Weekend Haiku's

Our summer seems to
be being doled out slowly
in bite-sized segments 

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Work is like swimming
up a raging river with
no arms and one leg

Friday's Haiku

Alone for years now,
when she needed a man, she'd
reach for her drawer

Thursday's Haiku

She said she wanted
something hot for her birthday,
so she got a stove

Wednesday's Haiku

Her birthday's coming,
and since I'm low on money,
I'll just give her me

Tuesday's Haiku

Nobody really
relishes solitude 'til
they live without it

Monday's Haiku

I don't wish them harm,
but the flu or a stomach
virus would be fine

Weekend Haiku's

Paddle swish, ball thonk,
I don't play a mean pinball;
I'd be better blind 

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The sun shines, but I'll
stay inside, not wanting to
share it with others

Friday's Haiku

Hanging around the
winners. strangely, makes me feel
more like a loser

Thursday's Haiku

Porky is much less
happy with dinner, when he
hears it's a luau

Wednesday's Haiku

I'm not offended
that he addressed us, "Ladies,
Gentlemen and James"

Tuesday's Haiku

She likes to braid her
hair, which would be fine, if it
weren't from her armpits

Monday's Haiku

Hangovers remind
you what your brain was warning
you about last night

Weekend Haiku's

He says he loves kids,
which completely explains the
restraining order 

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Who knows how warm it
is under the large maple
tree?  The shadow knows

Friday's Haiku

He carries his cat
everywhere, which is nice, but
it died late last year

Thursday's Haiku

Sunshine caresses
would be best if not followed
by halogen's glare

Wednesday's Haiku

She flips her hair, winks
and giggles, whch would be cute
if she weren't fifty

Tuesday's Haiku

You know it's going
to be a rough day when your
in-box collapses

Monday's Haiku

Who invited Bob?
Like Sarah Palin, he's just
bad for this party

Weekend Haiku's

He found out the hard
way that you can't get milk from
water buffalo 

---------------------------- 

When it comes to fun
there's no such thing as too much,
just not near enough

Friday's Haiku

She hid the Twinkies
in a box of Ding-Dongs, since
she hates Ding-Dongs

Thursday's Haiku

His whole plan was to
eat a whole box of Twinkies
and stay up all night

Wednesday's Haiku

The health food cafe's
most famous dish is Sparrow
Asparagus Quiche

Tuesday's Haiku

The Fourth of July
celebrates our freedom to
blow some shit up good

Monday's Haiku

The scenic boat cruise
would be so much more scenic
if you weren't sleeping

Weekend Haiku's

Her chiropractor
was always so willing to
take a crack at it 

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I love my city
even more when I see it
through a stranger's eyes

Friday's Haiku

When they start making
cod and oyster burgers, cows
better start swimming