Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Wednesday haiku

Bill likes December
thirty-first, because he can
say, "See you next year!"

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Tuesday haiku

I'm not even sure
Tinactin can help you if
you have mistletoe

Monday, December 29, 2014

Monday haiku

Bill, desperate for
affection, put mistletoe
on his belt buckle

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Weekend haiku

Parents visiting,
William will not be getting
nooky for Christmas 


Meeting his ex-wife,
Bill put sprigs of mistletoe
in his back pocket

Friday, December 26, 2014

Friday haiku

The presents open,
wrapping paper everywhere,
that is the cat's gift

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Christmas haiku

Santa called out to
the three prostitutes, "Ho! Ho!
Ho! Merry Christmas!"

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Wednesday haiku

Jill's Santa hat has
leopard print fur, and she shouts
out, "Ho! Ho! Me-OW!"

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Tuesday haiku

Holiday light beer
drinkers are always dreaming
of a Wit Christmas

Monday, December 22, 2014

Monday haiku

If your lips are cold,
you can meet me under the
sprig of mistletoe

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Weekend haiku

We are all under
the weather, though some are more
under than others 


Julie's closet looks
like a thrift store without tags,
and less organized

Friday, December 19, 2014

Friday haiku

Not understanding
how folds work, Bill crumples up
his map every time

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Thursday haiku

Bill thinks newspapers
would be far less boring if
they had more pictures

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Wednesday haiku

Find God's match for you,
using the same tool people
use to find their porn

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Tuesday haiku

I don't see a lot
of chips on the highway, but
there's plenty of dips

Monday, December 15, 2014

Monday haiku

Circumcision jokes
are not funny, and for some
a true tipping point

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Weekend haiku

There is no Z in
team and nobody has all
their teeth in hockey 


A fork in the road
gives you either a choice or
dirty silverware

Friday, December 12, 2014

Friday haiku

Don't let anyone
tell you you know nothing. Well,
except maybe me

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Thursday haiku

Black is beautiful
is the general rule, but
John's the exception

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Wednesday haiku

We choose not to have
children, as neither of us
want to share our toys

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Tuesday haiku

Hello Martians! I've
heard Mars needs women. Please take
my mother-in-law

Monday, December 8, 2014

Monday haiku

In my life, she is
the secret password into
all the world's closed doors

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Weekend haiku

We celebrate the
small things as the large ones seem


She questioned why she
had a tailbone, I replied,
"We all still monkeys."

Friday, December 5, 2014

Friday haiku

Not a compliment
to a poet, "You're even
better with numbers."

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Thursday haiku

He has to beg for
sex, which means a more awkward
sign on the offramp

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Wednesday haiku

She's drawn to him like
a magnet, as she too is
also a magnet

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Tuesday haiku

contests are bad for people
with low self-esteem

Monday, December 1, 2014

Monday haiku

The pony knew he
was catching a cold, as he
was a little horse