Monday, July 24, 2017

Monday haiku

When you have the flu,
neither your body, mind, or
mood feels like flying

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Weekend haiku

The Karate Kid
Brazilian Special: thirty
bucks, wax on, wax off

-----------------------------

Ward didn't like June's
Brazilian, preferring she
leave it to Beaver

Friday, July 21, 2017

Friday haiku

With Fred Flintstone's big
feet, he always steps in the
Yabba Dabba Doo

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Thursday haiku

If I can ever
understand how people think,
I'll have lost my mind

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Wednesday haiku

It's tough to live with
ADHD because of
cats are so pretty

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Tuesday haiku

History repeats 
itself, as humans don't learn 
from it the first time

Monday, July 17, 2017

Monday haiku

The head lice like to
spend all of their vacation
time at their chapeau

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Weekend haiku

Raining in buckets,
I picked the wrong day to not
bring my water wings

-----------------------------------

If you can't tell your
head from a hole in the ground,
you'll bury your hats

Friday, July 14, 2017

Friday haiku

My priorities
are just never the same as
everyone else's

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Thursday haiku

When all the robins
arrive early, no one's late,
there's not enough worm

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Wednesday haiku

Wanting more from life,
Jill makes them ex's if they
don't make her say, "Oh!"

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Tuesday haiku

We're not common thieves,
we liberate items of
different ownership

Monday, July 10, 2017

Monday haiku

Parents tell kids, "Don't
eat with your fingers!", then serve
hot dogs and french fries

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Weekend haiku

Napoleon had
his weiner chopped off, so he
is a Bonaparte

-----------------------------------

C3 is P.O.'d,
R2D2, all because
of what BB8

Friday, July 7, 2017

Friday haiku

Hydroplaning down
wet highways, I think I need
a pilot's license

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Thursday haiku

Unemployed, needing
insurance, his girlfriend was
friends with benefits

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Wednesday haiku

The one thing better
than your last poem is the
one you're writing next

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Tuesday haiku

Strangely enough, for
some people, loud fireworks
causes waterworks

Monday, July 3, 2017

Monday haiku

Depression is just
God's way of telling you to
drink more alcohol

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Weekend haiku

Any blowtorch that
will work on cheap, subpar jobs
is acetylene

-------------------------------------

Digging for bones, while
everyone's serious, I
found this humerus