironed it  

------------------------------

Is it ageist and  

misogynistic to loathe  

plastic surgery? 

Friday haiku

Megan married a  

carpenter, because he's so  

skilled at tongue in groove

Thursday haiku

Why are we surprised  

by his sour opinions?  

His last name's Lemon.

Wednesday haiku

In the shower, I  

wash away the night, and let  

the morning seep in

Tuesday haiku

There are some mornings  

when I try to ignore it,  

but that doesn't work

Monday haiku

 I'm guessing it is  

President's Day, as I keep  

spending all of mine

Weekend haiku

There are some mornings  

when my bladder determines  

when the day begins  

------------------------------------  

There are some mornings  

when the bed is so warm, the  

decision's easy

Friday haiku

There are some mornings  

where I wake up alert. Wait,   

those never happen

Thursday haiku

There are some mornings  

when a poem wakes me up  

and begs to be born

Wednesday haiku

There are some mornings  

when I just don't care about  

what needs to be done

Tuesday haiku

 There are some mornings  

where the night before feels like  

a bad idea

Monday haiku

There are some mornings  

when the alarm is so loud  

it wakes up the sun

Weekend haiku

There are some mornings  

when the cats will let us sleep  

in, but those are few  

------------------------------------  

There are some mornings  

when even the sun doesn't  

want this to start yet

Friday haiku

There are some mornings  

when just getting up out of  

bed is a triumph

Thursday haiku

There are some mornings  

when you just can't open your  

eyes, but you have to

Wednesday haiku

There are some mornings  

where even the shower feels  

like an enemy

Tuesday haiku

There are some mornings  

when heart and head disagree  

on how to begin

Monday haiku

There are some mornings  

when the night before was just  

an hour ago

Weekend haiku

There are some mornings  

when the night before reminds  

you of what you've done  

----------------------------------  

There are some mornings  

when the night before reminds  

you that this must stop

Friday haiku

There are some mornings  

when the day begins whether  

you want it or not

Thursday haiku

There are some mornings  

where you face the day, even  

though you don't want to

Wednesday haiku

There are some mornings  

when it is better to sleep  

until afternoon

Tuesday haiku

Julie asked me to  

be civil, so I filed a  

lawsuit against her

Monday haiku

I don't understand  

calling your loved one "Honey",  

since it's bee vomit

Weekend haiku

Let the darkness come  

Let the light embrace the sea  

Let the night begin  

----------------------------------  

If you happen to  

see me running towards you,  

something bad's coming

Friday haiku

I wasn't sure who  

had made me so sick, but I  

wanted them to die

Thursday haiku

Bill fell into a  

vat of molten copper. I  

heard that it smelt bad

Wednesday haiku

 Internet outage  

in your area. Email  

us for more info.

Tuesday haiku

At home, half of us  

are in love, the other half  

are packing their bags

Monday haiku

I am the king of  

lonely, castle deserted,  

no one left to rule

Weekend haiku

Hard times are coming,  

so prepare while you can! Damn,  

they're already here  

----------------------------------------  

All I ever want  

is to see her smile.  I wish  

it was more often

Friday haiku

The Grim Reaper came  

and said, "I have bad news!" I  

replied, "Get in line!"

Thursday haiku

In the morning, I'm  

less beacon of clarity,  

more numb fog zombie

Wednesday haiku

Each oil change at the  

dealership always finds more  

costly things to fix

Tuesday haiku

Each visit with my  

folks could be the last, as their    

or my time lessens

Monday haiku

Calico cats seem  

to be painted by someone  

with ADHD

Weekend haiku

Tuxedo is my  

cat's breed, so it is always  

better dressed than me  

--------------------------------  

I adopted two  

cats that look alike, so I'm  

guessing Siamese

Friday haiku

My cat's now wearing  

slimming underwear. Yes, I  

put my Manx in Spanx

Thursday haiku

Based on how much my  

cat sleeps, I'm guessing the breed  

is Himalayan 

Wednesday haiku

Based on the sound that  

all cats make, I would have bet  

they were all Persians

Tuesday haiku

Both Americans  

and British have short hair cats.  

Hippies have long hair

Monday haiku

Her giant cat is  

a Maine Coon. I must have one  

of the Minor Coons

Weekend haiku

When I asked my cat  

if she was a saint, she said,  

"Abyssinian"  

--------------------------------  

My cat doesn't watch  

me at all times, but she does  

keep tabbies on me

Friday haiku

Rudolph decided  

to try stand-up comedy.  

He lit up the place!

Thursday haiku

Santa decided  

to try stand-up comedy.  

I hear he sleighed it

Wednesday haiku

Three days past New Year's,  

my resolution's broken.  

Better luck next year!

Tuesday haiku

Two days past New Year's,  

my resolution's broken.  

That's a new record!

Monday haiku

It's the day after  

New Year's, the resolution  

already broken