Weekend haiku

I'm a lion and  

you're a cheetah. Do you want  

to mountain lion?  

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White tailed deer now have  

Covid. How will they get masks  

over their antlers?

Friday haiku

Don't fall in love with  

the Tin Man, he has no heart!  

Love me, the Scarecrow

Thursday haiku

We are all tiny  

candles in this darkness, rage  

for each dimming light

Wednesday haiku

Playing "Four Horsemen  

of The Apocalypse", I'm  

always Pestilence

Tuesday haiku

The adult sex shop  

has parking in the back, and  

rear entry only

Monday haiku

Bill finds Breaking Bad  

less a cautionary tale,  

more instructional

Weekend haiku

Keeping it in the  

family is good for business,  

but bad for breeding  

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The president says  

he doesn't know the Proud Boys.  

Sounds like a white lie.

Friday haiku

Admit it!  You're not  

sorry for what you did, you're  

sorry you got caught

Thursday haiku

Jill didn't like the  

Stradivarius, as she's  

not prone to violins

Wednesday haiku

They claimed they had "The  

best margaritas in town!", not  

noting the only

Tuesday haiku

If you're lucky, and  

the weather is dry, you are  

better off than me

Monday haiku

Pasticle: The drip  

of glue between pastie and  

skin that oozes out

Weekend haiku

I don't like the term  

bisexual, I prefer  

ambisextrous  

--------------------------  

Trumb: When you're willing  

to vote for a narcissist   

and racist boob...twice!

Friday haiku

Thord: While making love,  

you, and your wife, fantasize  

about Chris Hemsworth

Thursday haiku

If you find that life  

gives you melons, it means life  

is out of lemons

Wednesday haiku

If you find that life  

gives you melons, it is most  

likely spellcheck's fault

Tuesday haiku

Thumbs together, palms  

down, fingers flapping wild, my  

God, his bird does fly!

Monday haiku

Darius Rucker  

is his name, but for me he'll   

always be Hootie

Weekend haiku

Most of my organs  

talk to each other, while my  

heart only murmurs  

----------------------------  

We've been together  

thirty years, but we still kiss  

like it's New Year's Eve

Friday haiku

Two ducks, like feathered  

bullets, shoot through the sky, to  

an unknown target

Thursday haiku

Covid-19 is  

mysterious and cruel, just  

like most teenagers

Wednesday haiku

Relaxing on the  

seat near the trail, I knew I  

had resting bench face

Tuesday haiku

The truck driver spent  

his entire life looking  

for the mud flap girl

Monday haiku

If you're going to  

share the same headspace, you should  

both wear a helmet

Weekend haiku

We're still the home of  

the brave, but land of the free?  

My wallet says, "No"  

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Fireworks are like  

hustlers: pretty, but then  

BANG, your money's gone

Friday haiku

The getaway man  

was jailed, and his Corvette was  

incarcerated

Thursday haiku

The farmer, digging  

a post hole, was roughed up, robbed,  

and left disheveled