Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Wednesday haiku

Everyone ranging
from zero to nobody
cares much about me

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Tuesday haiku

The sweat on my lip
from drinking this cold beer means
I need exercise

Monday, August 29, 2016

Monday haiku

Jill's camera takes
Thanksgiving shots, while I take
shots of Wild Turkey

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Weekend haiku

"There's always room for
Jello!" Now we know Cosby's
name for Little Bill

--------------------------------

Cleaning mirrors is
a job that I truly can
see myself doing

Friday, August 26, 2016

Friday haiku

We all wear targets
on our backs, but our actions
can control the size

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Thursday haiku

Are you pretty and
a bit naive? Bill Cosby
has a pill for you!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Wednesday haiku

Winning this award
makes me proud, though I wonder,
"What took so damn long??"

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Tuesday haiku

Being taken for
granted is much better than
just being taken

Monday, August 22, 2016

Monday haiku

He told the genie
he wished for more time, now his
garden's full of it

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Weekend haiku

Summer Olympics:
my personal reminder
to get to the gym

-------------------------

Summer Olympics:
my personal reminder
to suck in my gut

Friday, August 19, 2016

Friday haiku

I said, "It's okay
to leave me here, but not cool
to have left me here."

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Thursday haiku

If it does take a
village to raise a child, John
had half a village

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Wednesday haiku

If it does take a
village to raise a child, John
needs at least seven

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Tuesday haiku

If it does take a
village to raise a child, Bill
needs to sue his town

Monday, August 15, 2016

Monday haiku

If it does take a
village to raise a child, John
needs a large city

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Weekend haiku

She said I caught Bill
at a bad time, which must be
Monday through Sunday

---------------------------------

All my loving, I
will give to you, except for
my deep love of pie

Friday, August 12, 2016

Friday haiku

Bill eats so many
mushrooms, my momma says he's
nothing but truffle

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Thursday haiku

Trump's ego keeps on  
expanding, while thankfully,  
his support deflates

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Wednesday haiku

My pinball machine
is still broken, so she can't
hit my balls around

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Tuesday haiku

If you spend all your
time in a lemon tree, you
will end up sour

Monday, August 8, 2016

Monday haiku

I will always bet
on the weirdos, because I
tend to like the odds

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Weekend haiku

She's staring at me,
probably wondering why
I keep staring back

--------------------------------

Her sweater glistens
with iridescent threads, or
she's really sweaty

Friday, August 5, 2016

Friday haiku

Trump winning is like  
Taco Bell: Both will make us  
run for the border

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Thursday haiku

Bernie Sanders taught  
Republicans/Democrats  
to embrace what's left

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Wednesday haiku

This table reserved,
all of the other tables
are much friendlier

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Tuesday haiku

Republicans now
control the house and senate.
Rich white men are back!

Monday, August 1, 2016

Monday haiku

Staring at the floor,
he missed all the cute girls, but
he found a nickel