Monday, February 28, 2011

Monday's Haiku

She called me a sex
fiend, as an insult, as if
it is a bad thing

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Stains on your shirt are
a reminder you have not
perfected eating


I'd be less upset
about the food stain on my
shirt, if I'd liked lunch

Friday, February 25, 2011

Friday's Haiku

The storm brought enough
snow to just lightly coat the
emerald city white

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

What's the use of snow
if schools are open and you
can't make good snowballs?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

I've been sleeping like
a baby, up every
few hours, crying

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

When the train comes in,
it's the one time people are
fine being off-track

Monday, February 21, 2011

Monday's Haiku

I would like Warren
Buffet or Bill Gates more if
I was in their wills

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Whenever you see
flashing lights behind you, it's
already too late


Whenever you see
flashing lights behind you, don't
pretend to be drunk

Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday's Haiku

I can't do laundry,
yard work, dishes, or my chores.
I gave blood today

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

His reflection did
remind him of his father,
but much, much younger

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

I'd like to have a
glass of Sauvignon Blanc, but
my eyes are all red

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Candy is a nice
"I love you" gift, unless they
are diabetic

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day Haiku

Here's a few haiku for Valentine's Day:

Trust me here, just say,
"Happy Valentine's Day," don't
say, "Happy V.D."


Valentine's Day is
the time to say, "I love you,"
even if you don't.


On Valentine's Day,
it is okay to say that
you have a heart on.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Here's a double shot for the weekend:

A new girlfriend won't
solve your problems, but she might
help you forget them


A new girlfriend should
be loudly celebrated,
unless you're married

Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday's Haiku

I'd sing a quick song
about two thousand pounds, but
I'm really ton-deaf

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

A new girlfriend is
really the adult version
of a do-over

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

He thought he hid his
aggravation behind his
smile, but his teeth showed.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Blue sky, sunshine, I
woke her with, "Carpe Rainier,"
or, "Seize the mountain."

Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday's Haiku

The Super Bowl is
the one time each year that we'll
watch the commercials

Friday, February 4, 2011

Weekend Haiku's

Here's a couple silly ones for the weekend:

Richard lasted just
thirty seconds in bed, which
is his new record


Richard lasted just
thirty seconds in bed, which
is so all her fault

Friday's Haiku

After you have a
cold, everyone blames you when
they go and get sick

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Thursday's Haiku

For men, snow's like a
penis: we like bragging on
the inches we got

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Wednesday's Haiku

The doghouse is seen
as punishment, but the dog's
happy to see me

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Tuesday's Haiku

Contractions help to
combine words or tell you that
the baby's coming