Thursday, March 31, 2016

Thursday haiku

The longest I've worked
anywhere is five years, and
I've been here fifteen

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Wednesday haiku

Window shopping has
a very different meaning
to a peeping Tom

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Tuesday haiku

The voyeur always
knows what time it is because
she just likes to watch

Monday, March 28, 2016

Monday haiku

The voyeur has a
really good ticker because
she just likes to watch

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Weekend haiku

Here in heaven, I
have to wonder, how do you
mess up "Go to hell?" 


The drunk said, "Let's talk
about anything, but vomit
better not come up!"

Friday, March 25, 2016

Friday haiku

Why do you have to
be a total bitch? Oh wait,
you're not my husband

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Thursday haiku

Drunk in Paris, my
tube socks wet and askew, I
feel like shitaake

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Wednesday haiku

At the vet's, as we
put our cat to rest, both room
doors were marked "Exit"

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Tuesday haiku

She asked me to be
Snow White's last dwarf in her play,
but that's just Dopey

Monday, March 21, 2016

Monday haiku

The bare window knew
it wasn't the end, but it
was curtains for him

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Weekend haiku

It's okay if Jack
Daniels is your whiskey, let
me be your liquor 


Buddhists put themselves
in the middle of photos
just to be centered

Friday, March 18, 2016

Friday haiku

All my life, I've seen
signs which read, "Jesus Saves," but
not one says which bank

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Thursday haiku

The best birth control:
babysit hyperactive
seven year old kids

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Wednesday haiku

Emperor Nero
had a barbeque, fiddle
music filled the air

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Tuesday haiku

Trump supporters aren't
racist ignorant hicks, as
most of them aren't hicks

Monday, March 14, 2016

Monday haiku

Billy found out his
girlfriend made whiskey part-time,
and he loved her still

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Weekend haiku

Jill loves the Fourth of
July, as it's the one time
she gets a good bang 


Married thirty years,
they now only make love when
they can find the parts

Friday, March 11, 2016

Friday haiku

Bobby works very
hard trying to find ways to
not work very hard

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Thursday haiku

For Jillian, there
is nothing mellow about
her melodrama

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Wednesday haiku

I think I suffer
from O.D.D: Obsessive
Doofus Disorder

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Tuesday haiku

I'm not losing my
hair, my forehead has become
much more assertive

Monday, March 7, 2016

Monday haiku

For the buffalo,
his cell phone bill was huge. They
charged him for roaming

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Weekend haiku

Romney called Trump a
fraud and liar.  Well, duh, he's
a politician 


Romney called Trump a
huckster, or in other words,
a Republican

Friday, March 4, 2016

Friday haiku

In the darkness, the
wind shakes the trees, or at least
I hope it's the wind

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Thursday haiku

It's Ramadan, so
she's fasting, maybe I should
stop offering cake

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Tuesday haiku

The planks of wood kept
taking pictures of themselves
as they liked shelfies