Saturday, August 31, 2013

Weekend haiku

John's so two-faced, I
swear if you shaved his head, you'd
see the second one 


Photography is
so much of his life, he sees
it in four by six

Friday, August 30, 2013

Friday's haiku

She hugs her legs close
to her chest because she is
a knee-dy person

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Thursday's haiku

Bruce's limp makes it
look like he's always running
on uneven ground

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Wednesday's haiku

Her hair's so curly,
running your fingers through it
is like a hand maze

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Tuesday's haiku

Insulting Bic pens
becomes another dissed ink

Monday, August 26, 2013

Monday's haiku

Why is it even
the most fit athletes will try
to find the shortcut?

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Weekend haiku

Her cornrows are so
tight, it's like a facelift, though
without any scars 


Sometimes the shady
people are the ones who aren't
sitting in the sun

Friday, August 23, 2013

Friday's haiku

Our summer may have
arrived late, but it's beauty
is well worth the wait

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Thursday's haiku

Her face is lovely
like a rose; her attitude,
like the thorns beneath

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday's haiku

If the car behind
me gets any closer, I'm
going to need lube

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Tuesday's haiku

I just saw Mom in
the hospital and must ask,
"Who stepped on a crack?"

Monday, August 19, 2013

Monday's haiku

Her lips said no, but
her eyes said nothing because
eyes can't speak, silly

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Weekend haiku

The volume in the
room always decreases when
Anthony walks in 


For three weeks straight, John
ate at a café he hates
because Kim works there

Friday, August 16, 2013

Friday's haiku

Her smile almost hides
the fact that she could care less
who the hell you are

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Thursday's haiku

Yes, the flag may be
faded, but it's still flying
high, and that's what counts

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wednesday's haiku

I'm not saying she's
fat, but she's much taller when
she's horizontal

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Tuesday's haiku

On really hot days,
the crow will sometimes daydream
about being white

Monday, August 12, 2013

Monday's haiku

The surgery went
well, except for the fact she
now has a penis

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Weekend haiku

Seattle's summer
set a new record, lasting
almost five full days 


For the spider's sake,
I didn't tell Suzanne it
was right above her

Friday, August 9, 2013

Friday's haiku

The health food bar is
far less healthy when it's been
dipped in chocolate

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Thursday's haiku

The picnic blanket
is all that remains from the
giant ant attack

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wednesday's haiku

He could sell ice cubes
to Eskimos; too bad he
doesn't sell ice cubes

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Tuesday's haiku

You can never have
too much of a real good thing,
except for whiskey

Monday, August 5, 2013

Monday's haiku

Everyone who walks
in the rain looks like they have
mild scoliosis

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Weekend haiku

"The beer at the bar
last night tasted like piss!" "Dude,
you were in the john." 


Jill may have missed the
ferry, but Martha would not
let her miss the boat

Friday, August 2, 2013

Friday's haiku

I eat alone, which
makes sense as I am locked up
in solitary

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Thursday's haiku

Raindrops keep falling
on my head, which must mean that
I need a new roof