Tuesday haiku

If Malcolm had been 
a government employee, 
he'd have been Fed-X

Monday haiku

Bill may have a small 
car, but he calls his co-pilot 
dog his Land Rover

Weekend haiku

The threats to cripple
our government are linked to
homegrown Trumporists

---------------------------------

Jed's a cross between
Papa Smurf, the Seven Dwarf's Doc,
and Peter Pan's Smee

Friday haiku

Humans may not have  

obvious panels, but we're   

all solar-powered

Thursday haiku

Gerald buys a new 
calendar each year, just so 
he's guaranteed dates

Wednesday haiku

As you study the 
painting, you find the image
is studying you

Tuesday haiku

The more times you go 
outside, the more the outside 
will be inside you

Monday haiku

My temporary 
tattoo read, "I'm an artist",
but then it faded

Weekend haiku

Not understanding 
how nachos are made, Billy 
had brought chocolate chips 

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In Portugal, this 
vegetarian fell for 
the black pork sandwich

Friday haiku

Most politicians 
believe they're elected to 
do what's right (for them)

Thursday haiku

For a good liar, 
they believe that everything 
they say is the truth

Wednesday haiku

Old may be all in 
my mind, but my arthritis 
sure begs to differ

Tuesday haiku

Old is a sliding 
scale, always ten years or more 
than you are right now

Monday haiku

As they sewed pant legs 
and laughed, Sally yelled, "There's no 
time to hem and ha!"

Weekend haiku

The stinky pirate 
was just one of the worst high 
school mascots ever 

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The crows sang a song 
without any music, it 
was cawcapella

Friday haiku

Cherry blossoms in 
bloom, still cold and wet, doesn't 
really feel like Spring

Thursday haiku

In the shadows, there 
are creatures watching you, just 
waiting for a chance

Wednesday haiku

The devil claps once, 
the flames come on, the devil 
claps twice, they're off

Tuesday haiku

Rain drips off the palm 
trees, reminding us it's not 
always paradise

Monday haiku

The sun shining on 
my face, God's Spotlight, I feel 
guilty just because

Weekend haiku

The pasta smells so 
good, even my elbow growls 
appreciation 

----------------------------------- 

Trump doesn't have a 
dog, as keeping it in a 
kennel would be cruel

Friday haiku

Children's artwork just 
reminds me I need a new 
refrigerator

Thursday haiku

Angry Jewish kid 
tried to slam his fist against 
the bar, but mitzvahed

Wednesday haiku

I'm patriotic 
for my country, but not for 
the man leading it

Tuesday haiku

Scarlett Johanson 
is getting divorced. So wait, 
I still have a chance??

Monday haiku

Consistently, he 
finds everything in his life 
is inconsistent