Saturday, December 31, 2011

Special Haiku

A true New Year's Day
resolution should at least
last the full first day

Weekend Haiku's

Blue sky only seen
through a closed window might as
well just be gray sky 

------------------------------------ 

Rock music should be
heard loud, and through car speakers,
with all windows down

Friday, December 30, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Wire artwork bent
to look like grass is sharper
than regular grass

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

The purse event was
for women only, nothing
with a sack allowed

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

When she fell, she blamed
the uneven ground, but really,
she is just clumsy

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

I wish you were here,
because now, being in your
house is trespassing

Monday, December 26, 2011

Monday's Haiku

I wish you were here,
because I was right, you did
not go to heaven

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Christmas is the time
to say I love you, and by
the way, where's my gift? 

--------------------------- 

In Seattle, we
sing the carol, "I'm Dreaming
of a Grey Christmas"

------------------------------ 

"Happy Holidays"
translates as "I just don't know
what you celebrate" 

------------------------------- 

Her mistletoe hat
must be broken, as no one's
tried to kiss her yet 

----------------------------- 

Christmas carols are
great fun, but should be left to
the professionals 

------------------------------- 

The wreath doesn't put
on a show, but it sure knows
how to take a bough

Friday, December 23, 2011

Friday Haiku

I wish you were here,
because I just realized
you have my money

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

I wish you were here,
because it's sunny where you
are and I'm jealous

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

I wish you were here.
No, not you, I meant the cute
brunette behind you

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

I wish you were here...
oh sorry, not you, I was
just singing Pink Floyd

Monday, December 19, 2011

Monday's Haiku

I wish you were here,
because talking to myself
seems kind of creepy

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

I wish you were here,
because we really should just
suffer together 

----------------------- 

I wish you were here,
because you're tall and you can
reach the upper shelves

Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday Haiku

I put sunshine in
my pocket to keep my hands
warm in December

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

I wish you were here,
because when it's only me,
it's masturbation

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

I wish you were here;
you're stronger, and would do much
better in prison

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

What doesn't kill you
makes you stronger, or maims you
past recognition

Monday, December 12, 2011

Monday's Haiku

I'd have you tell Kim
I said "Hello", but I'm not
speaking to her now

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

The helicopter
zooms above, as Sam wishes
he wasn't grounded 

---------------------- 

The Highland Games held
no thrills for Bill, since they did
not involve ganja

Friday, December 9, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Sunburned and sore, Liz
has decided to stay in
the shade this summer

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

They say this house must
be haunted, but the only
demons here are mine

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

I wear shorts all the
time not due to heat; my knees
are claustrophobic

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

She sneaks peeks at me,
not because she thinks I'm cute,
but because she knows

Monday, December 5, 2011

Monday's Haiku

The Scratches' baby
boy didn't like being called
a son of an itch

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Her dream job is the
one she knows nothing about
and not doing now 

---------------------------- 

Fresh mango mixed with
yogurt makes this cloudy day
feel more tropical

Friday, December 2, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Her hair's longer now,
but her personality's
still short and spiky

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

The pirate lost his
gold hoop, and so found himself
now earring impaired

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

The blind man was still
able to both A and B,
but no longer C

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Sometimes I think these
words are all I have left, so
then I stop writing

Monday, November 28, 2011

Monday's Haiku

The thrill of a big
adventure changes both scope
and cost as you age

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Both the turkey and
I got stuffed, but I got to
keep all my innards 

----------------------- 

Both the turkey and
I got stuffed, but I didn't
need a helping hand

Friday, November 25, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Thanksgiving is the
indian word for the phrase,
"I ate too damn much!" 

-------------------------- 

It's not tryptophan
that makes you sleepy, it's the
third and fourth helpings

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Everyone should be
giving thanks this special day,
except the turkey

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

As I fall, the light
shrinks from sun to moon to star,
until I can't see

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

The deeper in I
sink, the harder to get out,
the light a small dot

Monday, November 21, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Losing a friendship
means that one more connection
left port and set sail

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

The only reason
to wait a year for sex is
if she's seventeen 

-------------------- 

Four o' clock dead zone:
Too late for coffee, but too
soon for tequila

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday's Haiku

This summer, I'll fall
on the bed springs, hoping she
might let me winter

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

I looked for the creek
or the river in my couch,
finding just a spring

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

An umbrella is
just a small, temporary
roof with a handle

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

The one piece of used
furniture I'd never buy
is a strip club couch

Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Outdoor furniture
should not be used in the house,
unless you have kids

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

I would have to guess
that if snakes could speak, it would
be with a strong lisp 

----------------------------- 

Water lily blooms
are deep thinkers, always in
constant reflection

Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Beer, pot and sex are
proof that God loves us and wants
us to be happy

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Don't fear the empty
beer glass, see it as a chance
to begin anew

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Don't fear the empty
beer glass, see it as a chance
for brew fulfillment

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

You buy a beer and
you think it's yours, but it's just
a rental item

Monday, November 7, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Follow the person
who knows where they are going,
unless it's to Hell

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

If temperatures
are relative, hot must be
a distant cousin 

------------------------- 

The Miami boy
loved Seattle, but it was
weather dependent

Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday Haiku

God must be in cat's
heads because I've heard that the
devil's in the tails

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

The chef only cooked
pork chops, as he didn't feel
his job was at steak

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

The sirloin studied
Shakespeare's complete works, to be
both done and well read

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

If you get your news
from a newspaper, you will
always be behind

Monday, October 31, 2011

Monday's Haiku

They say this house must
be haunted, but the only
demons here are mine

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Nothing makes you move
faster than fear, angry bees,
or a full bladder 

------------------------- 

Newly promoted,
co-worker interactions
are different now

Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday's Haiku

She brags about her
daughter's photography so
much, I film over

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Headless mannequins
are terrible models for
top hats and glasses

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

She planted plastic
arms in her garden because
she wanted palm trees

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

She planted plastic
arms in her garden because
the heads didn't grow

Monday, October 24, 2011

Monday's Haiku

She planted plastic
arms in her garden just to
freak out her neighbors

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

She planted plastic
arms in her garden to get
a mannequin tree 

-------------------------

She planted plastic
arms in her garden because
legs would be too weird

Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Meetings on Friday
afternoon with your boss are
always unnerving

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

In Seattle, there's
never a chance we'd get a
sunshine overdose

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

You say you only
lie to those that you can't stand,
but you like me, right?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

The staff is starting
to all look they're Nineteen
Seventies roadies

Monday, October 17, 2011

Monday's Haiku

His eyes were so close
together, they really made
his nose feel crowded

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

An acquaintance is
someone you've met, a friend is
somebody you know 

--------------------------------- 

Your true home is not
where you live, but the place you
want to be buried

Monday, October 10, 2011

Friday's Haiku

It's going to be a week where getting time on my computer will be tough, so I'm posting Tuesday thru Friday's postings today.


You would think after
all these years, someone would know
Victoria's secret

Thursday's Haiku

It's going to be a week where getting time on my computer will be tough, so I'm posting Tuesday thru Friday's postings today.


Barbecue, a fresh
peach and ice cream are good foods
for fingerlicking

Wednesday's Haiku

It's going to be a week where getting time on my computer will be tough, so I'm posting Tuesday thru Friday's postings today.


Of all the people
you must lie to each day, know
I'm not one of them

Tuesday's Haiku

It's going to be a week where getting time on my computer will be tough, so I'm posting Tuesday thru Friday's postings today.

How can just one weed
in her well-tended garden
get her so riled up?

Monday's Haiku

The last haiku in
this book should be amazing,
instead, it's this one

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Like Danny Glover
in Lethal Weapon, I'm just
too old for this shit 

----------------------------- 

I'm so tired, the
bags under my eyes were charged
as my checked luggage

Friday, October 7, 2011

Friday's Haiku

With musicians, when
you say, "up by nine," you must
clarify, "a.m."

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Concert until two,
home by three, and work by eight,
but so worth the pain

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

A sunburned ankle
means you weren't wearing socks, and
your pants are too short

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

His smile was more a
requirement than something
his lips had wanted

Monday, October 3, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Commandment be damned,
I'd covet my neighbor's wife
if I wasn't gay

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

As a writer, she
was quirky, always having
a novel idea 

-------------------------- 

Her colorful dress
couldn't cover up her bland
personality

Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday's Haiku

The megaphone at
the writer's desk assisted
her with her volume

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

The gift of sidewalk
chalk made her giddy, so I
returned the diamond

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Viagra helps old
men have sex, acting as God's
invisible splint

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

When she runs, that girl
jiggles more than a jello
bowl in an earthquake

Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Poke fun of yourself,
because if you don't, someone
else most likely will

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

He asks her why she
doesn't blink during sex, she
replies, "There's no time" 

---------------------------- 

I have a lot of
sex, and I would have more, but
my hand gets tired

Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday's Haiku

He wears his hair long,
because girls like it and he
doesn't like scissors

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Feathered's a pretty
good hairstyle, unless it looks
like a peacock's butt

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Classes in math and
spelling are for those kids that
are bad at P.E.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

I may not run or
jog, but I exercise my
brain every day

Monday, September 19, 2011

Monday's Haiku

My hair's not getting
grayer, the darker hair just
isn't returning

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

They will laugh at you,
so don't let it stop you, just
laugh along with them 

----------------------------- 

They will laugh at you,
so don't let it stop you, just
make fun of them first

Friday, September 16, 2011

Friday's Haiku

"I don't want to bug
you," is what they say before
thy start bugging you

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

He said he didn't
want to interrupt, but then
realized he did

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Afternoon meetings
are the true reason that God
created caffeine

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

His Monday morning
pains remind him why he's too
old for the weekend

Monday, September 12, 2011

Monday's Haiku

I'd return to my
desk, except for the fact that
it's sunny out here

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Sunburns remind you
of the main reason spray tans
are so popular 

--------------------------- 

Her hemline is short
enough to entice, yet just
long enough to tease

Friday, September 9, 2011

Friday's Haiku

The green grass of June
quickly turns and becomes the
brown grass of July

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

The Fourth of July
celebrates our freedom to
blow some shit up good

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

It's okay to share
exactly how you feel with
us, unless you're sick

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

I'd be happier
with where I stood, if it was
not in the corner

Monday, September 5, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Please don't tell me that
everything's running smoothly
when I see the bumps

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

They've been married so
long, they look related, which
I hope isn't true 

-------------------------------

In summer months, a
sweater vest is warm and lives
up to it's title

Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday's Haiku

The crow peruses
the picnic tables, hoping
for sloppy eaters

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Sunburns remind you
that, despite their claims, there's no
such thing as sunblock

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

When they're all laughing,
I just wish that I was the
one that made the joke

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

With all of the crap
I've been getting at work, I
must be organic

Monday, August 29, 2011

Monday's Haiku

For me, a three day
weekend is three days of no
work getting finished

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

She said she was ill.
He thought cold or flu bug, but
she was sick of him 

---------------------------- 

She said she was ill,
and he soon found out that it
wasn't physical

Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday's Haiku

I cannot stop on
my long road to hell, as I
have not seen the sign

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

I eat plain yogurt,
as it's the only way I
get any culture

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

She'd rather eat lunch
in the rain than sit with me,
so I just let her

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

I bring my own lunch,
so if it tastes bad, I at
least know who to blame

Monday, August 22, 2011

Monday's Haiku

My best friend may not
be a genius, but he's got
lots of smarticles

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Bill is six foot six,
who knew it was possible
to stack crap that high 

------------------------ 

If opposites do
attract, when I am outside
I must be sunny

Friday, August 19, 2011

Friday's Haiku

That girl could suck a
small bird into her engines
at thirty five yards

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

I didn't need the
salad, but I did and I
have no vinagrettes

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

The one thing better
than being her denim would
be to be in 'em

Monday, August 15, 2011

Monday's Haiku

My sneakers creak so
badly, it makes their title
slightly ironic

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

I don't dislike the
blonde's personality, I
just like them darker 

---------------------- 

I keep her picture
in my wallet as it was
there when I bought it

Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday's Haiku

The cement mixer
likes his new job much better
as it's more concrete

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

I'd miss the sunshine
more if I ever got to
spend some time with it

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

The snacker and the
hacker found they were both fond
of bytes and chips

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Claustrophobia
is a bad feeling to have
if you're a sardine

Monday, August 8, 2011

Monday's Haiku

The clouds are moving
into the house right next door
to the heavy rains

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

She's chained to her desk,
but they gave her ten more links
for good behavior 

-------------------------------- 

Julie's not moving,
she just likes to keep all her
stuff in big boxes

Friday, August 5, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Wine may get better
with age, but Bernadette was
just getting older

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Her pheremones must
have curdled, as she attracts
just the bad cats now

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

When it comes to men,
she only seems to attract
the ones she don't want

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Her wide-eyed stare was
a silent call for help that
he just couldn't hear

Monday, August 1, 2011

Monday's Haiku

When you're name is made
up of two first names, you will
answer to either

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Our summer seems to
be being doled out slowly
in bite-sized segments 

------------------------- 

Work is like swimming
up a raging river with
no arms and one leg

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Alone for years now,
when she needed a man, she'd
reach for her drawer

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

She said she wanted
something hot for her birthday,
so she got a stove

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Her birthday's coming,
and since I'm low on money,
I'll just give her me

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Nobody really
relishes solitude 'til
they live without it

Monday, July 25, 2011

Monday's Haiku

I don't wish them harm,
but the flu or a stomach
virus would be fine

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Paddle swish, ball thonk,
I don't play a mean pinball;
I'd be better blind 

--------------------------- 

The sun shines, but I'll
stay inside, not wanting to
share it with others

Friday's Haiku

Hanging around the
winners. strangely, makes me feel
more like a loser

Thursday's Haiku

Porky is much less
happy with dinner, when he
hears it's a luau

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

I'm not offended
that he addressed us, "Ladies,
Gentlemen and James"

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

She likes to braid her
hair, which would be fine, if it
weren't from her armpits

Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Hangovers remind
you what your brain was warning
you about last night

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

He says he loves kids,
which completely explains the
restraining order 

-----------------------------

Who knows how warm it
is under the large maple
tree?  The shadow knows

Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday's Haiku

He carries his cat
everywhere, which is nice, but
it died late last year

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Sunshine caresses
would be best if not followed
by halogen's glare

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

She flips her hair, winks
and giggles, whch would be cute
if she weren't fifty

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

You know it's going
to be a rough day when your
in-box collapses

Monday, July 11, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Who invited Bob?
Like Sarah Palin, he's just
bad for this party

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

He found out the hard
way that you can't get milk from
water buffalo 

---------------------------- 

When it comes to fun
there's no such thing as too much,
just not near enough

Friday, July 8, 2011

Friday's Haiku

She hid the Twinkies
in a box of Ding-Dongs, since
she hates Ding-Dongs

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

His whole plan was to
eat a whole box of Twinkies
and stay up all night

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

The health food cafe's
most famous dish is Sparrow
Asparagus Quiche

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

The Fourth of July
celebrates our freedom to
blow some shit up good

Monday, July 4, 2011

Monday's Haiku

The scenic boat cruise
would be so much more scenic
if you weren't sleeping

Friday, July 1, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Her chiropractor
was always so willing to
take a crack at it 

-------------------

I love my city
even more when I see it
through a stranger's eyes

Friday's Haiku

When they start making
cod and oyster burgers, cows
better start swimming

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

He'd seen so many
eagles, that by noon, it was
just another bird

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

The fire department's
so small, it only puts out
heartburns and rugburns

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Went for some coffee.
Didn't want to wake you, so
we'll be back at noon

Monday, June 27, 2011

Monday's Haiku

They ate the whole pig,
everything but the squeal, which
they kept for later

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

His yard measures four
feet by four, just bigger than
his riding mower

------------------------------

If I loved the smell
of cut grass any more, I'd
likely be a goat

Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday's Haiku

"Wreck of the Edmund
Fitzgerald" is a bad choice
for a lap dance song

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

She couldn't replace
her father with other men
so she married him

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Leper colonies
are not places to say, "Slip
me some skin, brother!"

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Reality stars
are not really stars, and that's
not reality

Monday, June 20, 2011

Monday's Haiku

The doctor said I'd
need glasses for reading, so
I sold all my books

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Us Seattle-ites
are confused by the crayon
color called sky blue

---------------------------

It's bad to hear at
the leper colony, "He's
got your husband's nose."

Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday's Haiku

I'm not being a
prude, but a true threeway should
not involve your pet

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

She calls herself the
crazy cat girl, but she doesn't
have that many cats

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Anniversaries
are a reminder of the
choices you have made

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Under the stairs, I
can write with footstep rhythm's
accompaniment

Monday, June 13, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Seeing Paula's smile
reminded me just how much
I miss causing it

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Their lunch in the sun
over, they made it a long
afternoon meeting

------------------------

The gal who lived in
a large grocery bag was
real good in the sack

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Strangely, she had cat
hair on her clothes, chair and bed,
yet she had no pets

Thursday's Haiku

Cat hair on your clothes
shows you're loved a lot, and the
dog's not shedding yet

Wednesday's Haiku

He wears sunglasses
at night, not to be hip, but
because he is blind

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Like an old record
player with a lost needle,
I can't find my groove

Monday, June 6, 2011

Monday's Haiku

It may be a man
made creek and small pond out back,
but the ducks don't care

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

If lunch doesn't sit
well, maybe your stomach needs
better furniture

-------------------------------- 

If lunch doesn't sit
well, it likely won't stay, shake
or play dead either

Friday's Haiku

For a gal who hates
to give hugs, when needed, she
gives really good ones

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

If I die today,
I shouldn't have stayed in bed
all day yesterday

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

If they always wear
sunglasses, don't ask for their
help in the darkness

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

The conveyor belt
of life keeps moving, whether
you're on it or not

Monday, May 30, 2011

Monday's Haiku

This muscle stiffness
proves once and for all that work's
a pain in the neck

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Would you like to talk
about why everyone else
is better than you?

---------------------------- 

Gray hair denotes age,
experience and no cash
for hair coloring

Friday, May 27, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Never part of the
cool kids' table, I'm now not
even in the room

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

I can't care less, for
to do so, I would have to
care to begin with

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Negativity
and frustration differ since
with one, you still care

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Without moving my
chair, my place here, my view, has
now changed completely

Monday, May 23, 2011

Monday's Haiku

It's okay to talk
to me anytime, but don't
expect I'll listen

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

The window of my
heart is fragile, and made up
of multiple panes

------------------------------

Sometimes even the
best candidates don't make it
onto the ballot

Friday, May 20, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Masturbation is
basically just a way to
give yourself a hand

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Though she rarely slept,
She bought a new bed for it's
recreational use

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

You can always tell
the Dogwood tree from all the
others by it's bark

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

She removed the fake
moustache, as she received too
many compliments

Monday, May 16, 2011

Monday's Haiku

I'd apologize
to haiku haters, but I'm
out of syllables

Friday, May 13, 2011

Weekend Haiku

I take vitamin
D supplements, as my sun
comes in caplet form

-------------------------

Disappointed by
the pole's length, I then told her
it's telescoping

Friday's Haiku

Autographing your
school chair doesn't make it an
assigned seat, Billy

Thursday's Haiku

Waiting for my phone
interview, I wonder why
I wore a new tie

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

A celebrity
now, she's forgotten all of
her friends from before

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

She gives me her sweet
pillow kisses, even when
we're both standing up

Monday, May 9, 2011

Monday's Haiku

My pains are being
caused by the one disease that
has no cure: old age

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day Bonus Haiku

Don't be a mother
and not thank your Mother for
being a Mother

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Twenty-five year old
photos show you don't always
make the best choices

----------------------------

I find balconies
to be just a patio
with an attitude

Friday, May 6, 2011

Friday's Haiku

I'd be a dancer
still if it wasn't for skill,
gravity and beer

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

"I must agree, the
flowered sundress is great, but
not on me," he said

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

When you return from
Kathmandu, you will never
shout about traffic

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Visitors are like
pimples, they always arrive
when you don't want them

Monday, May 2, 2011

Monday's Haiku

"Bikini watching
sucks at this beach," he said.  She
replied, "It's midnight."

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Consider tipping
only if their center of
gravity is high

---------------------

The bikini does
bring out your blues eyes, but you're
creeping me out, Carl

Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Tears on the pillow,
she'd misheard his claim to be
a trained pianist

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

She's like a silent
movie as both are better
with a good organ

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

She refused to see
the silent film, as she thought
that she couldn't talk

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

He found it was the
audience's wild applause
that gave him the clap

Monday, April 25, 2011

Monday's Haiku

It's hard to be an
appreciative audience
when you have no hands

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Weekend Haikus

Straight lines are just ones
who haven't had a chance to
experience life

---------------------------

Straight lines may be the
shortest distance between two
points, but they're boring

Friday, April 22, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Life may move in a
straight line, but it's the curves that
make the memories

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Teasing me on the
playground is far more hurtful
now that I'm forty

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

She was the ex-wife,
so he didn't love her less,
just not anymore

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Unprotected sex
could mean minutes of "yes" and
a lifetime of "no"

Monday, April 18, 2011

Monday's Haiku

If your lover feels
cold and distant, don't wait so
long to dig them up

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Swimming fifty laps
seems less impressive in a
plastic kiddie pool

--------------------

Plastic kiddie pools
are like some folks I know: all
shallow, no deep end

Friday, April 15, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Hopping on just one
foot, I realize that I meant
to say, "Shoo, fly, shoo"

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

The abused french fry
had been cut up, battered, and
also a salted

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

At my age, most men
want security, while I
need maturity

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

If you only fire
when you see the whites of their
eyes, don't aim at drunks

Monday, April 11, 2011

Monday's Haiku

All vanity, all
pretentions go right out the
flap, when you're camping

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

The more pictures I
take with my camera, the
less pictures I'm in

-----------------------

Photography, like
alcohol, is measured by
how good the shot is

Friday, April 8, 2011

Friday's Haiku

The fastest they moved
all morning was when he yelled
out, "Coffee's Ready!"

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

I'm hoping the fresh
air will cure this bad headache.
That and Excedrin.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

Preparing for the
hike took much more energy
than the hike itself

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Though we'd reached the peak,
it felt awkward to say it's
all downhill from here

Monday, April 4, 2011

Monday's Haiku

Las Vegas is where
even using the bathroom
is a game of chance

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

I'm back!  Here's the weekend haiku's:

Her glasses turned her
eyes into the double paned
windows to her soul

-----------------------

He raised his head, eyes
closed, and barked at the moon, just
for the howl of it

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Since I will be away from a computer all week, I'm posting Monday Thru Friday's posts today.

Whining is only
allowed around these parts if
it's a good Merlot

Thursday's Haiku

Since I will be away from a computer all week, I'm posting Monday Thru Friday's posts today.

If Jeremiah
was a bullfrog. the wine he
drank was Char-toad-nay

Wednesday's Haiku

Since I will be away from a computer all week, I'm posting Monday Thru Friday's posts today.

Spring has arrived so
why won't someone get up and
show Winter the door?

Tuesday's Haiku

Since I will be away from a computer all week, I'm posting Monday Thru Friday's posts today.

Broken glass, a dead
puppy or mumps are not good
baby shower gifts

Monday's Haiku

Since I will be away from a computer all week, I'm posting Monday Thru Friday's posts today.

He howled at the moon,
not because it's full, but since
he is a poodle

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Based on a news headline:

Man without anus
saw silver lining: better
back there than up front

-----------------------

Man without anus
found out that his lack of ass
is what made him whole

Friday, March 25, 2011

Friday's Haiku

Doctor Jeckyl was
bad at almost all the games,
except Hyde and seek

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

Working out to John
Coltrane is just not one of
my favorite things