Saturday, January 31, 2015

Weekend haiku

Hey! No more talking
about Tom Brady's balls: flat,
full or otherwise 


The only thing that's
underinflated about
Brady is his balls

Friday, January 30, 2015

Friday haiku

His team is Super
Bowl bound, but his checking
account keeps him home

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Thursday haiku

Cigar smoker drives
hybrid, now his emissions
are worse than the car

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Wednesday haiku

Lisa's back is sore
from constantly turning it
on all of her friends

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Tuesday haiku

I removed all the
cookies from my computer,
but not my diet

Monday, January 26, 2015

Monday haiku

While love is never
having to say you're sorry,
marriage is always

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Weekend haiku

"Cunnilingus gave
me cancer," Mike said; it was
a slip of the tongue 


I removed all the
cookies from my computer;
it still runs crummy

Friday, January 23, 2015

Friday haiku

Her mother may not
have a license, but she can
drive Sheila to drink

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Thursday haiku

Nobody wanted
to duel with whiskey, as
he was a good shot

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Wednesday haiku

The bartender did
not want to serve the gun, but
he gave it a shot

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Tuesday haiku

At the massage school,
Edward lays down first as it's
nice to be kneaded

Monday, January 19, 2015

Monday haiku

Theodore's sleeveless
sweater makes him secure, as
he is invested

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Weekend haiku

At the cutlery
store, she's desperately in
need of a good fork 


When you come to a
fork in the road, look for the
knife and spoon to match

Friday, January 16, 2015

Friday haiku

She fondled her fork,
and it made all the other
cutlery jealous

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Thursday haiku

Nobody has tried
her cherry pie, though most have
seen it on the sill

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Wednesday Haiku

Mohammed seems nice
enough, but his team sure hates
the paparazzi

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Tuesday haiku

for my sister, each day in
our house, the son shines

Monday, January 12, 2015

Monday haiku

The sign read, "Training
Event in Session", but I
don't see any tracks

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Weekend haiku

"Fuc" he yelled through his
bandages, and thus the start
of the Mummy's curse 


John's so out of shape,
standing next to his car trunk,
he gets exhausted

Friday, January 9, 2015

Friday haiku

The squirrels scamper
about, not learning a thing
from the grasshopper

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Thursday haiku

Every passing car
is disappointment on wheels
as I wait for her

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Wednesday haiku

Long strands of spider
silk on the summer breeze all
seem to find my face

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Tuesday haiku

After a long day
at work, Friday afternoon
sun feels like freedom

Monday, January 5, 2015

Monday haiku

Bit by a hippo,
he knew he now had the best
scar story ever

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Weekend haiku

Customer service
at some businesses is just
a nice idea 


She tried to use her
eyes to tell him something that
her mouth just couldn't

Friday, January 2, 2015

Friday haiku

New Year's Day is the
time to look forward, not at
the past, like last night

Thursday, January 1, 2015

New Year's Day haiku

New Year's Day is the
time to look forward, since you've
forgotten last night