Monday haiku

Every time I mop,  

I realize how bad I  

am at coloring

Friday haiku

Just because you've had  

a Whopper or two doesn't  

make you Burger King

Thursday haiku

The vegan strip club:

The breasts and thighs are real, but  

you can't have them here

Wednesday haiku

Drove past the vegan  

strip club, where all the ladies  

are dancing with soy

Tuesday haiku

Drove past the vegan  

strip club, where you shouldn't treat  

the ladies like meat

Monday haiku

Jill's a strong woman.  

Her one weakness? She lives on  

Achilles Hill Rd.

Weekend haiku

The sign warned, "Fallen  

rocks" and I wondered what sin  

they had committed  

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They tried talking with  

her. drive-by proselytizing,  

she said, "God no!"

Friday haiku

Trump may never be  

logical, but he sure is  

pathological 

Thursday haiku

Wes is older than  

computers though younger than  

dirt, but just barely

Wednesday haiku

She knows she's getting  

older because her birthday  

suit needs a good press

Tuesday haiku

The Beauty and the  

Beast theme on a constant loop  

in my head... kill me

Monday haiku

The Goonies R still  

good enough, though with Corey  

Feldman, just barely

Weekend haiku

How is it the songs  

from my high school years are now  

considered oldies?  

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The Goonies film is  

forty years old, yet Corey  

Feldman won't grow up

Friday haiku

No matter how old  

she gets, it does help that he  

is always older

Thursday haiku

For her birthday, she  

had just one wish, but dammit,  

he is still alive

Wednesday haiku

Most condiments, in  

almost every fridge, are way  

past their best by date

Tuesday haiku

No matter how full  

refrigerators get, there's  

always room for wine

Monday haiku

In our country, there's  

no kings, though we could really  

use a lot more queens

Weekend haiku

For her birthday, she's  

decided she will wear her  

birthday suit all day  

----------------------------------  

For her birthday, she's  

decided she'll celebrate,  

but just a little

Friday haiku

For her birthday, she's  

decided she will admit  

she's older... this time

Thursday haiku

Looking for a new  

job feels a lot like being  

pecked to death by ducks

Wednesday haiku

 If at first, you don't  

succeed, destroy all proof and  

then try it again

Tuesday haiku

If at first, you don't  

succeed, lie, lie again and  

pretend that you did

Monday haiku

If at verse, you don't  

succeed, there is always a  

limerick or ode