Friday haiku

Halloween candy
just tastes sweeter, because you
had to beg for it

Thursday haiku

They performed their song,
"Hero", while fans drank a beer
entitled "Loser."

Wednesday haiku

Had Little Caesar's
pizza, ate just one slice, but
you et two, Brute

Tuesday haiku

Ironically, Dick
was the very proud owner
of a wiener dog

Monday haiku

If time does indeed
stop for no man, then why does
my watch keep dying?

Weekend haiku

The spine broke on my
book, which can only mean it's
child stepped on a crack 

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Life doesn't stop just
because you are in pain, it
seems to slow way down

Friday haiku

Billy has tunnel
vision, which is logical,
since he's a gopher

Thursday's haiku

My friend has six pack
abs, but he's jealous of me,
as I have keg abs

Wednesday's haiku

After meeting the
multi-ethnic barista,
he now likes mochas

Tuesday haiku

Most people don't like
being green, as it takes more
of their energy

Monday haiku

When it's as nice as
it is today, it makes it
hard to go back in

Weekend haiku

Since he discovered
topless baristas, he drinks
a lot more coffee 

------------------------ 

I think the Osmonds
were wrong, one bad apple can
spoil the whole bunch, girl

Friday haiku

I'm just a rooster
who needs a hen who wants my
cock-a-doodle-do

Thursday haiku

I am so tired,
I feel like a toothpaste tube
that's been squeezed empty

Wednesday haiku

Hecklers don't get
stage fright or anxiety,
they just get sore throats

Tuesday's haiku

He said water had
been thrown in his face, but he
had no eye wetness

Monday haiku

Secret to long life:
Don't schedule meeting with Death
on your calendar

Weekend haiku

I really love my
new skylight, but my upstairs
neighbor disapproves 

-------------------------- 

Andy would likely
be a psychopath if he
had the energy

Friday haiku

Walking on concrete
just feels wrong, so I try to
always walk on dirt

Thursday haiku

When they take away
all that makes us special, then
we no longer are

Wednesday haiku

There's still March madness
in April, winter's chill, hints
of May's arrival

Tuesday's haiku

April arrives on
March's goodbye, waving her
flowers to and fro

Monday haiku

April arrives, shy
body and nimble tongue, and
soon I hope she may

Weekend haiku

Today, I must be
in the third Hobbit movie,
because I'm dragon 

----------------------------- 

Joan decided not
to be a stalker, Bill just
wasn't worth the work

Friday haiku

When they make love, and
she's on top, his mind always
thinks of ducks swimming

Thursday haiku

God made little dogs
just to give all the big dogs
something to snack on

Wednesday haiku

Both political
sides have party in their name,
but neither seem fun